Category: Life

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Life Life Tips

人到中年要注意的事

Reading Time: 2 minutes

Things to pay attention when we are over 50

(I borrowed this paragraph from a high school classmate in mailand CHN) 我来说几句吧，不妥之处请大家指正：1. 一定要有医保，有能力的可以适当配点商业保险 2. 同学们都巳年过半百了，各种慢性病会慢慢出来，应该学习一点医学常识。个人建议关注以下几个（微信）公众号： 丁香医生/ 菠萝因子/ 营养师顾中一

Below is my own cooking

Exercise 锻炼身体：running, jogging, and walking 跑步，慢跑，走路 are all good. Many other good cardiovascular exercise 心血管运动 include cycling, swimming, and tennis. Take your pick. 饭后百步走，活到九十九。Aerobic exercise 柔韧性锻炼也不错，如瑜伽，普拉提等。跑步前后注意拉伸。

至少要有大病保险；buy health insurance, as a minimum one should have the catastrophe health insurance: meaning the insurance that covers conditions such as cancer. This is needed for most people; I mean the people who doesn’t have 100 million dollars or more – who, btw, may be able to self-insure. Even in that case, one should find an administrator (basically a company that acts as middleman between you and the providers).

Colon cancer screen

聆听自己身体的声音，每年体检，看情况做一个肠镜；see your doctor and get the colonoscopy every 5 or 10 years. Below is example of people who got colon cancer and found out late.

Indianapolis TV Anchor Tanya Spencer Dead at 53: Her Final Social Media Post Issued an Important Reminder

I’m a 34-Year-Old With Colorectal Cancer. Here Are the Early Signs I Wish I Hadn’t Ignored (btw, an alarming trend is colon cancer patient get younger, as you can see from this google search)

Guys:

prostate and bladder (urologist);

Ladies: mammogram, breast cancer ♋️

好汉不提当年勇，包括开车

2000年夏天我和朋友一起轮换开车从圣路易斯到黄石，总共大概24小时，没住旅馆，累了就在加油站打个盹。08年开同样的山路感觉就有点怕，19年类似的山路更是不大敢开。

We are no longer in our 20s or 30s, this includes everything from drink, driving to eating. Pay attention to what we drink or eat. I found out I can no longer drive the mountain roads as confident as before – which is okay. I just need to be careful and mindful. If I cannot do it, I don’t do it.

饮食

我们这个年纪自己还是有可能调节的：饮食，少喝酒，少糖，多蔬菜🥬水果，包括有纤维的蔬菜水果🍉，我个人感觉酸奶也不错。还有睡眠，运动等。

Also, refer to What’s For Dinner? 晚饭吃什么 – A Series On What We Eat And Its Impact On Our Bodies – I

睡眠

我一般心里有事，就会影响睡眠。我的办法一般是白天多锻炼；实在睡不着就听收音机，尽量避免手机，电脑等。

Shingles vaccine 带状疱疹疫苗 (CDC, CDC PDF; Mayo Clinic).

(05-26-2024) I went ahead and decided to get the vaccine at local Walgreens. Today 05-27-2024 I felt a bit drowsy, tired and a touch of fever (I googled the shingle vaccine side effect too). Note this is not as bad as the Moderna Covid-9 vaccine I took about 3 years ago. (05-27-2024 evening) I jumped to conclusion too quickly, it ooks like my fever is not trivial (about 101F). More on side effects on CDC website.

Also, note the vaccine is 2 shots, and I will likely get the 2nd shot 2 months from today.

More information on shingles (Mayo Clinic); 带状疱疹 (妙佑医疗)

(Update 10-21-2024) I did 2nd shot yesterday afternoon. Today I felt not well again. Some fever etc. Hope I can recover tomorrow. The nurse at Walgreens did mention the side effect after 2nd shot is usually worse than the 1st shot.

Will:

Make a will. If kids are old enough, involve them in the process (learned this from Warren Buffett).

不折腾或少折腾 包括工作不要太拼(don’t work long hours without break, and do it for a long duration)。

PS: many of the things mentioned above are important when one is young too. But better late than never.

Categories
gadgets Life Life Tips

Mowing the lawn and lawn mower 割草和割草机

Reading Time: < 1 minute

在2019年之前，我大概有二十年没有割草了。从1998年一月到1999年七月，我住在罗拉的美国大学生的兄弟会(Wikipedia fraternity; interestingly I joined the Delta Tau Delta fraternity (Epsilon Nu chapter) which is shown in the image when you do google search). 我在兄弟会的时候割过几次草。兄弟会有duty, 翻译成中文大概是值日值班的意思，我的任务里有不少是洗碗，偶尔也有割草。兄弟会是汽油的传统割草机：会有汽油的味道。印象最深的一次是大概是98年的夏天，兄弟会后面有较大的草地，我们一开始没有割草，后来发现有（不太友好的）邻居把我们举报了。马路对面的美国邻居是较友好的，我印像中他叫Bob May, 他告诉我们这个事。后来我们兄弟会有能力的美国小兄弟，去租了一个可以坐上去的割草机，把后面的草给割了。

Google search fraternity screenshot (partial)：这个正好是我的兄弟会 Delta Tau Delta Epsilon Nu

我2000年十月份来圣路易斯以后，一直住公寓和康斗(Condo, 相当于买下来的公寓), 就不用担心割草的事。一直到19年夏天，搬到现在的独门独户的房子。

我一开始在亚马逊上买了这个 Greenworks 40V 16″ Cordless (Push) Lawn Mower，用了几年，效果还可以。一直到去年（2023年）春夏天，第一次割草时感觉很卡，割两下就熄火Shutdown. 我想两百多块的钱，用了快四年，也值了本了。正好在Costco 看到这个马力大的 Greenworks 80V 21″ Gen 2 Self-Propelled Mower, 还打折，就跳了。事后想想，打折的东西要稍加小心，也许有坑。

后来发现确实有坑：这个割草机的好处是马力大，也有自推的功能。她的缺点是一个电池基本上是坏的，还有她在草较长的时候也同样熄火。最近我联系了厂家，换了个电池。但是总的来说，她家说充满电一次可以割 0.75 acre 是达不到的。我家的院子大概是 0.28 acre, 冲满电也不能一次割完。这也让我联想到买第一个电动割草机的时候，亚马逊上有一个美国老太太的留言，她说一次割不完也挺好，人也正好可以休息一下。

我现在两个割草机都用。电池都充好电，一个没电了，换另外一个。最近发现割草的一个好处，就是可以消耗我的体力，这样某种程度上有点像跑步，可以帮助我的睡眠。

PS: 在圣村，有时候太阳很厉害，如果自己在外面割草的话，记得要涂防嗮霜。

PS 2: 如果自己不想割草的话，其实有很多专业的 landscaping 或是割草的公司，大大小小的都有。我估计，一般用邻居用的割草公司，价格一般不会太贵（我住的区是一个平民的社区，如果是富豪区就另当别论）。

我自己估计我家一次可能四五十块钱。好算一点，一次五十块，夏天两星期割一次，圣村夏天大概可以算四个月，17个礼拜，我们就算割8次，$50×8=$400, 夏天就要四百块。春秋也得割草，算一个月割一次，一共算五次：$50×5=$250, 一共是二百五，总共一年割草是$650, 或是七百块钱。

我上面的两个割草机，一个是两百多（19年），一个是四五百（24年买的，请注意我上面提到的缺点，最好读一下用户的评价，我觉得有些评价说的很客观），两个估计都还可以用上一段时间。电费我没算，我自己的时间也没算。但是需要考虑自己锻炼身体的好处-这个是用金钱难以衡量的。

Categories
advice and tips Life Life Tips

人到中老年少折腾

Reading Time: < 1 minute

好像有个说法，人生在于折腾。

Zhihu: 人生的意义在于折腾

晚读 | 人生在于折腾，而不是年纪轻轻趋于平静 (新黄河 via qq.com)

我想对年轻人来说，这个基本上是适用的。比如说前几年流行的创业，我们年轻时（大学毕业时，九十年代初）去南方，广东，深圳等。With some exceptions, of course. The main thing is we all need to listen to our body – doesn’t matter whether one is young or old.

We want to avoid things like below

Another death at BoA (X)?

A 25-year-old Bank of America credit trader died suddenly at an industry event on Thursday night

不单是万恶的资本主义才有这种现象。I heard about similar cases such as

拼多多员工猝死 (Baidu)

拼多多年轻员工“996”加班后猝死 官方账号“冷血”回复引发众怒: BBC

我妻之死 || 华裔丈夫悼念长文《我妻之死》引争议！把妻子当工具人，又一个林生斌？！

从国内搬运来妻子后，《我妻之死》的翻版

6月2日，浙江台州，在黄岩布袋山石人峡景区发生-起悲剧事件。一支来自宁波的户外探险小队，因涉水过横切面，结果发生悲剧，有两人不幸被冲走，至今下落不明。有后续成员拍下了事故发生的全过程，我来分析他们到底犯了哪些错，才导致付出了生命代价，以此供大家警醒。

Andrew McAuley (Wikipedia, Twitter/X): quote wikipedia – Andrew McAuley (born 7 August 1968; presumed dead 9–12 February 2007) was an Australian mountaineer and sea kayaker. He is presumed to have died following his disappearance at sea while attempting to kayak 1600 km (994 mi) across the Tasman Sea from Australia to New Zealand in February 2007.

身边的例子

我想到我的一个老乡，比我大几岁，大学毕业后，当时闯深圳可能比较流行，他也去了。后来没多久，他得了不轻的病，回到老家休养了。现在应该有三十多年了。也不知道现在他的情况-他是我大哥的同学，也是镇海中学高中毕业的。

其实更早些，我有表哥表姐上山下乡，有去黑龙江，新疆，云南，贵州。她们大我十几岁，二十岁。后来她/他们都回老家上海了。

我自己97年香港回归那一年夏天来的美国中西部，一晃就有快27年。前两天看油管，有一对华人夫妻，也是大陆过来的，油管上的网红北美天马行：频道名是英文 BestYears2BestPlaces. 大意是在走不动之前到处走走-这个想法本身没问题。下面是她们频道的介绍。

“北美求学, 毕业, 工作, 安家，养娃养房养花种草, 生活像陀螺 … 突然因为疫情蹲家工作，带你一起分享我们在北美的生活，旅行，旅居，和考察退休地。
*** 原创不易，谢谢您的关注和鼓励! ***
联系：一个 gmail 的邮箱“

折腾

我看了一下她们的频道，主要还是关于旅行，养老，房子等等。看她们经济上基本上是自由的。她们也讲到断舍离，和搬家等带来的emotional drain.

油管是个无底洞。后来我看到，有关于哥斯达黎加，和马拉西亚移民的视频。后者（马来西亚留学移民）的视频非常多，因为天气方面两个地方都不错（不冷，年纪大的人一般怕冷），马来西亚在地理位置，饮食，文化等方面更有优势。

说到折腾，让我想到我的一个表姐，就是我上面说的情况里的一个。她当年回城其实是跟当时在乡下的情人被迫分手的，因为男朋友不是上海人。这种情况当时应该不少。但是我的感觉也是留下一个后遗症。多年以后，她的老公已去世，小孩结婚后关系也不好。最近我听我爸爸说，她开始了网恋，其实就是应该是单恋抖音上一个类似秀才，闻神这样的人。我爸爸很不以为然。

最近我高中同学独自驾车去西藏旅游，结果高原反应，现在还没出院。后来大家才知道，他的身体其实不太好。我可以理解他想去驾车独行，但是不管怎样身体是革命的本钱。

我后来想，有可能我的同学看抖音或微信短视频多看了一些219国道怎么好玩。这类的视频一般容易一边倒，主要是抓眼球和流量，不会讲究质量，科学，严谨等等。

不折腾

其实很重要。我记得，大概二十年之前，因为我的个人工作生活不是太顺，我想过要不要去读一个 Master of Financial Engineering, 然后跟我在罗拉时的师弟那样，去华尔街做几年。我好像当时申请了纽约的哥伦比亚大学。她家没要我。某种程度上，我觉得是庆幸的。

(05-19-2024) Now I think about it, both (late) Charlie Munger and Warren Buffett stayed in their respective houses for many decades. Once Charlie joked, if people offered money to move across the street, he would not do it (the context is a question came up re: some rich people in California moved to Texas to avoid high tax).

Last but not least, I like to share something I heard – “We don’t know if we will die from overworking but why take chance” – probably said by Ronald Reagan (per Charlie Munger or Warren Buffett). Btw, I ran at Olivette this beautiful Sunday morning.

Categories
kids Life Life Tips

I am exhausted, but I will soldier on

Reading Time: 3 minutes

Dealing with my 14 y old: the new retainer got lost in a week. See: I was smart that I bought the “retainer insurance” 🙂 If the opportunity arises, I would buy the “iPhone insurance” too (remember why I bought iPhone 15 : long story short, she accidentally broke her iPhone XR (which was passed on from me), and I decided to buy iPhone 15 so that I can give my iPhone 12 to her.

And before that, she lost her wallet at the J (due to theft).

So we have 2 accidents and one theft (in which she is victim, but still as my wife says, you don’t want to be careless so that the thief would notice you 🙂

Again maybe I could always use more patience: in life, in investing and at work.

Why, why, why is her so sloppy in terms of keep track of her things?

I can think of one reason, which is coming back right to us – we babied her too much, reminded her consistently (sometimes a bit excessive), which made her rely on our reminders to some extent. This is definitely not healthy. Here is one article on the topic – How to get your kid to do stuff without having to constantly remind them

Another reason is probably because there is no real consequences for her on those kinds of things. Imagine if I “broke something like iPhone”, there is no iPhone then, let’s just say that I lost a radio, or a cassette player (a Walkman). It won’t be trivial let me guarantee that. Even if my parents didn’t say anything: I would feel bad. In college now I recall I did have a few accidents: including once someone broke my drawer and stole my money there – remember the loss from theft story I talked above. Even today I still suspected someone in my dorm room or someone has the connection stole my money (they probably knew I received money shortly before that). Once in a bus in Wu’chang, I realized my wallet got stolen by a pocket picker.

I guess that’s one hard part of parenting. But I think I would still trade “being my daughters’ Uber driver” any day (see the paragraph below), over true retirement which means I probably need to find something productive to do if I am still healthy.

昨天基本上就是半退的状态-我告诉我老大我大概为她的事跑了两个半小时-为她的retainer开车到new and cool St. Peter’s orthodontist 🦷 office 两次（2 round trips, drop off mold 1st, then pick up when the new retainer is ready); 放学到学校接她(got “dad, can you pick me up” text when I was taking a walk to Warson park). Yes sure 🙂

PS: I talked about “soldier on” mentality to my 14 year old and she thinks it’s too much. She basically her generation doesn’t care. My sense is she felt that is “out of date” concept. After all, until fairly recently she never ate anything from White Castle (they have very cheap food). I guess many of her friends are privileged like her too. I heard some people spending tons of money on Bar and bat mitzvah: one of my Jewish friend told me some rich people spent wedding like money on the adulthood ceremony. She was invited to one last year and it seems pretty good too. This is quite different from my middle school days. Too bad she still has to work on similar math homework I do in my days 🙂

关于Soldier On, 我的理解很大程度上是“坚持”：我记得高中一年级，有一次运动会，跑四百米，我知道我有可能拿道第三名，最后一百米使出吃奶的力气，紧紧跟住第三名，后来我是第四。我的一个同学后来跟我说：其实他（第三名）也是害怕你一直跟着他。我觉得现在美国的很多问题其实也是因为缺少坚持，努力和毅力。

And if/when I tried to tell her or remind her to be more careful (maybe once to 3 times at the most), she would say: dad, basically you are telling me things I already know. So, here am I, the middle age guy who tends to repeat himself 啰嗦或是爱唠叨的老头。

I think she may be more talented or intelligent than me, but without that grit I am not 100% sure that she will be successful. A related phenomena is I saw very few Americans want/like to do physical labor nowadays: by that I mean things such as construction work, mining etc. For example, we saw all the contruction workers in the Baltimore Bridge accident are immigrants – An international tragedy: A father of 3 and a budding entrepreneur are among 6 victims of the Baltimore bridge collapse. The irony part is those workers were trying to fix the potholes in the highway (on the bridge) that many commuters and 18 wheelers use daily – assume mostly are the wear and tear.

Or maybe this is so called generation gap 代沟？After all, once she said: I don’t think there is any ethical billionaire. I guess her definition of “ethical” has higher standards than most. Then she added: Taylor Swift included too. That’s my girl: at least she is thinking and has her own opinion.

Categories
Life Life Tips

Stay at Hotels in China 回国住旅馆

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I am used to stay at hotels when I visited Shanghai, from the Home Inn or the like back in the days, to more fancier or western brand hotels, now that I have a family and kids.

I never thought that I would stay in hotels when I go home and see my parents. But that happened in year 2016.

我们大概是傍晚🌆 到的我父母的家：两卧室的老公寓。我当时根本没有想到要去住旅馆🏨。但是吃了晚饭后，我很快就意识到住在我父母家不现实。因为我看到另外一个房间的床上都放满了东西。

我们就出去找旅馆。先找了一个类似招待所一样的地方，交了押金等，后来很快就意识到房间的味道（发霉的味道？）太大，就损失了一百块的押金，住到了对面的稍好一点的旅馆。过了几天，找到了南苑旅馆(这家是连锁的，还可以），就又搬到那里，一直住到去其它城市我的岳父家。在我岳父家我们也住的是旅馆（招待所）。

最近三次回国（2017，2019，和2023年），我就住这一个（17年开的）。中文名字叫宁波北仑世茂希尔顿逸林酒店。今年夏天回国基本上定下来还是住这一家。这一家(DoubleTree)不包早餐*：她家有自助餐，还可以，大概一百多块钱。附近有肯德基，兰州拉/牛肉面，还有一个宁波还是台州的连锁的豆浆，肉包子等传统中式早餐。还有星巴克等。所以不用天天吃旅馆里的自助餐。旅馆傍边就是富邦世纪广场，地铁长江路站，银泰城也不远。我个人比较喜欢银泰城里的西贝莜面村。拿了也有外婆桥等本帮/宁波本地菜。

*美国的Double Tree Hotel 也不包早餐。Hotel chains that provide free breakfast (usually buffet style) include: Hampton Inn (by Hilton), Hilton Garden Inn, Hyatt Place/ Hyatt House and Residence Inn (Marriott). This is not a complete list. I know in addition to Double Tree, Marriott’s Courtyard doesn’t have free breakfast either.

Aging Parents 上了年纪的父母

这个方面的问题我以前没怎么想到。就是父母上了年纪以后可能会更“粘人”。下面是两篇英文的相关文章。

Strategies for Dealing With a “Clingy” Senior

How to Handle Emotionally Needy Parents

现代医学有很多进步，手机微信等现代科技也带来很多方便，同时也带来不少问题。我想对老年人也适用。微信是中国最流行的手机应用之一。我爸爸会用智能手机，但是他把家庭群当成了网上的某些论坛，骂人。还不如我妈妈不会用手机。说到我妈妈不会用手机，还有个故事。疫情前，她在老年大学，拿出来老年手机（就是只能打点话，发短信的手机），有人就说，都这个年代了，你怎么还用老年手机。原来她们班也是有微信群。后来，大概是16年回国那一次，我有个就是帮她在手机上弄好微信。

Categories
advice and tips Life Life Tips

Colonoscopy 肠镜

Reading Time: 5 minutes
Colyte Jug – mine is similar – prepping for the liquids and drinking it is quite some work (the day before)

Colonoscopy is a routine exam recommended by doctors for adults over 50 in the USA: as a precaution checkup for the signs of colon cancer. 在美国一般医生会建议50岁以上的人去做一次肠镜，以检查是否有肠癌的迹象。I heard colon caner is among the top two cancer in the US. I did mine at Mercy St. Louis – it’s the hospital both my girls were born and I also worked for Mercy in the IT department for about 18 months between Nov 2013 and May 2015.

It takes some efforts and courage to take the exam. First some Overview by Mayo Clinic. Also, it’s not the only way to detect colon cancer. There are 2 ways. Both have pros and cons. I did this Fecal occult blood test about 13 or 14 months ago, partially because it’s less invasive, and partially because my doctor then is also a bit soft spoken, and he agreed. This time I am not this lucky. I got a new doctor and when I mentioned testing for colon cancer, and he directly chose the colonoscopy.

Prep

The doctor performs colonoscopy will usually provide the prep instructions. Alternatively, because this is a quite common procedure, there are lots of resources online: I shared some below. One common question is the low fiber food before and after (see below), also the liquids to drink the day before, as well as the special medicine (liquids) to drink about 12 to 15 hours before the procedure.

Day -3 and Day -2

Low-fiber diet do’s and don’ts – Mayo Clinic || Also note Mayo Clinic and Kaiser Permanente are both highly reputed hospital chains in the USA.

Day -1

Clear-Liquid Diet for Colonoscopy Preparation | Kaiser Permanente 

I did drink some chicken broth (sold at Costco): I drunk a few cups. I added a bit salt to the broth and microwaved it. I also drunk coffee and sprite that day, because I need to start the Colyte liquid (prescribed medicine, power mixed with water, see below) at about 3 pm my time (due to my schedule). I took a break between 6 to 8 pm, and resumed it until about 11:30 pm to consume about 3 L (or 2.75 L to be precise). I finished the rest in the early morning before procedure.

– Very important: You may not eat any solid food or drink alcohol for 2 days! In the morning on day 1 of your prep (2 days before your colonoscopy), fill 1 jug of Colyte as written on the jug and place in the refrigerator.

The Day

Today I went. The results are out and they seemed good.

Btw, the GI lab at Mercy seems quite busy, and they are a few steps and a few things to keep in mind (or tips, if I may).

They have a sign says don’t bring any valuables. I understand where they come from, but if you think you like to read on phone, I say bring it (I didn’t bring, and was somewhat bored during my about 45 minutes wait in the waiting room/bed). Don’t take any picture or videos due to privacy concerns.

I noticed I may not be the youngest in the patients group. Obviously they are people who are a bit older. And they seems to be people who are younger than me as well. I did see a lady brought her phone.

The anesthesia: I believe this is the 1st time I was knocked out completely. The drug is actually is from the needle, rather it’s from the IV infusion (挂盐水/葡萄糖), which I did recently (see this American Healthcare System II – 美国医疗系统之二). Btw, it’s a smaller punch or less pain for me this time, as the nurse put the needle at a spot that’s better, I guess.

Serious matter/Q: do you have a will or living trust?

I got this question asked many times. I actually started this “will” process but my wife didn’t sign. Later I learned Warren Buffett let his wife and kids view the will before official. Probably something I will do too as my 13 (soon to be 14) year old can understand some of that.

This reminds me of a related question – We each have an average of 100 online accounts. Here’s how to make sure they aren’t a nightmare for your family if you die. Btw, my wife and kids know my iPhone passcode, but that’s probably not enough. I told my wife investing in S&P 500 index funds when I die. Hopefully she take notes or registered in her brain. Otherwise she can come to this blog (wait, I probably need to renew the domain as well as pay the hosting fees in advance 🙂

Waiting

Most time seems to have been spent on waiting. Fairly routine procedure. Felt a bit drowsy after being woken up. But I feel I can drive after probably 4 hours of this. Again a smart phone may help, if you have the energy. Or just rest instead of doom scrolling 🙂

The people and humor

“You got another 10,000 miles” (this is actually from nurse at primary care office, after the annual physical)

“Just take a nap” (today’s nurse, referring to the anesthesia).

“What you want to eat after this? (a big meal :-)”

Because usually people were on the “liquids only” food the day before. And no food on that morning. || My answer: I am going back to the low fiber diet as I read it from What to Eat After a Colonoscopy

I think it’s always the people and the humor made the difference.

PS

Why Mercy: in St. Louis area there are a few large hospital chains, in the order of size, they are BJC, Mercy, SSM and St. Luke’s (not to be confused with the Kansas City St. Luke that’s going to merge with BJC), respectively. BJC (and Washington U Physicians) is nationally recognized, and it appears their service sometimes could be a bit expensive than others (not quite scientific, just a recent observation). Mercy is the closest for me, and it also has some unique strength. For example, they were the 1st to using Epic EMR in the region. A while ago I worked at MyMercy patient portal, and now I got to use it as a consumer (customer). Btw, the patient portal is based on MyChart. BJC is also using Epic software now. And both BJC and Shriner Children’s hospital used MyChart. One thing though: each MyChart is standalone, you cannot share credentials between the different hospitals.

Back to the topic, I think the prep part: both physically and mentally is the hardest part. The low-fiber diet, the liquids only diet, and the colyte (too much water to drink in a short duration of time). Then there is this unknown part of “short nap” 🙁

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advice and tips kids Life Life Tips

Ankle injury and recovery – 从哪里摔倒就从哪里爬起来

Reading Time: 3 minutes

I don’t know about you, but I was fairly enthusiastic about sports when I was in the middle school and part of the high school. At one time I thought I should join the Chinese youth soccer team (under 16), which looking back I don’t think that’s possible.

A few months ago I also talked about Tennis 网球. Recently (to be precise on Jan 7 Sunday evening) my old daughter injured her ankle during a tennis clinics session. I only saw her injured after the fact, as I didn’t see her fall on the spot, which is a few minutes towards the end of clinics. So we got the ankle wraps and tapes etc. from the Walgreens. But she still jumps on one leg – because she could not use any force on her injured ankle. The second day was Monday (school day), obviously we cannot go to school under this condition. And because “wait and see”, as well as “my wife’s reluctance go to urgent care” that day, I went ahead and bought Crutches from Walgreens (I posted it on CL recently).

Urgent care and specialists

The following Tuesday we still went to the Total Access Urgent care (TAUC) next to Walgreens at Creve Coeur (cost: $175.00 not too bad). Then it’s following up. I chose and went to the Shriner’s Hospital for that: 2 trips, the cost to us is only $102.13, plus they have magicians on site sometimes. This seems very reasonable. This is much cheaper than the X-ray service fee (more than $400) from BJC for scoliosis (false positive, but nonetheless the checkup/x-ray and followup with specialist (not too bad there).

(Update 03-18-2024) It seems the Shriner’s Hospital changed their billing in the month of February. Since last time I paid them inside MyChart, I received 2 more bills and I paid them online (a new bill pay website, not from MyChart). The total is about $250. Btw, BJC sent one more bill from the doctor who reads the X-ray, it’s not a lot – but overall cost seems high to me.

(Update 03-26-2023) Okay, I think now I understand most bills now. There were 5 bills or 5 payments from my side. Two bills for the X ray which although it says the doctor’s name in the insurance company website’s benefit explanation section. Two bills for the nurse practitioner who looked at S. And one therapist who came for the 2nd visit. The total out of pocket for Shriner’s hospital is about $450 for us.

4 Bills from the Shriner’s hospital, I think I turned off the paper bill in MyChart and one of the paper bill didn’t come

Btw, I am selling a few gentenly used items on eBay to recover some of the costs.

Set of 2 Theraband Resistance Bands – Green and Blue

Ovation Medical Walking Boot Adjustable Support, Black, Size Medium, Adjustable

Walgreens Ankle Support, Antimicrobial, Adjustable One Size Fits All

Below was written on 02-04-2024 从哪里摔倒就从哪里爬起来

Our old daughter back to court after 3 weeks break, at CCRC.

几个礼拜前她的脚踝扭了：现在已恢复。我几个礼拜之前说了买网球鞋的事：大家如打网球，可以参考一下。A side note is our 13 year old got to hang out with her friend in the mall on Saturday. I recall when I was her age: I like to hang out at the bookstore by myself, and also I saved some changes and bought snacks such as 金团 一种糯米做的甜点。美国中西部没有金团，类似的甜点有mochi 应该是从日本来的。Anyway I am quite happy she is back to her normal routine, and also enjoys some “chill time” with her friend.

Adolescence

Our 13 year old is soon going to be 14 year old. And recently she started to pick up her own clothes, and I think some of it (the style) is likely influenced by the TikTok and YT shorts, her friends (again TT and YTS), and some stores such as Aerie (American Eagle).

In contrast, I recall I started to pick my own clothes around similar age.

Performative Society

Other related topics: how hard should parents push adolescent kids on sports, for that matter anything.

I felt we increasingly live in a performative society, thinking applicable to me (or my work) as well. This is a bigger topic and I will come back to it sometime soon, hopefully.

PS: personally I haven’t had hurt my ankle that bad, when I was a teen. I did get my ankle hurt once during a soccer game, in which my teammate accidentally kicked my left ankle (using his dominant foot, right foot), he and I was trying to kick the same soccer ball.

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kids Life

Grace (prayer) before meal and before bed

Reading Time: 2 minutesBelow was started in year 2016, and I just finished it today 12-27-2023

Immanuel Lutheran Olivette Day School

Come lord Jesus, be our guest, let those gifts to us be blessed.

Hope Montessori Academy Creve Coeur

Thank you for this day , thank you for this food, thank you for the friends we have and our families, bona boti, you may eat.

Hope Montessori Infant Toddler Community (Creve Coeur)

Look around you will see a friend, a family, we are brothers and sisters too.

======

(I forgot the exact grace before dinner at Fraternity. I recall there may be something about brotherhood. If I look carefully enough, it may be in some of the materials I still have)

======

Serenity Prayer

Oh, God, give us courage to change what must be altered, serenity to accept what can not be helped, and insight to know the one from the other.

Lord’s Prayer

Our Father, which art in heaven,
Hallowed be thy Name;
Thy kingdom come;
Thy will be done
in earth, as it is in heaven:
Give us this day our daily bread;
And forgive us our trespasses,
as we forgive them that trespass against us;
And lead us not into temptation,
But deliver us from evil;
For thine is the kingdom,
the power, and the glory,
For ever and ever.
Amen.

I came across this prayer on a Sunday at a friend’s friend’s house: baby shower (Nov 2013). I was just told by my recruiter that my contractor position would end in 2 weeks on the Friday evening prior. And I suspect someone at the company I worked at, may have said bad things about me then. I don’t have proof, just suspicion. Now I think it’s more a business decision, change of direction basically. The prayer made a difference on how I feel about the situation, or at least how I wanted to approach the things.

I got a job offer a few days later 🙂

Prayer before bed

Probably not as common as the prayer before the meals. But when our older daughter was younger, I usually say a few prayers before she goes to bed. A few years ago, she would say “love” to everyone before going to sleep. Now our younger one does the same.

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Chinese articles Life

How I went to the HUST 我为什么去了华中理工大学

Reading Time: < 1 minute

(Update 09-20-2025) English version is on YT – My colleague and engineering career journey

Below is original in Chinese, written in 12-20-2023

I got this key chain from HUST probably in year 1996 or year 1993

现在叫华中科技大学（没有对钢铁学院*不敬的意思：但是在我心里我的母校一直是华中理工大学，或是华中工学院）。大家有时候自己开玩笑叫关山口技校。因为最早的时候学校的站名是关山口。我估计现在那里不只一个车站了。

我是1989年上的大学。我从小在浙江农村长大，能否考上大学对我来说是个很大的事（俗话说的跳出农门）。我的老大现在十三岁，我告诉她，如果我考不上大学，我就只能做农民。她在美国出生长大，当然没法完全理解我说的做农民的意思。

我在高三的时候理想的大学SJTU是在上海。但是那一年高考我没有完全发挥出我的水平，再加上那年春夏之间北京发生的事，我有不少同学和她们的家长希望小孩去上海。所以虽然我的第一志愿还是上海某大学，我心里知道我的第二志愿（second choice)这一次有可能会有用。

虽然很多大学不喜欢接受选了她们学校作为第二志愿的学生，这个有点像一个女孩听到一个男孩说她是候补（second choice）。NO。That’s a bitter pill to swallow.

但是对我们在浙江长大的小朋友来说，大多数人不想去除了北京上海以外的外地。我上面已经说了北京那年不少家庭不想让小孩去。这样就给其它外地高校（大学）出了个题：怎么招满她家在浙江省的招生名额。所以我说第二志愿对我来说也可能会有用。

填最后的志愿表之前，我爸爸带我去见了他认识的刘同森老师，好像当年也是他的老师。刘老师说了三个选择，大连理工，天津大学，还有就是华中理工。我妈妈在这之前，经常跟我说有谁去了北方：西安交大还是天津的大学，我现在记不清了。总而言之，我的理解去北方的话就得吃黑面包。这个有点吓人。我就挑了华工。

我记得当我接到华工的入学通知书时，还是悲喜交加。主要是担心上学的行程较不方便：我在长江轮船的博客上也有提到。四年以后，我试图通过考研再试试上海某大学，还是因数学考试没有准备好而再次失败。没有第三次，第三次我来到了密苏里大学罗拉分校（现在已改名密苏里理工大学）。看来我跟理工大学有缘。有一个原因可能是因为我们那时候有一个说法：学好数理化，走遍天下也不怕。Another reason is I was under the impression having a profession is good to make a living, something along these lines (In the blog post, How To Survive As An IT Contractor? I mentioned my maternal grandma and (actually my maternal uncle, my mom’s brother) think it’s good to be an engineer.

同时我一个人可能把理工大学给用完了，我的十三岁的大女儿现在是没有上理工大学获学工程的打算。当然女大十八变，我希望她将来至少在数学和计算机方面是相对较强的。(Update 09-20-2025) This is no longer accurate, I think she is now planning to study in Engineering, as she believe that she can make a difference in climate change by majoring/focusing on engineering. Remember the old Chinese saying “女大十八变“？I think it’s all good, btw.

*有一些钢铁学院改名，比如北京钢铁学院叫北京科技大学，武汉钢铁学院改成武汉科技大学等等。中国科技大学不是中国钢铁学院改的，她家本来就是中国科学技术大学。

Categories
advice and tips Career Fun Life Life Tips

How I learned spoken English after coming to the USA and started teaching

Reading Time: 3 minutes

Using Spoken English the 1st time in the USA

97年夏天我第一次来美国，我的飞机航班是东航上海虹桥(SHA) 到洛杉矶 (LAX, China Eastern MU 583), 当时好像用的是麦道11(Btw, 93年好像有一次事故），再从洛杉矶坐TWA航班飞圣路易斯(STL)。我在洛杉矶机场犯了一个不大不小的错误。我当时很想上厕所，急着从机场（入境处和海关）出来，结果一出来就拿错了行李。等我发现我拿错了，我已经出了海关，我赶紧用我的英语跟美国机场的工作人员解释，还好他听懂了，让我进去跟东航的地勤人员说上话，交换了行李（取到了我自己的行李）。这个箱子是当时上海第一百货的牌子，估计我们都是在一百买的，这个箱子实用也较便宜。这一次是我的口语第一次在美国派到用场。

PS: 大概在2005/6年在圣村的机场，又碰到一件类似的事情，这一次是Diplomat的灰色硬壳箱。对方把我的箱子拿到家以后，没有多想，直接撬锁。后来她通过航空公司陪了我大概是五十还是一百块钱(USD)：她没有拿我的东西，就是赔我的坏掉的箱锁。那个箱子今年回国才退休。Also: I have other stories with the diplomat luggage (1 and 2) back in 2007 when I tried to replace a broken wheel. So this one really last for a long time: at least from 2007 to 2023. I think I bought it before 2007 too.

Learning English in Missouri S&T at Rolla

Note the adults tend to stay or social with her/his own ethic group or friends, and use the 1st language he/she is familiar with. When I was a graduate student in Rolla more than 20 years ago, I used to have an American professor, and he made a comment which I agree: American grad students stay with the Americans, Chinese students stay with the Chinese, and Indian students stay with Indians.

I have Indian born advisor, and I talked to Indian born graduate students. One nice thing is one fellow graduate student sometimes corrected my English, and that really helped. Not many people would correct or point out. Btw, that particular grad student is now a technology VP at a credit rating agency.

At one time, I was able to translate for the professors during a meeting. I think the fellow graduate student is from Africa and he has some accent, but it’s not too hard to guess or figure out.

Host family
When I was new to Rolla, I got to learn the Stoltz family through the international office’s host family program. And they helped my English (via conversations), and get familiar with the America culture in many aspects. I still remember, the dinners, the trips to the Governor’s Manson, to Branson and the Xmas gifts.

Fraternity

At one time because I live with American undergrad everyday, and listen to their talking daily, I felt English is almost like “my native language”. Also once my “big brother” told me: you lived in a quite unique fraternity. And I agree: in the beginning of my stay there, I rode bike from school to the fraternity house every day. When the weather was bad I would call the house for help, and my brothers never failed to pick me up. That includes the rides in the snow days too.

I retook the English test again a few years later: got a “fair” grade from another Indian born professor.

TV and Movies are also a very important source of education for my Oral English. Back in those days it was mostly the Blockbuster videos, and just movies on the TV. Now it’s mostly streaming mostly from Netflix, Amazon and Hulu. American middle schools and high school tv 📺 or movies 🎥
High School: Gilmore girls (Netflix)
High School: Breakfast club (I watched via Amazon Prime, free)
College: back to school 🏫 (Amazon, for a fee)

Holiday themed movies

Love Actually (a classic, watch it on Netflix before 12/31/2023)

Holiday in Vineyard (Netflix)

Christmas with a View (Netflix, going away on 1/1/24)

More

Romantic series: the Virgin River (Netflix, the series 5 just debuted and the last episode has holiday theme/Christmas celebration)

Other comedies:

Seinfeld

Friends

No Hard Feelings (Jennifer Lawrence, new on Netflix)

NPR

Most listened programs: morning edition, all things considered, market place, planet money and ted radio hour.

Listened in the past, enjoyed but no longer available or no longer listen much due change of taste or programming: Diane Rhem show, Fresh Air (Terry Gros), Car Talk, Wait Wait Don’t Tell Me, Weekend Edition.

Including BBC World Service (in the night)

Teaching

https://twitter.com/435hz/status/1730065866195095985

I taught in China. Many years ago in SH. Failed. Will talk more about that exp. later, hopefully 🙁

When I was new to Rolla, I failed in the Teaching Assistant (TA) English test – later I tried to practice oral English with a English teacher during lunch (once a week). I didn’t teach when at Rolla (again because I flunked the spoken English test), and had to look for RA (research assistant) job in the school. Later on I taught in Abacus Rolla, to a few fellow grad students, and I did okay. It was friendly environment too.

This fall I started teaching graduate course at Webster U. 韦伯斯特大学客座教授（其实就是兼职 adjunct professor 🙂 Couple funny things:

  1. I was nervous before doing this, but my wife and 13 year old daughter were quite nervous too;
  2. I think it’s giving me some energy interacting with younger folks (all graduate students are younger than me). I do interact with my kids quite a bit too: to be precise more than interacting with them, or Uber-ing them around. But most kids will eventually grow up and live on their own. That’s where interacting with young folks becoming more important: I believe that’s one reason Warren Buffett likes to teach at school sometimes, or hosting the MBA students at his company’s HQ or at the annual shareholder meeting. Also the BRK meeting, plus Charlie’s Daily Journal Co and past Wesco shareholder meetings allow both of them to interact with many people, including many young people too. That’s one secret sauce of their longetibity.