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Family kids Life

Some reflections on Christmas Eve

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At about 5:30 pm, I got a call from neighbor R: it’s about help them to put together the electric scooter. It was not too bad – mainly I need to put in the handle, and put in the screw. I mentioned the neighbor once here (I didn’t elaborate for the privacy reason).

In general I am willing to help as long as I can. I think the work I did above is mostly just 举手之劳 a small effort. (Update 12-25-2025) This afternoon as I walked by, one of the kids said “thank you”. That made me happy. A few months ago, it was one of the little girls’ b-day. I bought b-day gift for her as my younger daughter used to go to the same elementary school with them, and they took the same school bus. One day the two little girls probably took the advice from their grandma Ms. R, came bye and said “thank you for the gift”. That made my day too.

Some random thoughts: it was probably in Christmas night of 2002 I slided into a ditch when I was driving on highway 270 near 370. Quite a few drivers stopped and tried to help. But they cannot get me (my car) out of snow ditch. I called AAA eventually and I gave the tow truck driver $5 tip.

My two kids wanted to watch the classic Christmas movie Grinch on Peacock but the big TV (LG TV) seems doen’t have the Peacock app. So they are watching on the computer (MacBook Air). Meanwhile, I need to practice both Guitar and Piano.

Last few days I was teaching my older daughter to drive. We were practicing at the parking lot I taught my wife about 16 years ago. And so far so good.

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Family Life

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Career Software development

Parents’ anxiety on AI and kids’ job prospects

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In the news:

150 job applications, rescinded offers: Computer science grads are struggling to find work | CNN Business 

Goodbye, $165,000 Tech Jobs. Student Coders Seek Work at Chipotle. – The New York Times (this one seems widely circulated)

A linkedIn post (thread, or rant 🙂

Also in the FB group –

https://www.facebook.com/groups/1506637529662997/search/?q=%20AI%20career

https://www.facebook.com/groups/GrownandFlownParents/permalink/4543960429264010

One story I heard at Rolla

Honeywell CEO (or maybe Allied Signal CEO, Allied Signal is now a subsidiary of Honeywell, AS was HQ’ed in Kansas City: he may only work for one company his whole career; while we (my generation, the gen X) may have 7 jobs throughout our career (I have 10 so far, I think – Minjie Xu | LinkedIn).

Also, this one – https://thestillwandering.substack.com/p/the-death-of-the-corporate-job?r=44469&utm_medium=ios&triedRedirect=true “The death of the corporate job”

I recorded a short 7 to 8 minutes video for this too – my journey – pivotal points? Choose career and during career. Here is the video – My colleague and engineering career journey  

Again from Linkedin

Since 2023, I have kept on testing AI capabilities, and in 2025, AI has become scary good.

I understand why some might be afraid of AI getting better and better. It’s understandable, yet not the right attitude. There’s a lot of upside in learning how to get the best out of all these powerful tools.

As a software developer, we are students for life. We’ve always needed to reinvent ourselves and learn better ways to do our job. Embracing AI is just business as usual.

That’s exactly why I got into IT in the first place. If I wanted a boring job, I’d have chosen a totally different field 20 years ago.

Po-Shen Loh

Po-Shen Loh interview on AI 🤖 at YT – The Only Trait for Success in the AI Era—How to Build It | Carnegie Mellon University Po-Shen Loh (the key is to find solutions for new problems, not the good old leetcode exercise which is basically a memorization of many popular algorithms and data structures in the big tech or computer science arena’s code base).

My comment or disclaimer: we cannot predict the future…

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America

We Always Do Things This Way

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This is probably 6 most dangerous words in the English, from my observation.

In the News: (ABC News) Person of interest in custody after fatal Brown University shooting, official says. (AP via Yahoo) Police have person of interest in custody over Brown University shooting that killed 2, wounded 9. And let me quote a bit below:

“We all, intellectually, knew it could happen anywhere, including here, but that’s not the same as it happening in our community, and so this is an incredibly upsetting and emotional time for Providence, for Brown, for all of us,” he (Mayor of Providence, Brett Smiley) said. “It’s not something that we should have to train for, but we have.”

This is after the 1999 Columbine High School massacre and 2012 Sandy Hook Elementary School shooting, as well as 2022 Uvalde school shooting (all links go to Wikipedia).

In the K to 12 school my kids go to, they do active shooter drills every year. And there was an incident recently in the HS my old daughter goes to.

There was some reforms here and there, but no outright ban on assault weapons or guns, as of now.

As I wrote this, I just saw another gun violence (tragedy) news in Australia, which has much stricter gun laws than the USA. (BBC News) Eleven killed in shooting targeting Jewish community at Australia’s Bondi Beach, police say. (AP) Mass shootings are rare in Australia. Here is a look at some previous attacks.

Statistics of Gun Violence is probably a complicated topic. But in general, fewer assault weapons, fewer guns and ammunitions in the wild, fewer gun violence or tragedy in our daily lives. A good example is in the country I am from (China), there was very few loss of lives from guns. China probably has one of the strictest gun laws in the world, btw.

Personally I think the three big mountains for Americans: Healthcare, Housing and College cost.

Odds and Ends, and Statistics

The average American’s net worth is $620,654, but that number means little. Here’s the figure that counts (MoneyWise via Yahoo)

As of 2024, median net worth in America is just $124,041, according to UBS. That’s an astonishing five times lower than the average net worth of $620,654.

In fact, by this measure, America is only the 15th wealthiest country in the world, lagging behind Australia, Canada, New Zealand and Italy. By comparison, the U.S. is the second wealthiest country based on average wealth.

…….

Investing just $575 a month into this index and assuming a similar growth rate would get you above the $124,041 threshold for median wealth in roughly 10-and-a-half years.

……

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Fun kids

Visited David Hickman High School in Columbia MO yesterday

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It’s my 1st visit. Here is their wikipedia entry. I went there because I was taking my older daughter and her friend for the Missouri All State Band audition. Please don’t ask me the audition results.

A side note is I found out the Chick Fil A in Columbia MO was extremely busy at about 1:30 pm yesterday (Saturday). And I googled it and found it’s usually that busy on Saturday lunch hours.

For me the main job is to stay awake on the highway, as well as the morning fogs (this is partially due to the snowfall last Monday).

I also learned kewpie, both the doll and the Japanese mayo.

My memory sometimes is not perfect

But I think I am decent. I joke that sometimes I memorized quite a bit useless stuff, e.g., I remember things such as the first lesson in my 1st grade Chinese textbook, and so on.

But apparently, I forgot a few details that my wife remembers (but I forgot 🙂 during our 1st date.

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401k and Personal Finance

Regular 401k vs regular IRA

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我有个老的 401k plan, 要换 plan administrator (custodian), 我离开这家公司有13.5 年了,至少已经换过一次administrator – 昨天 (11/27/2025) 我干脆把它 roll over to IRA 了。*Update 12-01-2025, the money is already in my IRA account. I think partially because it’s inside the same administrator, the speed of moving is quite fast (one or two business days). I initiated on the Thanksgiving day, and the money arrived on Cyber Monday.

An old 401k account notified me recently they are going to change the plan administrator (again), and this is at least the second time they are making a change, and this time around I decided to roll over to my regular IRA instead of following/sticking with them.

Below is the Google search results comparing rollover to IRA or to new employer’s 401k plan. I copied the AI Overview below.

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Rolling over an old 401(k) to an IRA generally provides more investment choices and potentially lower fees, while rolling it into a new employer’s 401(k) is often simpler and consolidates accounts. The best option depends on your priorities, such as investment control versus administrative convenience, so compare the investment options and fees of both your new 401(k) plan and potential IRAs before deciding.

Roll over to an IRA

  • Pros:
    • Greater investment options: IRAs offer a much wider variety of investments, including stocks, bonds, ETFs, and REITs.
    • Potentially lower fees: You can often find an IRA with lower fees by choosing a low-cost brokerage.
    • Flexibility: You can manage your retirement savings separately from your current job.
  • Cons:
    • Potential for more complex management: Managing separate accounts can be more complicated.
    • Fewer creditor protections: IRA protections against creditors can vary by state and may be less robust than those for 401(k)s.
    • No loan options: You cannot take out a loan from an IRA, unlike a 401(k). 

Roll over to a new employer’s 401(k) 

  • Pros:
    • Simplicity: Consolidating your retirement funds into one account is often the easiest administrative option.
  • Cons:
    • Limited investment options: Your new employer’s plan may have a limited selection of investments.
    • Potentially higher fees: The new plan’s fees may be higher than those of an IRA.
    • Less control: Your new employer has control over the plan, including its features and fees. 

Other options 

  • Leave the money in the old plan: You can keep the money in your former employer’s 401(k) as long as the balance is over a certain threshold (typically $5,000). This is a good option if you are happy with the old plan’s performance and fees. (My comments: this is not an option sometimes. Larger employers usually allow this, but smaller employers usually don’t)
  • Cash out: While technically an option, cashing out your 401(k) is generally not recommended as it will result in immediate taxes and potential penalties, and you will lose tax-advantaged growth. 

How to decide

  • Compare your new 401(k) plan with potential IRAs. Look at the investment options, fees, and performance history of each.
  • Consider your retirement goals. If you want a wide range of investment options and control, an IRA may be better. If you prefer simplicity and easy administration, a new 401(k) might be suitable.
  • Consult a financial advisor. For personalized advice based on your specific financial situation, consult a financial advisor. 

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Again, IRA offers more investment choices (stocks, could be a double edge sword 🗡️), and consolidation of the accounts.

Talking about double edge sword。大概也是2011年到2014年之间,我把两个我做contractor (合同工)时候的小401k都roll over 到我的IRA里去了。当时里面总共大概有三万块钱:结果我炒股,把它变成了一万五还是一万二 :-(。大概到2019年我才回本:考虑通胀和机会成本,实际上还是亏的。所以说这是双刃剑 🙂

IRA 跟 401k 还有两个细微的区别:401k 是可以跟它借钱的,比如买房的时候;另外还有一个55岁时没有early withdrawal penalty 取钱的一种选择 (rule of 55)。IRA 没有这些选择。

Also, refer to my earlier posts on this topic, if you are interested. I changed quite a few employers in last 15 years or so, thus I have this problem.

Last but not least, Thoughts on retirement and retirement accounts

Categories
Life

Thanksgiving 2025 – quick random thoughts

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I have many thanksgiving holidays in the USA. Let me count from 1997 to 2025, with the exception of 2019 I spent all the Thanksgiving holidays here in those years.

In 2019 I took a trip to China to see my parents, and my big brother and his family back home: United Airlines STL/PVG roundtrip via ORD, leave on Wed, Nov 27, 2019 and return on Sat, Dec 07, 2019. Back then there were 2 nonstops flights between ORD and PVG daily, those flights were suspended since 2020 pandemic, and hasn’t resumed so far. 2020 pandemic quickly happened (January 2020) and impacted travel, shortly after I returned to the US.

I spent total 28 Thanksgiving holidays here – calculation goes like this:

2025 – 1997 = 28; 28 + 1 (this will make sure we include 1997) – 1 (2019) = 28

Early years 1997 to 1999

In the early years, when I was a graduate student in Rolla (Missouri S&T, 1997 to 1999/2000), I had a host family, the Stoltz family in Rolla, and they had a tradition going to Jefferson City, because their friend and relative Mel Carnahan was the governor of Missouri. And they brought us along 🙂 It was quite eye opening for me, as I was new to the states. I went to there twice, at least, with the Stoltz family. Yes we went to the Governor’s Mansion. A few summers ago, we went to the Jefferson city for a tour, and I can barely remember some of the places there, including the Governor’s Mansion as well as the state capitol.

After Rolla

Black Friday was a thing then, I also attended quite a few friends gathering here in STL, or friendsGiving (Wikipedia) in today’s term.

Re: black Friday, I saw people (friends) bought the newspaper, and looked at the deals in the inlets (ads), some will literrally camped outside the Best Buy or Walmart stores overnight. And in extreme cases, people stamped into each other when the store door opened, and there were casualties. I know it’s crazy but I am trying to just tell it like a journalist would do.

Another year (2005) I actually spent Thanksgiving on the road, I took a flight from STL to the St. Francisco bay area, to spend holiday with my brother and his family. There were only 3 passengers on the plane that has capacity of more than 100. It was probably a McDonell Douglas MD-95 plane rebranded as a Boeing 717 later on. And the airplane was quite cold – both because of lack of passengers inside, as well as the cabin temperature was not set high.

Work

One year I actually worked on Thanksgiving day, I believe it was 2006, when I was single. I don’t have any complaints, because I didn’t have anything better to do then. But let me emphasize, try to do the work only if absolutely necessary, or if you are bored if like I was in Thanksgiving 2006.

Because one year (2017 or 2018 when I was working for MC) I fought with my wife, again you may realized it’s mostly my fault, and for trivial stuff. But one factor I was upset was because I worked for 2 out of 4 days break in that thanksgiving holiday (it was expected at my job then at MC, refer to “非养老公司” section).

Recent years

Turkey trot: I run quite a few Turkey Trot at Olivette, since year 2018 (need to look up my races history and my blog post).

Kids will make dinner today

Just like last year. This year our 11 year old our younger daughter is taking the charge, I believe last year it was our old daughter who was leading. They both cooked American traditional style Thanksgiving dinner 🙂

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advice and tips Life Tips

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Fun Music

国粤双语

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国粤双语歌曲的例子

我是比较后知后觉的人。但是英文里有一个说法:better late than never. 我大概最早是今年上半年看到的Ayen何璟昕在2022年在中央台三套(CCTV3)表演的《追梦人》《天若有情》。你可以注意到她先是以国语的追梦人开始,中间插一段粤语的天若有情,最后又回到国语的追梦人。

后来发现Ayen在各主流视频平台上有不少国粤双语的歌。于是我最近 created 一个YT Playlist – Ayen何璟昕-国粤双语。An example 另外一个例子: also 人生何处不相逢 + 最真的梦 |国粤双语 Acoustic Cover (link is from YT Shorts). A longer version from Ayen via Bilibili is here. 人生何处不相逢原唱是陈慧娴(Bilibili 链接);最真的梦的原唱是周华健。

国语版和粤语版

Btw, 我是最近才知道不少歌是同时有国语版和粤语版的。A面&B面——国粤双语歌曲三十五首全纪录 – 日记 – 豆瓣.

再比如说“你是明日意义”这首歌是“漂洋过海来看你”的粤语版。这篇博文的密码是tomorrow, btw。Another example is this relatively new song 故事的最终粤语版:Cantonese lyricist is 心之洛 and the singer with acoustic guitar cover is Ayen何璟昕 (both links are YT). The mandarin version is sung by Zhang Bichen, 【新歌首發】張碧晨《在故事的最終》溫情上線(電影【哪吒之魔童鬧海】片尾曲)| CC字幕. I like both versions, but I liked the Cantonese versions’ words and singing slightly more 🙂

Actually, yesterday I noticed Ayen is not the only singer does this 国粤双语, Alan Tam 谭咏麟, one of the most famous singers from HK, sung this one at Hunan TV a few years ago – the original songs 突然想愛你 (mandarin) 留低鎖匙(Cantonese) were both originally sung by Valen Hsu or Xu Ru’yun 許茹芸. She is recently performing in the mainland, btw.

Also 执迷不悔 (Live) sung by the singer Sara Liu Xijun whom I also like quite a bit.

When I realized this, I tend to believe they are not the only 3 singers do 国粤双语. This way of singing probably existed before 2021 and 2022.

Categories
kids

Some kids not that interested in learning to drive nowadays

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I learned this from my own kid – our older daughter. She got the permit a few months ago, but she was not that motivated or interested in learning to drive. She is not the only kid in her peer group that are not that interested in learning to drive.

I know 2 boys who are a bit older than our older daughter. They are 19 and 16 respectively. They are not interested in to learn to drive either.

Case 1: another friend whose son is a college freshman at SLU (Saint Louis university), and the boy recently had 19th birthday. But he was not that interested in learning to drive until very recently – my friend (his mom) cannot drive him every day due to health issues. So, they have to resort to Ubers. This is actually something I noticed when I drove for Uber too – at least one rider, a young adult (girl) told me she is not that interested to drive on her own. I recall she mentioned once she had a car accident.

Case 2: the boy is a junior in the high school. I offered to his mom that I would teach him to drive if they are interested. But so far, my phone has not rung yet 🙂

Personally, we are okay with S8 our older daughter not learning to drive now. Because also recently, a new friend (a Ph.D. and also assistance professor at Wash U med school), told me that teen’s brains are not fully developed to handle the stress of driving, that’s one reason there are more accidents when teens drive and sometimes the accidents could be serious. Obviously, I don’t what any of that. In other words, as long as I can drive and have free time, I will continue to shuttle my older daughter around although technically she can start to learn, and age-wise she can receive a full fledge driver license as soon as she is 16 – which is a few months away.

But I would probably more stressed out when she actually hits the road – something similar to the feeling I had when she went to the Cub Creek Science Camp, a sleepaway camp in Rolla, Missouri for a week 🙂 I cannot stop checking emails for 3 days until Wednesday evening she sent us the email.