Categories
kids Life Life Tips

离别开出花:送给我的孩子们

Reading Time: < 1 minute

Update 09-26-2025: she is back safe and sound and we asked her this boring question: did you miss us? …… based on the feedback, we think she is ready for some sleep away summer camp next summer 🙂

(Original 09-10-2025) 再过一个礼拜,下礼拜三我们家小宝(潇宝)就要第一次离开爸爸妈妈,和她的六年级小朋友们,老师们,以及Ladue 高中的大哥哥大姐姐counselor 们去大概80公里以外的 Camp Mihaska 宿营两个晚上。The 6th graders camp has been a Ladue Middle School tradition since year 1977 – when I was 6 years old. I believe not many this school year’s LMS 6th graders parents were born yet, my wife included 🙂

我想到我们大女儿在比她妹妹大一岁的时候去100英哩以外的罗拉 Cub Creek Animal Science Camp 住了六个晚上。那一年2022年夏天她的camp 的dorm room 好像都是以前不认识的新朋友。我记得我那几天天天等她的email: 她礼拜三终于轮到了用电脑的机会给我们报了平安。

大女儿现在已经是高二。大概一年前,有一次我开车接她回家的路上说起读大学的事。她很严肃地跟我说:爸爸,我读大学的事我自己来做主。她说这句话时的成熟度让我有点吃惊。其实我知道有一段时间她心里已经蛮想自己一个人出去闯荡了。当然那时她还不到十五岁,读高一,真的准备好没有我是有疑惑的或不确定的。

我又想到老爸我自己18岁高中毕业去武汉上大学:一个人背着行李从上海的十六铺码头走上长江轮,跟我的爸爸和姑父挥手告别。后来又在大学毕业四年以后从上海独自来美留学。我记得来美之前的那个晚上没睡着:因为我不确定美国到底是个怎么样的地方?|| 从父母的角度我常听说”儿(女)行千里母担忧”。我想做父亲也一样:只是我们中国的传统文化里还有”男儿有泪不轻弹”。那父亲也就最好不要表现会外露自己的真实感情了。我自己的经验和观察是有不少父亲也是担忧的或弹眼泪的(或者把眼泪留在眼眶里?)。可怜天下父母心:虽然我现在已年过半百,在我的老母亲那里,我可能还是那个12岁就去镇海中学读书的小孩。比如说她会担心我下午两三点到上海,有地方吃饭吗?找的到旅馆吗?等等。昨天我小女儿就跟我说接送她去学校的事,我跟她开玩笑说:I want to hold you (我要把你抱起来)。她说No, but we can hug. Best of the luck in the road ahead, my baby girl. Dad always loves you.

这里有离别开出花完整的歌词。

PS: if you are looking for summer camp information in the St. Louis area, I have maintained a blog post.

Categories
Career

养老公司

Reading Time: < 1 minute

我上过班的村里公司,分成养老公司和非养老公司。请注意:养老公司不等于你可以啥事也不做,或者他们从不裁员。养老公司的主要意思是那里基本上干多干少,干好干坏都差不多:所以我感觉适合混日子养老。

养老公司

大部分是村里公司,除了Autodesk (work from home) 和Union Pacific Railway (通过Unidev, 不推荐Unidev)

UGS, or Siemens Digital Industrial Software:我在美国的第一个雇主,后来被德国西门子收购的软件公司。

Autodesk:跟西门子工业软件部有点类似的软件公司,但规模更大。

下面两家我是Contractor (BTW,这里有我的一篇做 Contractor或employee 的文章)。

UnigroupUnion Pacific

接下来看我继续做我的employee。
Arch Resources: formerly Arch Coal


Enterprise Mobility (EM,formerly Enterprise Holdings Inc,or EHI), private owned by the Taylor family in St. Louis。村里一般叫Enterprise. Enterprise 我是二进宫:2013年做短期合同工,现在(从2021年夏天开始)迄今做employee。


Mercy Health: 2nd largest hospital in St. Louis area


Ascension Health: 2nd largest hospital chain in the USA, behind Kaiser Permanente

非养老公司

也就是可能会把你油水榨干的公司
Mastercard (万事达卡)

举个油水被榨干的具体例子:主要是 on-call 相关的。我有一些博客文章提到 on-call, 比如这个 Sleep – go to “Pager Support (On-call)”. 我记得有一个礼拜六晚上,是production deployment (release), 我是 lead biz op engineer, a fancier word for SRE, stands for Site Reliability Engineer, or production support engineer. 结果因为一个certificate 过期,找能生成 certificate 的人等了一晚上,到拂晓才弄到新的 cert, 完成 deployment. 一夜基本没睡。

在万事达卡公司,我大概有两年多在 on call rotation. 除了有时候真的有production issue, or product release, 或者说真的有事,或做事。On call 其实有两方面的额外压力:

1. 有时候手机 (Pager) 会在将要睡觉或在半夜里响起来,虽然多数时间是 false alarm, 但是因为我是一个睡眠比较敏感的人,一般来说,Pager 响起来我的睡眠就已经受到影响了。

2. 要时刻准备着 pager 会响起来。这对我的业余生活也会有影响。比如,如果我去游泳,我要把手机放在离游泳池不远的地方,以免错过这个 Pager 的短信。去朋友家,去商店,等我都要带着公司电脑,以防万一。

Some observations and thoughts

I found out the lesson via hard way, that at 养老公司, sometimes we encounter nice but extremely incompetent people: and that could mess up things and cause issues. I talked a bit here in my earlier blog post, under “Lesson learned“, if you are interested.

Last but not the least: 不管在哪里,养老或非养老公司,自己千万不要卷自己,老板不榨你油水,结果你把自己的油水榨榨干。你还别笑:这种傻事yours truly 也做过的😂

My point – try to spend as much time as possible with the people you like and doing the things you enjoy. Because life is short – even if one lives to 100 🙂

Categories
gadgets

S18 游泳和运动耳机和MP3 player

Reading Time: < 1 minute

几个月之前我把锻炼从走路换回到游泳。我在想是不是有游泳的耳机。最近在万能的朋友圈看到这个产品。我就下了单。今天第一次使用这个运动/游泳耳机🎧(MP3 player). 效果还马马虎虎吧。唯一小意外是这个桔红色耳塞掉了几次(我都找回来了[捂脸][呲牙])。下次我还是会用原来的常规的耳塞。游泳时用这个MP3 player 的好处是在游泳池游泳不会是那么boring: 或者说有可能多游一点。这有点像跑步时听音乐一样。#运动耳机 #游泳耳机 #防水耳机 #MP3Player

亚马逊🔗:PSIER Bone Conduction Headphones

充电🔋和充满电后的使用时间大概都是2个小时左右。Note it can be used as a regular MP3 player or a headset (with microphone, paring with your smartphone), during hiking or jogging. It will provide more situational awareness because the voice you hear is going through your bone instead of the ear directly. In other words you can heard your surroundings when you are outside. (Update 09-23-2025) Just came across a similar product at local Costco a few days ago. I think it may have better quality (because it’s sold in Costco 🙂

今天(2025-09-04)发现仰泳时这个耳机的效果最好。Do you want to guess why? (hint: my ears were always under water then).

Would you like to guess what (whose) music I put on the headset? 🙂

PS: you may find this post about JCC STL Swimming pool useful if you are also a J member. Personally I have been a J member since year 2012.

Categories
Saint Louis Travel

More St Louis area restaurants

Reading Time: < 1 minute

Taco Buddha: we went to the U City (close to Clayton one). We were going to the good old Corner 17 (link goes to Yelp, you can join waiting list there, but please make sure you check in at the front desk too), but the waiting time is too long. One thing I noticed is their adoption of technology: they have a QR code that the customer can use to order from the table. The technology provider is the Toast. Initially I was a bit hesitant because it charges only one cent to start. Because I worked for the credit card company I quickly realized it’s just an AUTH, not the actual tab. They actually texted me the link to the tab just in case.

Another place in the Delmar Loop area Sikao Life Chinese BBQ has similar ordering system too.

Ethyl’s Smoke House and Saloon: note I mentioned it here – I went again recently with a friend as he was driving by (drive through STL area along highway 70).

Note I haven’t been to the below restaurants: I saw them over FB and just bookmarked them here.

=======

French: Brasserie

Spanish (tapas) : Barcelona Tapas Restaurant Saint Louis


Categories
Career

Are LinkedIn job postings real?

Reading Time: < 1 minute

LinkedIn probably is the largest job postings website, at least in the USA, nowadays.

But sometimes it seems to me at least, the job postings there may not be real. For example, this one, Lead Software Engineer-R-252949 at Mastercard, and it appears is exactly the same as the newly reposted one Lead Software Engineer both have the same requisition number R-252949 at the MC Workday website.

Don’t know if it’s just the LinkedIn reposted automatically, or MC people reposted it on LinkedIn.

Categories
Saint Louis uber-and-side-hustle

More Uber Driving

Reading Time: 2 minutes

I had two new experiences this morning. It appears I just received a one-star rating from a passenger (the 1st time for me): don’t know for sure why and who. But one girl (passenger, or customer) asked me if she can vape in my minivan, and I told her no (I told her politely though).

Also, I drove on some sketchy area in St. Louis, such as this one: Northway Supermarket. It seems the general area is Walnut Park East (and my google term here). And it seems to me this Yelp review (see below) is quite fair. Honestly when I drove by that place the 1st time this morning, I thought people were doing drug trade – buy and sell 🙂

Read Isaac H.‘s review of Northway Supermarket on Yelp.

And this is the whole route.

(Update 08-12-2025) I did an adhoc Uber driving yesterday afternoon. I got about one hour of time, after swimming. Turned down a few exclusive requests (they are a bit long for me). And did two short trips. I looked at my stats this morning, and it seems my acceptance rate was impacted because I didn’t accept the exclusive requests. I don’t mind that much as my overall score is already down, and I no longer qualify for the advantage mode due to that. The acceptance rate drop was not as bad. Anyway, next time I may be a bit more careful if I only have one hour or less to drive. Maybe just skipping Uber driving altogether.

(Update 10-12-2025) I didn’t do much driving recently. Last I recall was a Wednesday afternoon (evening), I drove for about one hour after picking up my kids. I did come across an article from Yahoo today (I’ve Driven for Uber for a Decade. I Don’t Know What My Future Holds. – Business Insider). I read it via Yahoo and it didn’t have paywall.

(Update 12-22-2025) I drive for Uber and Lyft after retiring from Wall Street. The principles I learned as a trader help me make more money.

Categories
Fun Video Music

A link for Bilibili video

Reading Time: < 1 minute

This is the link to the video Ayen何璟昕「向光性」live performance on Bilibili 哔哩哔哩。I believe the actual date is 04-08-2023 at Rizhao, Shandong province, China 2023.04.8 山東日照櫻谷彈唱會。

I created this link because Wikipedia rejects the bilibili link: in “https://b23.tv/1234567” format. I don’t know why.

Categories
Fun Life Software development

Production release, perform and high stake exams

Reading Time: 3 minutes

I did a production release last week, by that I mean I was the release tech lead for the web app production releases for my current employer. It’s mostly uneventful, but like most other production releases, there is usually some learning opportunities. This time the opportunities lies in couple small areas: 1) Validation of database insert statements, make sure the spelling of the select statement is exact; 2) Staging the artifact for production, via GitHub action. I was a bit new to both “staging artifact” and GitHub Action, this time I learned on the spot, with help from a colleague.

Friendly crowd

This reminds me of another thing, that is for artist, for example a musician or a singer to perform. There is pressure on live performance too. Similar to production deployment, if we have a friendly crowd (customers in the case of websites) and a collaborative team, things will be a bit easier.

Saturday night all-nighter

Some more tips on production deployment. I did do a few at my current job, and I did some at Mastercard (MC), my previous employer. The deployment was usually more stressful at MC. The main problem there is the production release usually happens on Saturday night, and it could be an all-nighter because the expectation is there, also it’s not easy to find all the right people quickly during the night. I recall once, I had to page my colleague, and he came on quickly, but we waited hours for the person to generate a new key (the old key expired, and the server would not start during restart). So basically, I could not completely go to bed, I laid down in the couch with headphone on, and I imagine my colleague did the same. Btw, the reason I asked help from my colleague was it’s the first time I encountered something like this (he has much more experience).

Lesson learned

At my current place, I did almost make a big mistake last year during production deployment. The issue was the UNIX engineer didn’t fully understand my instruction. Although one can argue my instruction was not very clear. But the end results was the engineer deleted much more arguments in the J2EE server configuration and the server would not start because of that. Luckily earlier I took my PM (project manager) colleague’s advice, and did a backup or save of the “before” arguments. So at least we have some references for the arguments as the UNIX engineer already deleted a bunch. Also the engineer called his senior engineer and he was able to bail out both of us. From that small incident I learned “don’t assume other people will always understand or follow the instructions”. Try to write good instructions, and also back up things as needed. Talking about backups, I usually do some DB backups when I delete something. That saved me once as I was trying to fix an issue at Mastercard. Basically when I realized my earlier fix didn’t work, I restore the data from my backup, and tried another approach. The second time it worked.

Performance

Back to artistic performance. I haven’t performed or competed for a long time. But I can see my older daughter got nervous before this sort of thing. And for my younger daughter: she tries to avoid those sorts of things, as much as practical, from junior tennis tournament to violin federation(performance) at UMSL, to string/music ensembles at Community Music School at Webster University. I can understand though. Because as I said in my other posts, I got nervous before Gaokao and other important exams too. The trick is, balance the nervousness with other important things such as preparing for the exam or the performances.

Btw, if you are in Yueyang, Hunan and surrounding areas, please note this – (Update 07-24-2025, from 何璟昕的微博) 听民谣,来岳阳🎶 我会参加7月25号、26号的湖畔音乐节演出,地点在岳阳港工业遗址公园,这次准备了3~4首从来没有在现场演出过的新歌曲,欢迎大家来玩!

Categories
Fun Life

在虹桥火车站旁边的一件趣事

Reading Time: < 1 minute

两年多前,2023年的3月。我在上海虹桥火车站附近,无意中碰到了大概快二十年(严格来说是19年)没见的大学同学(我好像是2004年在杭州见过他和他夫人)。因为我记得在西湖边不远的一茶一坐的餐馆里一起吃过饭。

当时我在我旅馆旁边散步。我住的旅馆是凯悦嘉轩虹桥商务区 Hyatt Place Hongqiao CBD (I talked about this hotel here)。我大概在申虹路靠近Cordis hotel 康德斯旅馆旁边,看到一个熟悉的面孔:但是我忘了他的名字。我就厚着脸皮说:我认识你,你是我华中理工大学的同学,我的名字是徐敏杰。他回过头来,发现并认出来是我。我大概 二十年前在杭州碰到过他:我去过他杭州的家。因为到2023年我们大学毕业都有三十年,我在大学毕业后变胖了不少,我有点担心他如果十年前没有见过我的话,2023年有可能会不大敢认。我记得他当时还掏钱给我买了回上海的火车票。

我今天正好看到下面这个视频。我觉得这两件事也有一点点联系。

Separately, I just came across this story from the YT interview (《繁花》火出圈,比它更恐怖的是上海女人,金宇澄的话,终于有人信了《十三邀S4 ThirteenTalks》 #许知远#十三邀): near the end, about 28 minutes mark, Mr. Jin 金宇澄 (he is the author of 繁花)made some comments. He basically retold the below story – 南亭笔记金叶子. 这个故事很短,我就贴在下面

晚清时代,有一个将军级的人,是湖南人。他穿着白的战袍、骑白马,有很多老婆,他有一大笔钱的话他就到上海来玩。但是他不是到上海花天酒地,他到上海化妆成一个乞丐,跪在四马路(现在的福州路,原来那里有很多妓院)

他手里拿着一沓手纸,看到一个女孩子,他就给人家一张手纸,不像现在的白纸,肯定是稻草黄颜色的手纸*。一般情况下,就是被女孩子骂,脏兮兮的送我这个干什么,就扔在地上了,也有心底很善良的女孩带走了。扔在地上他也不管,像地铁发小广告的,带走这个纸的女孩(们)回家发现里面夹了一张金叶子。

*注:我们小时候70和80年代农村就是用这种草纸(稻草黄颜色的手纸)。只有城市里像上海这种大城市会有白的卫生纸。现在大家基本上都用白的卫生纸了。

PS:

以前,大城市的火车站一般来说是比较乱的。我记得1993年大学同学去广东找工作,在广州火车站,说那里很乱被抢了;Over the years 我记得武汉(武昌),杭州,上海虹桥火车站也有不少人问要车还是要住旅馆等。这是我大学同学一开始不搭理我的一个大的背景。总的感觉,这些年来火车站比以前还是安全了不少。记得那时候(80年代末90年代初)火车上有时候也有点乱。

Talking about nice girls, I wrote about one nice girl from my hometown Zhejiang Province here, during a train trip. 记得当时一个武大还是华工科英的88级的女生给削了一个苹果,印象很深。

Categories
Fun kids Life

Dad daughter moments

Reading Time: 3 minutes

Okay, it’s Saturday and it’s good time for some chicken soup.

I went to swimming at the JCC indoor pool just now, with my younger daughter because she prefers the indoor pool over the outdoor one, also her tennis lesson got cancelled at the last minute. So I got to hang out with her for a bit: for real it’s just a bit, because she will be 11 in about 3 days, and I usually do my lap swimming. She mostly plays by herself in the recreational pool (the water is slightly warmer there). The temperature at the lap swimming pool is slightly lower, probably at 78 Fahrenheit or 25.6 Celsius, and my younger daughter doesn’t like either lap swimming or cold water. She calls it the cold pool.

When I was doing lap swimming, I noticed at the other end, a little girl who is in green swimming suit, she is probably 5 years old, and she was scared to get into the water. I swam to that end, and hear the young male swimming coach says “you have to go in either today or next time (assume next Saturday). The coach is probably a college student, I guess. The girl didn’t want to go. Eventually the coach gave up. After a while, I noticed the girl’s dad, with mom and her little sister nearby, helped the girl get into the water (the cold pool) the first time 🙂 It’s quite accomplishment. Now I remember the 1st time my older daughter (now 15) got into the cold cool the 1st time, many years ago (probably summer 2017 with the one and only coach Alyssa L).

Now if I can convince the soon to be 11 year old to swim again tomorrow. Btw, I am back to swimming daily after about 7 years break (was doing joggling or walking in last 7 years or so).

(07-13-2025) Was able to play Racquet ball with my younger daughter a bit at the J. A small win. I also swam at the J (both outdoor, and indoor pools). Went to the outdoor pool first, swam 200 yards, it started raining cat and dog, and everyone went inside.

(07-22-2025) Yesterday evening, I was napping and sleeping on my bed in the evening, at about 10 pm or so, I got up, and my older daughter noticed me getting up and asked “dad, can I have your tweezers (link goes to google). I realized she was a bit shy to wake me up. Similarly, probably 2 nights ago, my younger daughter saw I was napping, and because she usually says “good night” to me before her bedtime, she just climbs to my bed, and reach out her hand, and gently said “good night dad” 🙂 Back to my older daughter, it’s hard to get a hug from her nowadays. The other day, before the hug, she said: do you smell (meaning do you have bad body smell 🙂 I fully understand. They are 11 and 15 years old, respectively. We Chinese have a saying: 男女有别 nan nv you bie (link goes to google).

(07-23-2025) S6 suggested I took her to get boba tea at Sharesweet in the afternoon. And I did.

(07-26-2025) Something in my mind: I realized that if I sign up S8 for a math acceleration class and she will probably have better chance to pass the acceleration on 08/08. Now I will probably study a bit algebra 2 and try to poke her around (it’s not an easy job to say the least, because she doesn’t want to share).

(07-27-2025) S6 suggested I took her to the Korean grocery store next to the Tai’ke. And I did.