Imagine when a kid falls and how western parents and traditional Chinese grandmas react
Is probably the confidence. From the day they start to walk. I still remember the time my older daughter started to walk. I think most parents would encourage their toddler kids to walk when the kiddos were still learning. I guess the same goes for the potty training. Now I recall we gave our older daughter chocolate when she successfully used the potty without peeing or pooing in the diaper. when we started potty training on her. And I clearly recall she asked for chocolate at her toddler daycare place when she successfully did it there.
In terms of teaching kids to walk or run, I also recall, that many years ago, in my college (China), sometimes we saw Western parents walk with young kids on campus. And occasionally, kids will fall, to my initial surprise, the western parents would usually let the kids get up by themselves, and in a way help them grow. This way of handling kids falling is totally opposite to what my grandmas would do: they would walk over, blame the ground, pretend hitting the ground, and so on.
Fast forward though, I think partially due to kids growing, partially due to our own aging, it seems we can use more patience as kids growing up. I know it’s easier said than done, especially for parents of teens, pre-teens etc.
I think the below tweet showed an excellent way the parent supported his kid. Lot of hard work, obviously. But it both improved her volleyball skills and perhaps equally important if not more, her confidence in playing volleyball.
Last year, my daughter got cut from her 7th grade volleyball team.
She made the first cut, and thought she had a good chance. But on the second and final cut, they called her name, and she put her head down and walked out to the car where her mom and I were waiting.
油管：my Youtube 2022 video for BRK HQ video below (narration mostly in Chinese)
Charlie Munger
We know Charlie Munger (Wiki) passed away recently, and he was the vice chairman of Berkshire Hathaway: he had some influence on Warren Buffet’s investments over the years, including See’s Candy, Coca Cola and so on. Here is the free online book Poor Charlie’s Almanack (you can purchase the paper versions through the links here). Also, the last interview before he passed away with CNBC’s Becky Quick (1 hour 42 mins, YouTube link here). I still think Warren makes most investments decisions independently. though.
四大金刚 (google; baidu baike, Wiki) is a common idiom in Chinese, and I think it may be suitable to describe the current top 4 men who works for Warren Buffett. And I assume they take over most of what Warren does today, should Warren decides to retire.
Top Two (Duo)
Greg Abel (Wiki): current Vice Chairman of BRK, responsible for all non-insurance operations, which also means he is in charge of the BRK Energy (formerly Mid-America Energy), BNSF Railway, many manufacturing and retail operations ranges from BH Home Service (real estate agents), Brooks Running, Clayton Home, Diary Queen, to ISCAR, Nebraska Furniture Market (NFM), Net Jets, See’s Candies, to Oriental Trading, Squish Marrow and so on. Note there are many business people may have not heard of. As of now, Greg will be the CEO of Berkshire Hathaway when Warren Buffett retires, in addition to his curent Vice Chair title.
Ajit Jain: current Vice Chairman of BRK, responsible for all insurance operations, companies such as Geico (car insurance) to reinsurance business.
Warren asked Greg and Ajit to be on the stage in last few years’ annual shareholder meeting, and they answered relevant questions in their portfolio. This is a good move. I think also, once Charlie slipped his tongue during an Q&A, and he said Greg will keep the culture (or something similar). So the world knows Greg is the CEO heir apparent.
Investment managers(also a duo)
Ted and Todd are two former hedge fund managers that Warren Buffet hired about 15 years ago (exact date please refer to their Wikipedia links below, or you can google it). Quite a few people including $BRK.A and $BRK.B shareholders would question Warren Buffett’s age and they are worried what if Warren suddenly became incapacitated or die. Who is the heir apparent. This is a tricky question or problem, because very few hedge fund managers would give up their career, at the same time would basically be prepared when this inevitable happens. It seems in Ted W. and Todd C. Warren found the perfect duo for this job. This is somewhat like the duo of Warren himself and Charlie.
Ted Weschler: Ted got a bit unwanted attention from his personal IRA investment. But his performance speaks louder than his words. Quote Wikipedia: in 2012, Weschler joined Buffett at Berkshire Hathaway, a year after Todd Combs joined as Berkshire’s first investment manager. As of 2019, he managed $13 billion of the equity portfolio and $8 billion in pension funds.
Todd Combs: in addition to his investment duty (along with Ted), note Todd is also the CEO of Geico (and technically for that role he reports to Ajit). Here is a picture of Todd during “invest in yourself 5k” during the annual Berkshire Hathaway shareholder meeting. Here is a picture of Ted, Todd and Tracy Britt Cool during that run. Note Tracy used to work for Warren as well, and she started to work on her own investment partnership in recent years. Maybe someday she will come back to BRK: if the right opportunity arises.
Board
Howard Buffett, Warren’s older son, plans to take over the Chairman role when Warren retires. Susan Buffett, Warren’s daughter, and a few others will be on the board. They may need to add one or 2 board seats because Charile used to be a board member.
One thing it’s interesting is Warren likes #pairProgramming, or #pairWorking, because he has two pairs of magnificent managers for CEO and investment managers job.
This topic would be on my list of things I like least about St. Louis. It’s something I’ve never experienced anywhere else, and something I simply don’t enjoy. I did grow up in St. Louis and did go to high school in St. Louis, before relocating, and actually enjoyed my high school experience a great deal, and would recommend my high school highly to anyone who asked. I do also enjoy St. Louis a great deal of course and still spend a lot of time in St. Louis. I have a few friends who’ve recently moved back to St. Louis and immediately were reminded of the whole high school mentality, and they simply say they were home schooled or from out of town and usually the other person asking quickly loses interest in them and walks away. I generally think I have a good tolerance for things and a sense of humor, but where there’s smoke there’s fire, and despite the friendliness and simpleness of the topic, to me it represents the fragmented mentality of a medium sized metro area, or big small town if you will, and the sizing up one person vs another. I’m just not a fan. It’s sort of remniscent of the person who enters a party and the first thing they strike up in conversation is, “So, what do you do?”…because they can’t think of anything else to say.
Last but not least, these old google reviews on Ladue Middle School: it seems most of the one star rating is form the Clayton (Wydown) Middle school? This is similar to the sports “trash talk” between STL Cardinals and Chicago Cubs 🙂 Or the rivalry between JBS and MICDS which I will talk a bit below. Note there is a small rivalry between Ladue High School and MICDS too: the rivalry on the Warson road. Incidentally both have ram has mascot.
In a way I think Ladue middle or high school is a bit like my middle (high) school – Zhenhai Middle School. I wrote a blog post; also you may read the wikipedia entry 🙂 Recently there is also a story floating around at the Chinese media, both inside and outside China, this again emphasize the importance of mental health. Btw, I noticed in the US, the medical community is paying attention to this topic too, as I saw the survey questions on the annual physical exam for my kids.
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I think it’s important for a kid going to a good school: both middle and high school. Equally important though, if not more, is the school is a good fit for the kid. Obviously money is a consideration too. I mean the tuition and other costs for the private schools. I don’t think the more expensive, the better the school though.
And I heard good things about them here and there. But I am not going to comment on any one of the private schools in the area. Btw, there is the website of the independent schools in the STL area.
I actually did some research or tour some area private schools over the years: The Wilson school (toured when my old daughter was one year old :-), Whitfield school (toured when looking for a high school potentially for a family member, it reminds me of the Hilton hotel btw). I visited MICDs and John Burroughs too: went to MICDs and Burroughs mostly for my old daughter’s basketball or Lego competition, and a summer camp at MICDs. Now I recall they had a “play” which is good and cool. I think they all have wonderful facilities. I also visited a few Catholic schools in the area, because both my daughters did one season of CYC basketball, the campus of Villa stands out for me.
Keep things in perspective
I started this blog post due to a few factors. I do agree “what high school did you go” is very much a #STL thing, and sometimes this is rightly, or wrongly, a snobbish question.
Mental healthand Happiness
Recently I have seen my 13 year old got nervous about two things: one is the All Suburban Middle School Jazz Band. Her main worry is she needed to do jazz improvise. She said she regret for trying out the Jazz Band audition. She even tried to write out the music notes that she was going to do during improvisation. So far she went for 3 rehearsals. She felt better now. Another one is the YPCO at CMS (Webster U). She said she was not prepared well enough before the joint rehearsal, and plus they are getting a new conductor (director).
A good example to show she was not happy or was nervous: yesterday afternoon, I was probably late for 10 mins per the plan, to pick her up, and she was really upset. I told her we had sufficient time to get to CMS. That didn’t help. She was not talking to me on our way there. This is quite different from after the rehearsal.
Recent episode reminds me one major responsibility for parents: pay attention to kids’ mental health, and make sure they are developing the right skills for time management, prioritize tasks, and feel safe at home. Sometimes (maybe a lot of times) when they feel safe they could also show lots of emotions at home.
(Update 01-07-2023) Today is the day my 13 year old will perform at the All Suburban jazz concert. Things got better recently as she found a friend (new friend) at the jazz band (also a 8th grader girl), and incidentally this girl goes to the YPCO as well. I think in a lot ways, parents influence may not be as good as friends 🙂
Foundation for life
I think overall school is a good place for the kids to try different things, explore, make friends, and to make sure they are prepared for the future, and in ideal situation, find their true passion. I saw a good example the other day. Private or public school may be a factor, but to me this is the ONLY factor.
My comments: personally I don’t like my kid having phone at school. But at the same time it’s a convenience thing for communication as my 13 year old has after school activities to go sometimes. It seems she largely avoid using the phone when in school. In the past I recall former colleagues mentioned the school would hold on the phones in school day (pre smartphone period). Smartphone distraction is really everywhere: I also recall a VP of software engineering doing blackberry when she was meeting with us in a meeting (around 2005 or 2006?). If we really want to do this: as a minimum the leaders should lead by example.
Conversation I had last week with a guy I'd just met while traveling. After we exchanged names and basic social niceties:
Me "So do you enjoy living here now?"
Him "Yeah, it's so much better than when I was staying in Boston."
I still think during the holiday season, it’s best to spend more time with the kids as they do grow up so quickly. Enjoy the moment when we can. I recall one of the best preschool teacher and administrator, also a Montessori educator in the area, Susie Dodge-Shelton, once said something like this, basically she said “hug your kids more” during holiday season. We knew Susie since year 2008 (?, I think), and knew her husband David who was the director of Hope Infant Toddler Community (HITC): HITC which is next to the Hope Academy in Creve Coeur (HACC, and Susie served as director for the CC campus for many years), there is a short cut between the two campus as I recall. Now they are behind the giant BJC west campus (there was more trees and greens in the front of HACC. They are both wonderful couple and educators. And I believe they are both happily retired.
With that being said, I am aware of winter break camps, and we have been to some of their equivalent summer camps in the past. Below is not a complete list, to be updated as new information arrives.
Don’t Let Stress Ruin the Holidays (copied/pasted from my employer’s benefit email) Stress often goes hand in hand with the holiday season. There’s the pressure of buying the perfect gifts — and making sure you don’t go broke. Holiday party after holiday party can stretch you thin. And for many of us, missing loved ones who are not around can make celebrating difficult. Many adults deal with stress, anxiety, and depression during this time of year. Here are several strategies to reduce stress during the holiday season.
Lean into healthy habits. Virtually any form of physical activity can act as a stress reliever, so get regular exercise during the holidays.
Know your limits for time and money. Consider saying no to some invites to avoid felling overwhelmed. Set a realistic budget to prevent stresses from overspending.
Limit social media. Social media may increase potential negative effects on your mental health. Try to use time around the holidays to step away from your phone and enjoy in-person time with loved ones.
Stay present and be proactive. If you feel tension or worry building, address it before it becomes all-consuming. Giving yourself a chance to catch your breath and refocus may help you feel better. #holiday #stress #health
Anyway, I think for most people who are still in the wealth accumulation stage (I think most people before retirement is in this category), low cost stock index funds, plus some low cost specialized stock funds (value, growth, small, mid, large caps) that has a track record, are the ways to invest. I have both in my 401k accounts. And I usually look at them once a year, and do some rebalance (mostly very small adjustments) as I see fit. I do this for my HSA and 529 plan too. The latter 2 are much smaller than my 401ks. But I feel HSA is overlooked by many people and I am also aware of some new changes to the 529 plan (and they are good changes).
有朋友问我401k的投资选择：我一般推荐S&P 500 index funds. 过去十年/二十年 S&P 500 index return 有可能比历史上的9.81% 还稍高一些，应该是可以beat inflation 的。工资不一定，我2000年第一份码工工作工资是$56,000, 现在圣村entry level 的software engineer 大概给个六万或稍多一些。那时候一个新的Camry LE 大概不到两万，现在要三万。当然硅谷大厂的码工收入要高几倍：entry level 也是如此。做OpenAI 等相关热门行业的更高。
还有就是不一定非要买magnificent 7 stocks, 其它一些市值小一点股票也有长时间不错的：比如$CMG, $MA, $MCD, $MNST, $SBUX 应该还有不少beat S&P 的。当然loser 更多. On this note, we need to be careful on IPOs and SPACs. Think $BHIL.
My own stupid mistakes on my 401k and IRAs, and turnaround
At one time, probably year 2010 till 2013, I converted my 3 small 401k accounts to an IRA account at Vanguard, then I traded stupid stocks (yes they are stupid stocks looking back), such as Arch Coal (I worked for the company in 2011 and 2012), Alpha Natural Resources (also a coal company) and also “the one time smartphone wonder” Palm. Long word short, I probably lost half of the money when I did all this. Luckily I found out my stupidity and decided to change my strategy. I was able to turn around from year 2017, the pivotal point was actually in year 2015, when I started trading on the Robinhood platform. I know my favorite person or investment great Charlie Munger dislikes the Robinhood (for encouraging frequent trading, basically make it more like a lottery or gamble). But for me personally no trading fees plus some trading that has a purpose or a theme works better for me (I hold a stock from a few days to a few months on Robinhood).
So in other words, if I’ve put the money from my three small 401k accounts into $NVDA or $TSLA stocks and hold them all this time, I would be an IRA multi-millionaires. But I am just happy with my turnaround and my S&P 500 index like performance. Expectations, expectations and expectations, are the key to happiness 🙂
Old blog post back in year 2006, I believe I wrote it 2 days after meeting my wife. We didn’t meet at Starbucks though, we met at a tea place at the Zhongshan Park and later was changed to a bank. I used to drink a lot more Starbucks and I recall about 10 years ago, sometimes I brought my old daughter to Starbucks in St. Louis. Around holiday season they have the hot chocolate ☕️ for kids, I vaguely recall it was $1.75 for a small kid cup. Once at the Craig/Olive road store: a lady commented “start that young? We live in a wonderful life.”
Now being a teenager and probably inherited the sugar tooth from me, she likes the Starbucks a lot. So are many of her friends. Sometimes when I go there to get food or drinks for my kids, at the Lindbergh and Clayton road store, I usually see some middle school and high school kids. And this morning I got my own cup too: the holiday special, chestnut pralines latte (the cup I got this morning is shown at the top of the blog post).
(12-05-2023) I bought some $SBUX stocks.
(12-07-2023) Yesterday I heard the store at Lindbergh and Clayton was closed temporally. Today I learned that the reason was a customer used insulting words to the barista, and barista was not happy, probably threw some words back (again this is just what I heard). Later the management suspended two workers involved in this. The store is a unionized store, all the union workers started striking to protest. Separately, I read in the news quite some people (and in different countries) protested against Starbucks due to the Gaza situation. So in other words, I understand the holiday drinks are luxury compared to people in Gaza get clean water and so on, but at the same time, maybe some barista depends on the income from Starbucks for food and milk too?
and I got to learn how to connect the water supply to the fridge’s water dispenser/ice maker. We bought the fridge from Costco. Our old one eventually gave up last week (between Thursday and Sunday). I recall I talked about it here (this “GE Refrigerator Ice Maker not working” section). And on Sunday when I was walking at the J indoor track, my wife called and said the fridge is broken. I came back home shortly and started shopping for a new fridge. The reason I decided to go with a new one because I know the old one has its age, and my wife really disliked it (she wanted a new one). Got to make the boss happy.
I did some research last time around when I was working on the ice maker. This is the one I came up with: it’s a Samsung. I initially ordered this one, but a few hours later I realized this one maybe too big for our door: the depth of 33.5 in is about the front door width. Later on I learned it’s possible to remove the door and put it back. But at that time (Sunday afternoon) I don’t want to take this risk, and we went with a smaller version of this: it has a depth of 24 inch which is much easier to get in. Other dimensions are okay from what I can see.
On Thursday the delivery people came, and the lead person quickly told me I need to do two things before he can hook up the water line. 1. Install Shutoff valve; 2. Disconnect the copper tube
DIY
I called a plumbing company right away: I have their number because they are the Costco delivery partner for our dishwasher in recent years. But their plumber is scheduled out to Dec 15. So I started googling and look at YouTube. This is the YouTube video I saw initially: How to install an inline water shut off valve on the back of your refrigerator
I did watch some others: I save them in my YT playlist “diy” and you can see all the videos by scrolling down. The part and the tool I bought are:
Husky Junior Tube Cutter: 1/8 yo 5/8 inch (the link may not be precise, check the outside package when you go to store). I bought both at Home Depot Overland MO store.
This evening, after much YT watching, and so on. I decided to take the plunge. I cut the copper tube 1st, then put in the valve. I noticed the small needle didn’t fit into the copper tube, and it seems it’s okay to leave it out too. Before doing all this obviously I shutoff the water main. After the installation of valve, and with valve shut. I turned the water main back on. Next step is disconnect the copper tube from old fridge, move in the new fridge, and connect the water lines. The connections are the same as the old fridge.
After that testing time: took a bit time for water to fill. Once water was ready, I filled and dumped about 3.7 Liters of water. Finally I was able to enjoy the fruits of my labor, that is the water coming from the new fridge. I turned on the ice maker too, tomorrow we may test out the new ice maker. I think this Samsung video explained this process well.
If your new refrigerator dispenses water and/or ice cubes, you will need to ensure additional space is available between the refrigerator and the wall for the water line. This reduces the risk of deterioration in existing lines Empty and unplug your old appliance. Built-in appliances must be uninstalled prior to delivery Verify there is a 3-prong grounded electrical outlet and water supply, with an accessible shut-off valve in close proximity to the install location; preferably within 3 ft. Ensure the proper fit in the designated space and the delivery path. Here is a video guide for measurements.
Our delivery team will:
Reverse new merchandise doors on site, if needed Connect new appliance to existing water line and check for leaks Place racks, trays, and door handles in recommended positions Plug unit in and set to a mid-range cold setting and level the refrigerator or freezer
我的小女儿经常说的一个口头禅是如上的标题。这个好像也是my better half （aka 也就是我太太)有时头疼的一个问题。我觉得吃或者饥饿也是人的本性之一吧。我自己总的来说应该是没有因为经济的原因，在小时候饿过肚子。我太太应该也没有（她也是浙江人）。有一次我闯了一个不大不小的祸：小朋友玩捉迷藏，我好像躲在那个油菜的杆子后面，后来那家人说他们那个还有菜籽（可以榨油的那种油菜籽，canola oil), 我爸爸妈妈可能陪了他们五毛钱(no pun intended, for real)。那个时候我爸爸的月工资大概是50块钱，也就是我的错误大概是我爸爸月收入的1%。比我十三岁女儿最近的iPhone事故稍好些。那天晚饭我不敢回家吃饭，后来我的哥哥把我叫回去了。一般来说，再大的事不影响吃饭。那时候还有一个大人经常用来吓唬小孩的故事：浪费粮食，打雷的时候雷公会打的。后来在美国，我的美国host mom(她四八年生人，我不是住在他们家，但是他们对我刚来美国有很大帮助，以后会单独写），她的妈妈在她们小时候经常说：finish what’s on your plate, because in China and India a lot of pepiple are staving. 让我又想到小时候的台湾人民生活在水深火热之中，后来在美国碰到台湾人，好像他们也这么说。
很多年以后，严格来说也就是在我年过半百的时候，我才慢慢意识到，在我现在这个年龄，吃饭最好最好吃个7️⃣分饱。亡羊补牢为时不晚。Better late than never.
小时候，好像总的来说，肉比较少，有时候好像要凭票。牛肉更少，好像生产队偶尔会分牛肉：我印像中一般可能是耕牛（干活的牛）可能老死了。顺便说一下，我骑过一次牛，我应该很小，还没上学，我的叔叔给生产队放牛（不是亲叔叔，但是比较近）把我放在牛背上，感觉牛背很高（多年以后我后来在美国骑过一会马，感觉有点类似）。公公（叔叔的爸爸）很能干，我现在还记得在他家吃的高粱饼的味道。我们那里一般大家不怎么种高粱，印像中高粱主要是北方种得多一些。偶尔我们也会到邻居阿嫂家蹭东西吃：比如寒假暑假里，我们爸爸妈妈要上班，阿嫂做得东西很好吃。当然，可能还有一个原因，就是跟”neighbor’s yard is greener” 类似的道理。有一次，还听说一个笑话。事情是这样的：有一家在做“汤锅”，就是没有馅的小圆子，另一家正好经过，就开玩笑说等一下做好了，就来吃晚饭吧。主人就说好的。我估计这个客人的智商可能跟我小时候的智商差不多，因为她们后来真的穿着漂亮衣服，去吃晚饭了。
为什么提到我的智商呢，其实严格来说应该是情商，就是察言观色的水平，英文叫read the room, or read/listen between the lines。就是有一次，我大概是我小女儿现在的年纪，春节期间去我爸的亲戚家做客，他的表哥家，我爸的姨娘（也就是我奶奶的姐姐）也在，他们拿出了所有的好菜。结果，我可能把我姨婆/大伯家的黄鱼给撬了。后来知道有的菜主人可能就一份，不能随便撬的 🙁 我的大哥小哥可能把我好好笑话了一下。我记得这是我去唯一一次去大伯家做客。我爸爸可能后来有去的：我倒不是觉得是因为我撬了不该撬的菜。我估计主要还是春节期间我们一般会去外婆（小舅家）住几天。也有去过外婆家旁边的姑婆家：应该是我妈妈/舅舅的姑妈，和我妈妈的表哥家。我记得有一次（我应该比我小女儿现在还小），我在公共汽车站，说口渴，我外婆就走到相对较近的姑婆家给我去倒了水喝。小时候去外婆家，坐车，走路都有。我小时候有时会觉得，如果我“聪明”一点（用现在流行的话来说情商高一点），我的肩膀上可能跟两个哥哥一样是三条杠（而不是两条了）。这个可能在现在看来很好笑，但当时是我真实的想法。我后来有一次还真的拿到了三条杠，可惜时间不长，因为我五年级很快转学了：也就“削官为民” 🙂
在我的外婆家（也就是大舅，小舅家）没有这个不能撬菜的讲究。八零后九零后出生的朋友们可能会没听说过”拿出来装样子的菜“：生活水平后来慢慢上去了。还有一个，后来也是听朋友提起，就是重男轻女，女生先不上桌。这个可能现在也好多了。外婆可能还是重男轻女的，比如说她会让我的表妹（跟我同岁）帮我洗衣服，等等，但是总的来说还好。春节在我外婆家的主要任务就是吃吃吃。我现在想起来她有时会问我们，早上，coffee time (宁波话想不起来了), 中午，点心时（下午三点左右），晚上各吃什么。
西方最新减肥药（处方药）以下是我的一些推（或着严格来说是X）。肥胖是西方尤其是美国很严重的一个问题，有个数据说美国成年人有42%的人偏肥胖(Source: National Institute of Diabetes and Digestive and Kidney Diseases NIDDK, NIH)。
(Update 12-31-2023) I happened to see this book “How Not To Be Wrong (the power of mathematical thinking)” by Jordan Ellenberg, thanks to my wife. On page 24, it talked about nicomachean ethics. Let me quote: Aristotle observes that eating too much or too little is troubling to the constitution. The optimum is somewhere in between; because the relation between eating and health isn’t linear, but curved, with bad outcomes on both ends.
Yesterday (11-24-2023) was Black Friday, and I think I haven’t done shopping on BF for a while. Until this year. We did a bit BF shopping, mainly for our 13 year old as she was interested. She seems know some of the deals including the Bose bluetooth headset (Costco has $120 off deal).
My Black Friday shopping stops: tried to go to the St. Louis premium outlet, but changed my mind at the last minute – going to the meadows at lake St. Louis instead. Showed the girls some of the buildings I worked in last 10 years: Enterprise office building at Weldon Spring /1
I didn’t buy the Hydro Flask water bottle yesterday. I bought one a few weeks ago, the wide mouth version.
Year 2017
It’s not the 1st time I bought Hydro Flask. I bought a few HF bottles and a coffee cup a few years ago (2017). And below are my stories.
Year 2018
Once my Hydro Flask water bottle leaked, and damaged my old MacBook Pro. I had to go to Apple store West County to get it fixed.
Year 2019
Once I lost my blue Hydro Flask at Denver shopping mall: I went back and asked around but could not locate it.
Year 2023
This time my 13 year old broke the iPhone XR screen (due to Hydro Flask?)
My 13 year old accidentally broke her iPhone XR screen yesterday, probably because she put the hydro flask water bottle on top of the phone and applied some sort of force. pic.twitter.com/Wy91Ziu7gN
Reading Time: 4minutesWhen I was little, my maternal grandma sometimes would say my elder bro is suitable for a carpenter due to his calm demeanor. This is just a picture of a carpenter (not my brother)
Surviving as an IT, especially a software developer contractor is not easy, from my personal experience and observations. I have mostly been an employee (sometimes people call it full-time), with a few stints as a contractor (my LinkedIn profile here). I worked as a contractor mostly because I needed to bring bread (or bacon) home, or in one case I needed to make a switch from software consulting back to a developer job.
Second class citizen
This reminded me of “second class citizen” label which I think it is how many H-1B visa holders were treated in this country. I think being a contractor is not easy in the sense of job security. I have my share of misery when working as a contractor – in some cases, the misery was not directly related to the fact of being a contractor, in other cases, it was. For example, once I made a dumb (but honest) mistake during my testing, I sent out 4 testing emails to real customers, the issue was somewhat like this HBO integrated testing email incident (I got the HBO email btw). I think that’s the main reason they let me go shortly after. When you think about it, do you really want to work for such a place (given choices)? In this case, I was the scapegoat for the incident, just like the “intern” was the scapegoat for the HBO email incident.
I think of this topic because, in the current project, I have been working on for the last 2 years, we have tons of contractor turnover, and it seems to me mostly the termination was initiated from our side. But I don’t have any input due to my career level or title. This is also one major downside of being a contractor – easy for a vendor to terminate, and also in some cases a contractor will become the scapegoat for some mishap or mistake in the project.
Sometimes or a lot of times I felt contractors are basically second-class citizens in the company. Personally, I don’t want to treat contractors like that. I am just stating some observations I have. There are exceptions: if the contractor is high skilled, works for the client for a while, or has a good relationship with senior management.
There are usually two scenarios in which a company hires a contractor, staff augmentation, and project outsourcing (the vendor company will staff a complete project team in this case). I have seen terminations in our current project for both scenarios.
In the past, in year 2015, when I was with Mercy Health, and working on the MyMercy project. And one day (April 2015?) we laid off all the contractors on the project due to the change of project direction.
Back to the Carpenter analogy, I do think there are still things a contractor can control in terms of her/his job security. I don’t think the contractors who worked on the MyMercy project have much control. But for the current project that I am a part of, it seems the people who were let go have one thing in common: basically in one occasion or another, they pissed off “the boss” (I would not name the names obviously).
When my maternal grandma joked that my elder brother could be a carpenter. Note carpenter is like a contractor or a skilled professional in the rural area where I grew up. I recall one carpenter built the 1st multiple stories house in our neighborhood: at that time, it cost more than 10,000 Chinese Yuan (RMB), and it was a fortune for all of us at that time. My dream then was to make 10,000 Yuan 万元户. Now I think about why my grandma said my brother could be a carpenter (and she didn’t say I could), one reason I think is probably I was not as calm as my brother 🙂
In the US though, probably applicable in China nowadays too, besides doing quality work, improving marketable skills, etc. A contractor needs to be a little bit more outspoken, and at the same time not piss off the client, the manager, “the boss” etc. The last part is really an art and not science. As one of my colleagues likes to say: one needs the “read the room” skills 中文就是察言观色的意思吧。Last but not least, something I learned over the years, is we all need to have some stories to tell (#storytelling). This is helpful or useful sometimes during job interviews, think of the behavior questions the HR or managers sometimes would ask: tell me a challenge that you encountered recently, how you overcame it, etc. Make sure you have those in your inventory and use them as you see fit.
(Update 02-07-2024) Personally I don’t recommend work as contractor – especially if one is the sole bread winner for the family. I understand in the US all employments are AT WILL, in theory an employer can lay off full time employee at any time (vice versa). || There are a few cases I think it’s okay to work as contractors: 1. 家里等米下锅；2. If it’s a consulting company such as WWT, Accenture etc., because they have bench time. Also they can put a contractor (consultant) at another client due to their connections. My 2 cents.
