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Fun kids Life

Watch “Growing Pains” series again

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I watched a bit of “Growing Pains” on Apple TV last night: the 2nd show that has the Bruce Springsteen show tickets. I purchase the series from Apple, probably in year 2016, when Alan Thicke, who acted as the dad in the screen, Dr. Jason Seave, died.

I recall I watched most of the series in early 1990s at my childhood home, mostly during my summer and winter breaks in college years, which seems match the timing 成长的烦恼 showing time in China – “曾在台湾中华电视公司及中国大陆的上海教育电视台从1990年一直播到1994年中播出。”

I recall I didn’t go back much to my childhood home since summer 1993, the year I graduated from college. My parents also moved away a bit from our childhood home.

I have a few thoughts:

  1. in late 1980s and early 1990s, my adolescent and college years, I recall we were very curious about the outside world. I recall seeing movies such as True Lies, Twister (1996 film), Schindler’s List, and many westerns on Shanghai TV channel 2 (the international channel). The society and the country in general were much more open then too, here is some background (in Chinese) how they started to import those TV series – 文汇世纪 | 《成长的烦恼》《神探亨特》…当年上海电视台如何引进第一批美剧?||【话说上海】那些年我们一起追过的剧集 | 海外影视 This is probably my 1st exposure to the American high school (Michael and Carrol). More recently I learned a bit more about American high schools via Gilmore Girls (Netflix).
  2. Now that I have my own teen, I can sympathize better with the parents. This also ties back to my earlier blog post Summer Break 2024 – little moments. I left it in the draft mode for a while 🙂
  3. Some similar shows I watched recently include Gilmore Girls (available on Netflix), and Modern Family (available on Hulu).
Categories
Fun kids Life Software development

Summer Break 2024 – little moments

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Below moment is likely not isolated to summer. Sometime between March and July this year (year 2024). One day I took MacBook on sofa, and sit about 6 ft from my 14 year old. We were at the two ends of the sofa (couch). Her response: dad, you are not going to sitting here for good, right? She was on her computer and wanted privacy. My sweet 9 year old said: dad, I want to sit with you 🙂

This morning (early June): while I was driving to my 14 year old to Clayton HS, and I got distracted, passed Ladue road while driving on Warson south bound. Basically I went to the Ladue Middle School – made turn at Price & past JBS, and my 14 year old said: it’s 1st time I saw JBS 🙂

Since this summer, I started to play some board game with my 10 year old (was 9 year old before this past July), almost everyday. This continued even when she was in the Children’s Hospital for a few days in September. We played “spot it” during those days. Our most recent favorite game is Montessori Trinomial Cube (we played a ton lately, I am pretty sure she outgrew it. There goes my original plan to sell it on eBay 🙂 “Trash Panda” is probably the most complicated game for me. And I am glad some days we got to play table tennis in the basement.

PS: for anyone reading, please don’t share this with your teen kids – I am worry about the I may have the Bruce Springsteen show/tickets moments as shown in one of the Growing Pains series 🙂

Categories
Life

Avoid toxic people

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One of the life lessons I learned over the years is – avoid toxic people at all cost.

Charlie Munger mentioned it a few times.

This is the latest example as to why: Man arrested, charged in woman’s St. Louis death after Clayton abduction: “Investigators believe that Mosby and the victim, identified as 37-year-old Michelle Hampton, were known to each other.”

More from KDSK.com: 2nd suspect charged in deadly kidnapping of Michelle Hampton “According to documents from the U.S. District Court Eastern District, Mosby was the boyfriend of Michelle Hampton’s twin sister, Samantha Hampton.” Also quote this article here: Samantha said she had recently told Mosby that Michelle was holding a $40,000 settlement on behalf of their brother. My take: unfortunately, there is no drug for stupidity. This is partially the reason her twin sister got killed. Maybe I should add the stupid people in the title too.

Also earlier: ‘If I stop, my sister will be gone’ – Woman says she argued with 911 while following car with kidnapped sister

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advice and tips kids Life Life Tips

Stay in the hospital in America – 在美国住院

Reading Time: 7 minutes

中文翻译(主要是谷歌翻译的,我做了一点修改)在这里

This is probably the 3rd time we stayed in a hospital in America – if we count the time we spent in the Mercy for our 2 babies delivery (baby number 1 and number 2). Last week in my blog I talked about our little baby got sick. As she didn’t get better, we end up in the St. Louis Children’s hospital ER on Monday 9/9, and followed by inpatient care between 9/12 and yesterday 9/16. She is better and out of hospital now. The main concern was her fever and pneumonia.

Again it’s not the 1st time I go to hospital in America. I have been to ER once myself in year 2006 when I broke my chin at Stacy park and I drove myself to the Mercy ER shortly after. I recall when I was a teen, after watching some TV or movies, and sometimes I sort of romanticize “staying in hospital” (different TV or movies scene than the ER TV series here in the USA). Also probably I hoped for a break of school because my middle school and high school years are not easy.

In recent years especially last year, during my visit to China, I went to hospital everyday to see my mom (she was in the hospital). Also I saw her in IV infusion this year (note IV infusion is much more common in China than int he USA, even for the kids, separate topic); and I did IV infusion last year and a bunch of tests after falling from the ladder (advice: be careful when climbing ladder, using proper technique and safety cautions). I think my attitude towards hospital stay is more rational now: it’s a necessary evil we have to deal with. I am hoping to be away from hospital as much as practical.

Below is something new I noticed this time around.

Rounds

Doctors, nurses and personal care technicians (tech) kept families in the loop most of the time. Also, there are the morning “rounds” in which all the caregivers including the residents (the doctors in training) will have a discussion on the current status, and ask parents if there are any questions. This is somewhat like the “standup” in the agile world. I think it’s good.

Tablet

In year 2010 I recall the Mercy hospital room has traditional phone.

Fast forward 14 years, at the children’s I do notice the SamSung tablet in the room, and it can be used both for ordering meals as well as watching TVs (we didn’t watch this time). It also has some games similar to what we saw on Boeing 737 Max and 787 – our two kids played a bit together, and our little one played some alone too. I remember in the old days the meal is ordered from phone.

Electronic Medical Records

Another new development is Electronic Medical Records (EMR), and BJC (parent org for the Children’s) implemented Epic/MyChart in recent years. Adding my daughter’s EMR proxy access to my account took a few days: I simply requested for it and wait. I got my own MyChart set up at BJC a few years ago when I went there for the Covid vaccine (the Pfizer version). I received the access in about a week or so (thinking they may have manually looked into my relationship with my daughter).

Personally I like the electronic version of medical records much better than papers. Because I am not the best organized person for paperwork, as you can read from my earlier blog post – I need to better organize things.

I noticed our pediatricians office has a patient portal too. TAUC has a much simpler website but I recall once I downloaded the flu vaccine record for work. I also talked about my personal visit experience here last year – after an unexpected fall. Their wait time is quite long recently – the main reason we didn’t take our baby there this time. But I do have past interactions with doc there and I think he is good. This reminds me another thing: I need to look for a PCP again because the PCP I saw earlier this year moved away.

Customer Service etc.

Concierge (Customer Service Specialist): noticed concierge came to us when we were waiting at the ER waiting area on Monday 9/9, and she offered water, snacks etc. We saw customer service specialist during the hospital stay (inpatient) later as well.

Family Center: it’s at the 3rd floor of children’s hospital. I saw volunteers. They have coffee, drink, snacks and laundry services.

Ronald McDonald House

Education (missing school): the education specialist came on Monday 9/16 asked if we need anything school related.

Therapy Dog: this is probably one of the highlights during our little baby’s stay.

Appointment Helper for PCP (Primary Care Physician, or Pediatrician in this case).

Overall they are trying to make the place nice, welcoming etc. More like a hotel, vs a traditional hospital.

Parking, Meals, and Odds and Ends

Parking is free for the parents. One thing: don’t use the parent badge directly if you go in the 1st time using your car, which is more likely in the case of St. Louis metro area parents. The reason is if you come in using parent badge, you won’t have entry ticket – which is handy when you leave the hospital. Another reason is we need to turn in the parent badge when we leave. Today I had to use #lostTicket feature because I gave my entry ticket to my wife. It’s not a big deal, $16 is the cost of the parking fee. I noticed quite a few people (hospital workers?) parked along the Kingshighway Blvd across the street. Probably to save some parking fees.

Meal is included for the patients and two caregivers: it seems breakfast and dinner at the cafeteria, with some limitations; and lunch is available via a phone call. We didn’t order lunch btw. Our baby ordered her meals via the SamSung tablet.

There are some outdoor areas on the rooftop (8th floor) for kids/families to walk around.

The window view from the 10th floor room is also pretty good: we are facing kings highway blvd and can see forest park and nearby buildings in the area. I will attach couple pictures of the window view shortly. I also walked at the forest park once; and went to the shake shack at Euclid road once (I went there often when I was working at Cortex in year 2019 and 2020 before pandemic).

Bills

I just paid all the urgent care and pediatricians’ bills on myuhc.com via the HSA account (and SSO). Personally, I like this electronic version of dashboard/payments better than the good old paper-based approach. Guess how much I paid so far (note this is before the ER/Inpatient bills from the children’s hospital, which I estimate to be in thousands)? I paid about $900 so far.

Lessons learned

One thing I learned from all this, I think, is that choose urgent care place wisely, or try to see pediatrician 1st. On two occasions, Monday Labor Day 9/2 and Sunday 9/8 I took our little one to two urgent care places, and they cost about $300 per trip, and the 1st trip (9/2) didn’t diagnose the pneumonia (or maybe she didn’t have it at the time, but we didn’t do X-ray on 9/2, and she was diagnosed on 9/5 Thursday at Pediatrician office).

Also not all urgent care places are the same. In my old and current neighborhood, I recommend going to the Total Access Urgent Care (TAUC) at Creve Coeur (next to the Noodles co and Walgreens), and the St. Lukes Urgent Care (next to the CVS). The reason I didn’t go to TAUC 1st this time is mainly the wait time: 1st time it suggested about 7 hours wait time, the second time about 2 hours. But again sometimes, maybe a lot of times good things (and good doctors) are worth to wait.

How much will be overall bill cost? I am making a wild guess: between ER and the inpatient at Children’s Hospital, I am guessing I likely need to pay $5000 to $10,000, after the insurance discount. Over the years the US healthcare cost skyrocketed as well as the insurance premium. I recall back probably in year 2001, more than 20 years ago, I only paid about $10 or $15 for the tonsil removal surgery (for my then significant other). The hospital bills for our two babies are about $1,500 for normal delivery and hospital stay (2 nights, if my memory is correct) at Mercy St. Louis. Regarding ER, I mentioned I went to Mercy ER in year 2006, and the bill was about $800 then. The insurance company initially didn’t want to pay: I called them and they paid eventually.

Last but not least, if you like to read more, I talked about American Healthcare systems and hospitals in the past (here are post one, two, and three in a series, also this one).

(Update 09-19-2024) It appears that I got a scammer call yesterday (luckily, I didn’t give you much information). The number is 763 656 5847 (I just did a google search). Anyone the caller claims to be UnitedHealthCare (that’s also from the Caller ID on my iPhone). And the topic is around nurse line or nurse manager (the caller knows my kid’s name and my employer’s name; this leads to me think they are not total 100% scammers). I did some google around this topic too, and here is some of the reddit thread I found (one and two). I just blocked the phone number. Better to err on the cautious side 🙂

(Update 09-25-2024) The 1st batch of bills arrived at myuhc.com, and I paid them all – 9 bills total, and the total is under $1,000 from my side, the insurance company also paid some (after discount).

(Update 10-01-2024) The total for the hospital stay is $1,228.40 so far, per myChart – I paid all via myuhc.com

(Update 10-02-2024) Got the hospital bill, I paid $175.50 via myuhc while the uhc paid more than $1,579.50.

(Update 10-03-2024) I paid hospital $34.06. I think this is likely the tail end of the bills.

(Update 10-05-2024) I summarized my out of pocket expense for the hospital bills: $2,017.16 and the subtotal of pediatrician (3 visits total) and 2 urgent care visits: $959.49. Total is $2,976.65 so far. I believe most bills are created and paid. Again the most important thing is make sure we are healthy.

(Update 10-07-2024) One more bill from the children’s: Plan Paid $28,460.68; You (I) Paid $481.77 => this makes total hospital bill to $2,498.93; also this makes the total out of pocket pay (adding $959.49) to be $3,458.42. I think we may hit a limit or something like that for out of pocket expense for this year.

Categories
kids Life Life Tips

The 3rd week was tough

Reading Time: 2 minutes

Our 10 year old got sick on the 1st day of Labor Day weekend – 8/31 Saturday. She has violin private lesson and we had to do it over the Zoom. Initially we didn’t think too much of it, but on Monday 9/2, as we didn’t see her getting any better we decided to go to urgent care. And now I look back I think I may have chosen the wrong urgent care. The Total Access Urgent Care Creve Coeur has a long wait time, 1st estimate is 6:17 pm when I looked at it at about 11:30 am. Went to the St. Luke’s UC down the road and was told at least one hour wait. So I decided try the new Mercy Go Health at the Dierbergs plaza. The doctor said it’s some sort of viral respiratory infection but didn’t prescribe any medication, we did ruled out Covid and Streps via the tests. The doctor did listen to her lung as well.

Coming home and she wasn’t doing better. On Thursday 9/5 my wife decided taking her to see her normal pediatrician. It turns out to be pneumonia (google: long does child pneumonia last) and antibiotics were prescribed. My wife thought she may get well very quickly. I was not that confident though.

Thursday was also our 14-year-old first cross country meet and I decided to go and provide some support. Friday evening was 14-year-old first pep band performance for the high school’s 1st home football game. We came home exhausted after the game – we had fun.

Today 14 year old decided get some sleep in the morning instead of go to the 8:30 am cross country practice – which I agree. And 10 year old continues her violin lesson via Zoom once more.

Playing Time

Recently 10 year old and I got into a habit of doing some thing together, mainly around board game or something in the evening. On some of the nights I came back home a bit late: mainly because I was picking up my 14 year old. We still try to play something as simple as “spot it” (the game little kids play). Btw, it’s harder to beat the kids on the “Set game” nowadays – for me it’s almost impossible to beat 14 year old. Nowadays I started to appreciate the time spent with my daughters, as I realized my time with them is getting less as they grow up. This is especially true with 14 year old.

I know nowadays we usually want our kids get well soon when they are sick – but sometimes the virus has its own mind, and we just have to be patient 🙂

Reference

Fever or Chills, Age 11 and Younger 

Pneumonia in Children: Care Instructions (alberta.ca)

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advice and tips kids Life Life Tips math-and-edu

We survived two weeks of High School, so far :-)

Reading Time: 2 minutes

This probably should be the series 2 of Ladue high school, we are coming, series I is here and I wrote it about 9 months ago.

Now it’s real – which means, every morning, I have to be patient about the traffic on Warson road. And I am very proud to announce: so far I didn’t lose my cool ha ha 🙂 Though in one morning, I told my 14 year old it’s probably for her to ride bike when we were stuck near the stop sign at Warson and Conway.

Sports and schedule

This whole actually started in the summer, because my 14 year old took two online classes (health and PE), via Launch. Both are fairly intense courses, and more than once in our China and Hong Kong trip, including in Hong Kong, I had to walk with my 14 year old to make sure she gets enough steps or make the Garmin heart rate monitor happy. We actually started from St. Louis in late June 🙂

We encouraged her to sign up varsity sports. And I quickly realized the Cross Country program is more demanding than I thought. Btw, a little fun during the training (instagram :-).

At the same time, she decided (we ok’ed) her not doing the auditioning for YPOP (YPCO and YPSO) this school year at Webster University Community Music School. We don’t want to or try to hit at every pitch, as the old baseball saying goes (and Warren Buffett likes to say it many times).

What’s next

I can see she definitely has more homework. Also due to the Cross Country practice after school, she would feel tired and tended to do “doom scrolling” (I assume it’s TikTok and YT Shorts) instead of working on the homework right away. That would push her bed time to a time that her mom cannot tolerate.

Odds and Ends

There are a lot more of those in High School. One thing is about the volunteering and tracking hours – because it may help the college application/admission down the road. Also clubs and other extra-curriculum activities – I guess there may be implications to college application too, among other things. It basically create more work and put some more pressure on the kids/family.

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China gadgets iOS iPhone app Life Life Tips Technology Travel Web

VPN software I have used personally

Reading Time: 3 minutes

This article can also be read on Medium. But this blog post has all the up to date information, while the medium.com article doesn’t get regular update.

Sometimes called 科学上网 in CHN

Mac:

VPN Prime – Unlimited Proxy 4+

Update early June 2025, the free plan appears stopped working in my most recent CHH trip.

Update June 12, 2025: I purchased the paid plan, and it works (again I found a sever that worked). Considering switching from the below iOS app to this Mac app for my VPN needs.

Update 06-13-25: sometimes the connection will get reset and get lost. In that case, I tried to connect to another server and it usually works.

Update 06-14-2025: I felt more confident using this app. I think this is a viable option if I need to work from CHN (right now my employer doesn’t allow that).

iPhone, iPad

VPN – Super Unlimited Proxy 4+ (Update June 2025, it still works, I have the premium sub now, and I know not all servers work, and I have my fav server now. Email me if you like to know 🙂

Update 06-12-2025: I noticed this app doesn’t always work flawlessly. At least in the two hotels I stayed, it didn’t like the Hotel WiFi. I don’t know how the app works exactly, but during the connection process, it seems dropping the WiFi and used the cellular data, which would cause the connection issue.

Update 06-17-2025: again, this app works flawlessly when I am in the US. Now I tend to think due to its popularity, China blocks this app’s use 🙁

(Original) Note: both apps have free versions, and both have add-ons that are available for purchase. I verified them on my trip and they work for the most part, iPhone app sometimes takes a few tries to get going. The Mac app works out of the box most of the time.

Cell phone international roaming

I know T-mobile used to have it. Mint Mobile has international pass too: 1 day, 3 day and 10 day. The device can go to outside world just like the VPN would. One may have to check her/his current cell phone carrier and see there is such a program or a pass.

Cell phone roaming has its own advantage, for example, we can order food or ride-share cars as those apps are usually available on the smart phone and they usually require internet connection. But in the case of China, ideally one may want to get a local phone number, as it’s needed by the meituan and didi chuxing apps.

Other use cases:

Netflix (shows from other country etc.)

Organizations sometimes block certain social media websites: this can happen in the western countries too.

Other software

Nord VPN: paid. It takes some effort to get it working in CHN. It seems all the default servers are blocked. Had to open a ticket to get alternative server names (ip address etc.), try and error, to got it working in year 2023. Retrieved a list during most recent trip too (summer 2024), haven’t tried it out as I found the two solutions above are good enough.

Default setting for Nord VPN is working when in the USA. That’s true for the free versions for two apps above too.

(Update 01/03/2025) I found this bug a while back, the issue was when my phone is on the Mobile Data network (not Wi-Fi), and when the VPN was on via Wi-Fi before the cut over, it seems Nord VPN has difficulty connect to VPN. Took me a while to understand why I lost internet connection. I am ditching this app (and software) now – not solely because of this. It’s just another annoying thing or bug for me. I noticed it didn’t work out of box on the public K-12 school’s public Wi-Fi – had to use VPN – Super Unlimited Proxy 4+ (the free version: I may consider support them later once my Nord VPN subscription expires).

(Original post July 2024) Open VPN (I set it up on my own $DGCN server), but it stopped working for me in CHN in my 2023 trip. Bought Nord VPN in that trip too. Refer to this Chinese article if you want to learn more about OpenVPN or setup your own OpenVPN server (note it still works outside CHN’s GFW).

PS: you may want to take a look at eSIM app for travel.

我用VPN主要是因为我的personal email 是GMail,还有我有时会听YT/YT Music上面的歌。下面是谷歌中文翻译。

======

这篇文章也可以在 Medium 上阅读。但这篇博文包含所有最新信息,而 medium.com 上的文章则没有定期更新。

中文有时称为“科学上网”,或者叫梯子:可能是从“翻墙”那里衍生出来的。

Mac:

VPN Prime – 无限代理 4+

更新于 2025 年 6 月初,免费套餐似乎在我最近的一次 CHN 之旅中停止了工作。

更新于 2025 年 6 月 12 日:我购买了付费套餐,现在可以使用了(我又找到了一个可以正常工作的服务器)。我考虑从下面的 iOS 应用切换到这个 Mac 应用来满足我的 VPN 需求。

更新于 2025 年 6 月 13 日:有时连接会被重置并丢失。在这种情况下,我尝试连接到其他服务器,通常情况下可以正常工作。

iPhone、iPad

VPN – 超级无限代理 4+(更新至 2025 年 6 月,它仍然有效,我现在有付费订阅,我知道并非所有服务器都能正常工作,而且我现在有我最喜欢的服务器了。如果你想知道,请给我发邮件

更新于 2015 年 6 月 12 日:我注意到这个应用程序并不总是完美无缺。至少在我住过的两家酒店,它不如酒店的 WiFi 好用。我不知道这个应用程序的具体工作原理,但在连接过程中,它似乎会断开 WiFi 并使用蜂窝数据,这会导致连接问题。

(原文)注意:这两个应用程序都有免费版本,并且都有可购买的附加组件。我在旅途中验证了它们,它们大部分时间都可以正常工作,iPhone 应用程序有时需要尝试几次才能启动。Mac 应用程序大多数时候开箱即用。

手机国际漫游

我知道 T-mobile 以前有这个功能。Mint Mobile 也有国际漫游通行证:1 天、3 天和10天。该设备可以像VPN一样连接到外部网络。用户可能需要检查当前的手机运营商,看看是否有这样的程序或通行证。

手机漫游有其自身的优势,例如,我们可以订餐或叫车,因为这些应用程序通常在智能手机上可用,并且通常需要网络连接。但在中国,理想情况下,用户可能需要获取一个本地电话号码,因为美团和滴滴出行等应用程序需要这些号码。

其他用例:

Netflix(其他国家的节目等)

一些组织有时会屏蔽某些社交媒体网站:这种情况在西方国家也可能发生。

其他软件

Nord VPN:付费。在中国使用需要一些时间。似乎所有默认服务器都被屏蔽了。不得不提交工单获取备用服务器名称(IP地址等),反复尝试,最终在2023年成功恢复。在最近的一次旅行中(夏季)也获取了一份列表。 2024),我还没试过,因为我觉得上面两个方案已经够用了。

Nord VPN 在美国默认设置下可以正常工作。上面两个应用的免费版本也一样。

(更新于 2025 年 3 月 1 日)我之前发现了这个 bug,问题出在当我的手机连接移动数据网络(而非 Wi-Fi)时,如果在切换之前 VPN 是通过 Wi-Fi 开启的,Nord VPN 似乎很难连接到 VPN。我花了一段时间才明白为什么我断网了。我现在正在放弃这个应用(和软件),不仅仅是因为这个。这只是另一个让我恼火的问题或 bug。我注意到它在公立 K-12 学校的公共 Wi-Fi 上无法开箱即用——不得不使用 VPN——Super Unlimited Proxy 4+(免费版:等我的 Nord VPN 订阅到期后,我可能会考虑支持他们)。

(原帖)Open VPN(我在自己的 $DGCN 上设置了它)服务器),但在我2023年的中国之行中,它失效了。那次旅行我也买了Nord VPN。如果你想了解更多关于OpenVPN的信息,或者搭建你自己的OpenVPN服务器(注意,它在中国的GFW之外仍然可以使用),请参阅这篇中文文章。

Categories
advice and tips Edu-and-Ladue-School kids Life Life Tips

It’s a pleasure to be your cool dad

Reading Time: 3 minutes

Note: I also published this to Medium, and the friend link is here.

Our younger daughter turned to 10 the day before yesterday. And our older daughter is about 4 years older, so basically I have been a dad for a bit over 14 years.

Being dad is not an easy job. Last few years are getting a bit more challenging, as my older one is becoming a teenager, and also with pandemic, we were worried about the lack of social activities etc. Below is some of my observations and thoughts on the topic of “raising kids”, which is my main task or job at this stage of my life. In theory I can do auto pilot too, but I am just not that kind of cool or laid back dad. I was trying to stay away from the other extreme as well: aka the micro-management, or sometimes people call the practice “helicopter parenting”. I am by no means perfect, and I had my setbacks and failures in many aspects, from big to small. I recall in my recent trip to China, we met a dad, and he said he never missed or be late for the morning drop-off for his son (that’s 7 years of no late or tardiness).

I do believe he is a quite dedicated and meticulous dad, for me I tried but I think I failed here and there in terms pickup. Quite a few times: my 14 year old would text – dad, where are you? I would answer: 5 minutes away. And honestly sometimes I don’t know whether it’d going to be 5 or 10 minutes. But for the most part, my 14 year old still thinks I am a cool dad. And sometimes if I am not cool, she would say: chill 🙂

Adolescent / adolescence:

I have some reflections here on this topic, see below

Ankle Injury And Recovery – 从哪里摔倒就从哪里爬起来

Move Families And Kids To Better School Community

My Zhenhai Middle School Days我在镇海中学的日子

PS, corresponding to this Zhenhai Middle School; 镇海中学) piece above: I felt this summer our 14 year old seriously got into the math self-study. She wanted to do the math acceleration even since she got this idea from her 8th grade math teacher, and she was working hard on it since our summer 2024 China trip). From my perspective, I have zero complaints, and the main thing I need to remind her is “don’t sit in your room” for too long, go out and stretch, and “get some sleep” 🙂

(Update 08-09-2024 am) In terms of self motivation, and learn math on her own, I felt our 14 year old is at “friction point of the clutch“. But this morning, the hell broke loose. I think at about 6:10 or 6:20 am, I got up and heard my 14 year old sobbing. I didn’t go and ask why (as I know that alone may make things worse). Turns out she was studying for the math acceleration, and she planned to go to bed at 12 am last night, and again to get up at 2 am and study – except she didn’t woke up to the alarm. She slept through. I know she really could get some more sleep in last month, because she is exhausted studying math most of this time. I went out and was going to walk/jog in the neighborhood – but I had my 2nd thoughts and quickly came back home and went to Bread Co. and get some breakfast. A while later, I asked our 10 year old – did big sis wake you up early morning? Our younger daughter replied: yes, at 6:52 am, because I looked at the clock 🙂

So there is our 14 year old’s growing pain. Not to mention I dropped her off the high school (for test), and came back getting banana/water for her 🙁

I am not complaining actually – I think in terms of I enjoy what I am doing, if I compare myself to an empty nester: a lot of my high school or college mates are empty nester now, because I had my 14 year old when I was 39. But one day if I get lucky enough to be an empty nester, I would try to be happy too – just need to find something meaningful or interesting to fill my day.

(Update 08-09-2024 pm) So our 14 year old didn’t pass the day 2 session of the math acceleration (Advanced Geometry). But I am glad she is not giving up. She said: I am going to get the Algebra 2 book and study this year (aiming for a similar acceleration next summer). We just ordered the used book at eBay.

Each kid is different

What a novel concept or idea. Of course we know everyone is different, and child is no different. But at the same time, may I ask: don’t we used to do things like: for a guy (or a girl) with hammer, everything is a nail. No? Congrats that you already do much better than many other parents.

Categories
China Life Life Tips Travel

Some random thoughts during my recent China trip – 我2024年夏天中国行的一些观察

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This article is also available on Medium, and blog.wenxuecity.com

航空公司

发现加航🇨🇦的loyalty member (Aeroplan)在飞机上用微信,手机短信等是免费的。不用花钱或点数买inflight WiFi:感觉又赚了一个亿[捂脸]。航空公司其实很难赚钱:成本在那里,固定成本和浮动成本等。但是另一方面愿意额外付钱的客户不多:比如说inflight WiFi, 比如说duty free product sale等等。股神巴菲特也说过类似的话:我估计他老人家在上回pandemic 那次卖了航空股以后就不会再玩航空公司的股票债券了:他老人家今年有93或94岁了。|| 我个人觉得纯从商业的角度出发,信用卡公司的商业模型business model 比航空公司好太多:她们基本上就是高速公路和谷歌的收买路钱的方法。不过在中国大陆感觉支付宝和微信支付基本上打遍天下无敌手,Visa 和万事达两大巨头基本上可以洗洗睡了。前两者的对商家来说成本比信用卡低太多。Alipay 和WeChat Pay 在香港也很拼,有不少商家也开始接受人民币的微信支付/支付宝。不过香港的payment 有点复杂:感觉基本上是八达通Octopus, 信用卡💳包括digital wallet Apple Pay, Samsung Pay, Alipay, WeChat pay等;还有出租车也就是的士🚕和地铁🚇需要的港币现钞。我用CS debit card 直接在银行的ATM机上取了些港币现钞。感觉在大陆用现钞的地方比香港少很多,基本上微信和支付宝都可以搞定。|| 离港上飞机之前有个小插曲,紧张程度有点类似于我上次工作中play as tech lead for production release:中间也出了点不大不小的问题,好在最后在超级队友的支持下,有惊无险。我感觉自己还是在这些大大小小的事情中,不断学习,提高自己[微笑]

中国好还是美国好

我被问到的一个常见的问题是:中国好还是美国好?我觉得各有千秋吧。比如说火车:美国的火车客运还停留在中国的绿皮车年代,中国的高铁确实挺牛。Amtrak 没有固定位置: no assigned seat 💺 on Amtrak – reminded me of southwest air the $luv stock ticker. 但同时,有一次当我看到拉莫多人在站台上抽烟🚬,甚至有人把烟头往轨道上仍的时候,我很无语。这次我在一些高铁火车站看到有标语提醒大家不要往轨道上扔烟头。还有比如酒驾开车违章等:感觉国内比美国抓得严一些。酒驾确实应该抓。违章,比如说摄像头直接寄罚单,扣分等,这样的事多年前我碰到过两回:olive / 270 上装了自动摄像头,有一年我不小心闯了两次,一个方向一次,一次罚款一百刀,不涨分(相当于国内扣分)。One year later: 我发现有一张20刀的支票,原来是因为这个自动照相并罚款的机器被人告了,我所在的城市承认错误,拆除了这些东东,并赔款。香港大概是中西文化交汇的一个地方了。我个人感觉不错:前面也遇到了。上海也还可以。美国也不是铁板一块:在从芝加哥机场到芝加哥火车站的顺风车上跟司机聊了聊,他是在约旦出生,英国留学,在那里碰到他的老婆美国人,后来就来到美国。他讲到上个礼拜他开Uber的轶事。跟我介绍了一下约旦。

香港一日游 (下面的图我还没有贴)

7/12 游香港岛的最高点太平山Victoria Peak (我们是坐tram 上去的,起点在香港公园/中环附近)。我们没有额外加钱上到图五/六的那个顶。我们感叹在香港这个寸土寸金的地方,还有个清净的山和山路供老百姓走走,真不错。山顶有咖啡店,饭店,和购买旅游纪念品的商场,邮局等等。|| 圣路易斯附近没有什么大山,如果想就近走走,我个人觉得 laumeier sculpture park, powder valley 和Creve coeur lake 旁边的bootleg trails 都还不错。图七,八是此次行程我们在港岛住的旅馆。两个旅馆都不错,北角north point 的凯悦中萃虽然离维多利亚港湾有两公里,但是她的位置还是非常方便,傍边有非常多吃饭的地方,有港铁和city bus. 最后一张screenshot 是此次旅程我用到的一些app。从机场到北角来回打了大名鼎鼎的香港🇭🇰红色的士(都是丰田的,大部分人较老,少部分较新),需要港币现金。我用我的CS debit card 在机场和中环的银行取款机上取了点:这个卡不额外收手续费,没有foreign transaction fee.

Categories
China Life

Hometown is always special

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This is the last night before leaving mainland CHN for this trip, I am listening to 浙江之声 (浙江之声 via 蜻蜓FM) this time (last year march 2023 it was Love Radio 103.7 FM in Shanghai). I could not fall into sleep 💤. I am going to listening to it more via 蜻蜓FM once I get back to my current home by the Mississippi River.

In last few years as my time spent in the US gradually approaching and exceeding my time lived in China, I almost treat STL as my home. But now I realized childhood home (hometown) has a special place in my heart. Probably for many other people too – especially for those left their hometown after college. For me it’s a bit more – I left the country I grew up.

不少江浙人有较浓的家乡情节。我记得我去武汉上大学的时候,第一次离家这么远,有浙江同乡会办中秋晚会,主持人说到”吴山清越水秀的故乡”,我差点掉了眼泪。在学校的路上走,偶尔能碰到江浙沪的老师,从她/他们的口音和方言里可以听出来,会觉得很亲切。因为大多数时候听到的是普通话和武汉话。

Somewhat related

心安即是归处 (google search): 心安即是归处,意思是让人不必强求,不必攀比,一切顺其自然,做真实的自己。 我们不必为人生的不完美而感到遗憾。 法学教授罗翔在给学生讲解正义与良善时,曾用圆圈做过一个生动的比喻:客观上理想的圆是存在的,可人类无论借助任何精密的仪器,都无法画出自然界中完美的圆。 我们对完美虽不能至,却心向往之。

For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also.

One usually remember mom’s (or dad’s, or other guardian’s) favorite cooking. I remember my mom’s cooking as well as my uncle (my mom’s brother)’s cooking too.

醋溜带鱼羹 is one dish they made and I enjoyed.

PS: (08-04-2024)

Something came to my mind this morning when I was at a group exercise class at the J. Why mothers are always special. I think most people will say mom reminds them of the hometown. On the opposite, when people start to curse at each other, there is a very common one, son of the bit*h: in Chinese *子养的,why? Because I think by talking down the other person’s mom, deep in mind, the aggressor probably get a sense of the other person is not worthy. I think those are also likely the rationale behind:

谁不说俺家乡好 (Wikipedia, YouTube)

子不嫌母丑,狗不嫌家贫 (ximalaya)