stlplace

Category: Life Tips

  • How to buy a single family house in the Ladue School District – our own experiences

    Reading Time: 4 minutes

    “No short cut; and I wish I could get those sleepless night back but I do understand no pain no gain in life sometimes.” -MXU April 2023

    Everyone knows the prices for single-family houses (SFHs) in the US went up since the pandemic, and this is applicable to the SFHs in the Ladue School District (LSD) too. It may go up more than the national average. Luckily for us, we bought our starter home, a nice little ranch house, about 9 months before the pandemic shut down in March 2020, and we were grateful that we have the room to spread out, both for virtual school and our Work From Home (WFH) jobs. It’s not perfect, but it put us in a better position than the 2 bedroom condo we had earlier.

    I lived in the LSD since the year 2005: I bought a condo across the street from the Schnucks/Monsanto in April 2005, at a price which is the market top at the time. Note that condo prices topped before the actual housing/financial crisis in 2007/2008. At the time I have basically two choices, and I think I still made the right choice looking back. The other choice was a 1st-floor condo near Creve Coeur Mills Road and Olive Road (Parkway School District, PSD): the condo was facing north which is not the best direction in terms of facing (it will be cold in winter and hot in summer). Plus the LSD is considered a notch above PSD (this is probably subjective opinion).

    Since our 2nd daughter was born in the Summer of 2014, our 2 bedroom condo basically needs one more room, not in a hurry but in a time ticker bomb – as we believe eventually our younger daughter needs her own room. We didn’t put her in a separate room when she was an infant (same for our old daughter). When we hired a nanny when Sophia was a newborn, note it was customary to have some external helper in Chinese culture when there is a newborn in a family, the nanny had to sleep in the living room. My wife, myself, and Sophia were in one bedroom, Serenity the big sister took the other bedroom.

    Fast forward a few years, I changed jobs in June 2015 and started working for the credit card co., hoping to make a few more bucks for the new house down payment. I recall probably in the summer of 2017 I joked with a few friends that the SFH is out of reach. Also, I don’t miss the sleep deprived nights and on calls while I worked for the credit card co: it’s basically a “sweatshop” that pays better than a normal sweatshop 🙁

    In the Summer of 2018, we almost bought an SFH (Zillow link), and my wife had a second thoughts after realizing the house didn’t have a dishwasher. So we backed out after inspection while it was still in the cooling period. I really liked the backyard, but over the years I learned to listen to my wife. East or west, listening to the boss is the most important 🙂

    Fast forward one more year, Sophia is also about to start attending Kindergarten at Spoede Elementary, and we were looking at houses more seriously: we even got a buyer agent who is grew up in/familiar with the area, and has a good supporting team. For us, Luckily everything worked out for our current house in June 2019. We saw the house listed, and my wife liked it, we did not really negotiate the price – we paid the asking price. Another small break for us is we had built a bit more savings in one year for down payment etc, since the summer of 2018. Now I think about it, we made decision pretty quick, I did not even do my neighborhood check: basically come at one morning, and come at one afternoon to make sure the neighbors are nice 🙂

    I understand with the Pandemic and the SFHs price went up a lot. But we have zero control over things such as the pandemic, the economy, interest rates, mortgage rates, and so on. We do have control over ourselves, in terms of saving money, and being proactive. I heard a friend bought the house directly from a lady by knocking on the door, I have not confirmed but seems like a variable approach to me, as long as he/she asked it nicely. In another case, I heard friends did the SFH transaction privately. Both were done before pandemic, and the houses are not brand new. In recent years I did see more new houses come to market, after the investor buy/tear down/build much bigger 2 stories home etc. Another trend is the developers’ activities, such as I wrote it here earlier. Overall though, the supply is not catching up with the demand. One reason is sometimes the seller can afford to hold on to it, e.g., this century old house at the entrance of our neighborhood. I did a little research on the St. Louis county real estate website, and found out the owner likely lives in a mansion in Florida. The reason for my research was: I was thinking about investment property, and this one is close to where we live, and I walk by that house every day.

    Last but not least, I want to add merely complaining (or self-pity) is not useful, and here is Charlie Munger’s quick talk on the topic.

  • China Trip Spring 2023 – observations and thoughts

    Reading Time: 6 minutes

    At the Detriot airport #DTW Delta Airlines international departing gates, I waited for about 12 hours before boarding the PVG bounding flight. I walked inside the terminal from one end to the other a couple of times. I passed by the London bounded gate, and compared to the PVG bounded flight, I can sense the different atmosphere, on a few different levels. I had to admit I like the London bounded gate atmosphere better, it’s more festive. In contrast, the PVG-bounded flight has more stress, mostly related to the paperwork for the Covid PCR test. We know it’s not rock science per see, but because of recent memory, and I think in one incident Delta airline has to turn around the airplane mid-air (over the pacific), all this added to stress during travel. For practical purposes, the “Mandatory paperwork to enter China” in my earlier blog post should work for everyone.

    Aging Parents

    My main mission for this trip is to see my parents. When I was new to the US, a professor at Rolla complimented on the “respect elders” culture in China. To be more specific, it’s “Filial Piety“: Filial piety is a Confucian concept derived from Chinese culture, which advocates a set of moral norms, values, and practices of respect and caring for one’s parents. According to the dual-factor model of filial piety, reciprocal and authoritarian filial piety are two dimensions of filial piety. I heard this English word from a Chinese professor (Liu Ming) in 2020, the Chinese word for it is 孝顺. Along those lines, there is this line: 父母在，不远游，游必有方: 父母在世，不出远门，如果要出远门，必须告知自己所去的地方。 “方”指”一定的去处、方向，更重要的是指“方法”。 意思是父母身体健康时外出，要让父母知道你的去处是安全的。 如果父母的身体需要照顾，而自己又需要外出就“必须”安排好照顾好父母的“方法”，以尽孝道，即游“必”有“方”。What does that mean? Basically it says one doesn’t travel far if one has parents (to take care of). And if one has to travel, he/she must tell where he/she is going, make sure the place he/she is traveling to is safe. And last but not least, if the parents (are old/sick and) need care, he/she must make arrangement regarding take care of the parents.

    Many years ago, my father was not happy that I decided to come to the US for graduate school. He used his own example of not taking he Gao’kao 高考 (China’s college entrance exam) when he was high school senior, because he wanted to take care of this parents, at home. They were about 40 years apart. And I think in those days the average life span for Chinese people may be 70 years old. But I didn’t listen and I came to the US, did graduate school, started working and have my own family here.

    In recent years I tried to see my parents about once every two years, but the routine was interrupted by the pandemic and the control measures. Thus I didn’t see my parents in person for over 3 years, and as the border opened in Jan 8, and no more quarantine measures. I took the bait and booked the air ticket on Jan 29. The pandemic in past 3 years was not kind to my parents, and I can see they are aging. My mom who was outgoing, and likes to interact with her friend in Lao’nian Da Xue 老年大学 (elders’ university), as well as serve in the community, before pandemic. This social content of her daily life was cut, and I can see it had impact on her. My father who is more introvert, doesn’t have a healthy daily routine. I assume he looked at computer and phone for quite some time everyday, or watching TV. And he complains about his son going to America, consistently before my mom. I don’t think mom likes to hear that, plus I don’t know whether I should say it’s a blessing or a curse, but my mom lost some hearings in last few years as well. Her health was not the greatest before pandemic, and it got worse during pandemic. She was hospitalized a few times in last 12 month or so. She was happy to see me back for a week, after the 3+ years gap. And we are planning to get her and my dad some more help in their daily lives.

    I visited my in-laws too: they are in the same province. They live in a senior living apartment, and they can pretty much sustain on their own so far, including cooking etc. But they can buy food if they don’t want to cook, and the medical staff is nearby if medical care is needed. So their living condition eased our worry to some extent.

    Technology

    I have a twitter thread related to this. The technology in China has improved tremendously in last 20 years. One can see it from the high speed rail (gao’tie 高铁 🚄）, the popularity of EVs: there are many brands in addition to the well known ones such as BYD and Tesla. Mobile apps including 12306 (train ticket app), Alipay, WeChat (pay), and Gao’de Map are both popular and helpful for the most part. I am sharing some of the hands on experience below. Please note some of the issues around high speed rail as well (see this tweet).

    Facial recognization

    Boarding DL 389 (DTW to PVG), they scan the face instead of scan the boarding pass. Again one Chinese gentleman was wondering how they do that. Facial recognization is widely used actually, in the mobile apps too, in addition to the Apple build in FaceID. I saw the bank apps and Shanghai health QR code mini program (随申码小程序）are using the homegrown facial recognization technology. (Update 04-16-2023) Interestingly enough, today when I was trying to log into IRS website and get some tax for myself, and I found out the scanning of driver license and my face is also used. Basically what I did here is very similar to some of the mobile apps used in China. So we have some sort of technology convergence here. Similar for robots below. For example, today I saw the Schnucks robot “tally” charing by itself, which is similar to the food delivery robots in China hotel.

    Robots

    I saw robots for food delivery in hotels (Shanghai Hongqiao, and Ningbo Beilun), and robots for cleaning at Hongqiao hub (underground leve).

    Out of gate, I went to the Yong’he Da Wang （永和大王）, the popular Taiwanese place, and tried to use WeChat pay. It failed because I did not update my ID’s issuance date and expiration date. I was able to update later on.

    On the other hand though, I do recognize a lot of practice or technology are learned from the west. For example, when the nurse give new medicine and in-fusion, they would ask the patients name, DoB, the only thing I didn’t hear is the last 4 of the social.

    12306 App (Apple, Google Play): again this is the train ticket app. So upon arrival at the Hongqiao hub (from PVG), I decided to buy the train ticket, at the ticket counter. Note the human service counter is rare nowadays, a lot of purchase are done via app, website and the kiosk. So I bought the ticket, paid the cash, got the change, and got an idea of the approx. departing time. No paper ticket. The ID is the ticket (self scan the ID at the train station for checkin). Later I realized I don’t even know the train number. So I downloaded the app (I used it before), logged in, and saw my e-ticket there 🙂 Btw, noticed the score (rating) for the app are 3.0 (out of 5.0) at Apple iOS App store, and 3.4 at Google Play store. Not bad for a large app like this.

    At Beilun KFC, the cashier suggested I use the app to order. I gave her my phone, tried to download the app, it went to the US App store 🙂 So eventually they manually process for me every morning, and I pay via the WeChat pay.

    Human factor

    Again I don’t like the cigarette smoking, which is still popular in China: from the platform on Gao’tie (inside Gao’tie train is not allowed; regular train has a designated smoking place), to the street, and other indoor places (which in my opinion, it’s quite nasty).

    Yield to pedestrians at cross walk. Is crosswalk another thing China learned from the west? I can see the cars (the drivers) in Shanghai did a much better job yields to pedestrians, say compared to Ningbo Beilun (2nd or 3rd tier city).

    Drivers

    I like to chat with people, especially open-minded people.

    网约车司机的故事：郑州来的女生，去年十月因郑州疫情来上海(trying to make a living, as Zhengzhou was shutdown and she could not drive for a living). I notice that her mobile phone has a privacy guard screen 手机有防偷窥保护屏. She asked if there are Alipay and WeChat pay in the US, and I said they are rare. 她问我美国有没有支付宝，微信支付，我说没有或较少。She also asked the things that corresponding to Alipay and WeChat pay, I said credit card and Apple Pay 相应的应该是信用卡和apple pay。

    Back to STL, the Lyft driver is an immigrant from Hondulas || 圣村：31/2岁左右洪都拉斯🇭🇳来的小伙，感觉搞硬件比搞软件牛，因为他说是个人都可以学着学程序，而他现在还不认识一个可以把电脑组装起来的人：我说best buy 的geek squad, 和micro center 应该有人会装。他同时感觉中国比美国牛。我们讲到2001年9月11日，他讲到他大概十岁左右，他妈妈送他到私立学校有美国老师教英文。那天有人告诉美国老师纽约世贸中心被炸的事，老师当场痛哭。我告诉他那天早上我在电视上看到世贸中心有幢楼在冒烟，直升机🚁在傍边转，后来发生的事情对美国产生深远的影响。

  • China Trip Spring 2023 – logistics

    Reading Time: 6 minutes

    (Update 04-08-2025) After 2 years, the sim card I mentioned below no longer works. After the painful steps of taking pictures and so on, it gave an error message saying that “the number is already being used”. So, I no longer recommend it. We bought another sim card after return the not working one. Will post an update once we get the new one working.

    (Update 04-28-2023) Please note the airlines no longer ask/need #COVID #testing from April 29: 4月29日起飞往中国不再需要核酸检测，自测抗原即可。登机前航空公司不再查验检测证明，只需海关健康申报二维码。source: #flychina https://flychina.com/update.asp || This is good news 🙂

    (Original) I have a twitter thread here, and quite a few YouTube shorts or videos on this trip (hashtag: #ChinaTrip2023).

    But I think it’s probably worth an article or two for me to put down the life cycle of the trip, from planning, buying the tickets, to execution (the trip itself, flights, transfers, and entering/leaving borders etc.), as those tips may be helpful for overseas Chinese or some other international friends to visit China. I think it maybe helpful for me to refresh my memory too, for example, today at #STL I forgot where should I wait for #Lyft or Uber: the Lyft app itself says where, btw. I had to admit that I haven’t flew for a while: I believe my last trip via STL is the PVG trip before pandemic (Nov/Dec 2019). Another example, related matter, I forgot the allowance of luggage is one, and I have to pay either 10,000 miles (Delta Skymiles) or $100 (United Airlines) for the 2nd luggage.

    Air Tickets

    I bought mine at Expedia.com on Jan 29, 2023. Other good place to buy/check ticket is flychina.com. I flew from my city to DTW, waited for 12+ hours, and from there flew to PVG (direct, no more stop at Korea/Seoul Incheon (ICN) ). On the way back, I took UA 858 that’s PVG to SFO, and later transferred at ORD(a redeye flight from SFO to ORD), before coming home. There was some hiccup in terms of changes and posting the miles to the frequent flyer miles. I believe after I booked the United Airlines Mar 29 flight from PVG to SFO, United likely added number of flight per week, thus making the Mar 29 departure flight no longer available. That’s why I moved to Mar 30 departure date, and have the SFO to ORD redeye flight. The change process in the United Airlines website was relatively smooth. Another small issue was it was long time ago that I bought air ticket on Expedia.com, and unfortunately I still had the old United frequent flyer number on Expedia, as you may know United adopted the Continental frequent flyer number post merger (which I have in my United account). Long story short, as of now, we can claim the miles via this web page. The miles were posted for me immediately after I submit the form 🙂 Update 04-10-2023 NYTimes has an article explains the air ticket shortage situation – China Has Reopened to Tourists. The Hard Part Is Getting There.

    Get a China SIM card

    (04-04-2023) I am reporting back: this card is decent. It worked on my iPhone 5 (initially I put the new sim card in this old phone), after I turned it off and back on when the airplane just landed. I quickly swap it into my iPhone 12 on the subway (Metro line 2 from PVG to SHA, and I stayed at hotel near SHA, Hongqiao Hub). A student with Tufts U was able to make call to her dad as her sim card was expired. This card is called 蜗牛移动 4G in China (a resller of China Unicom 中国联通）. I am guessing it’s small reseller: the idea here is similar to MintMobile vs T-Mobile in the US (mintMobile is a reseller of T-mobile). There was one glitch when I was trying to get 随申码（英语：Shanghai QR Code) at SJTU Minghang campus. The guard said probably my internet on the phone was too slow. It took me quote a few tries to get it work. There are one glitch: no caller ID (and I don’t know how to fix it). Another tip is don’t worry about the “warning message” in Chinese regarding data usage. It will ask one to 充值，I did not read the descriptions on Amazon. But I just trust the title or subject that says 30 days 3G data. So I just ignore the periodically message asking me to refill. As I don’t see the internet stop working after the “data used up” message.

    Amazon associate link for the China Unicom 中国联通 sim 30 day card

    Mandatory paperwork to enter China

    Mainly we need the PCR test and also the health code (2D or QR code, commonly called 海关指尖码 in Chinese) via WeChat mini-program called “Customs Pocket Declaration“ or in Chinese: 海关旅客指尖服务. In order to fill out the form, one will need the flight number and seat number. This code has a an expiration time, but can be updated. Again make sure you have a smart phone and ideally the phone can get to Internet via cellular data, because WiFi sometimes is not very reliable at airports, and you don’t have to make this your weakest link for your carefully planned trip to see “long time no see” family and friends.  

    Check in at my local airport and get boarding pass at DTW

    My local airport agent asked for all the paperwork, but she still has trouble check in my luggages all the way to PVG. Her senior colleague (who looks like a Japanese descent) was able to fix. I also tried to get boarding pass for DL389 at the Delta Helpdesk: it was a fun experience for the two agents there as they don’t usually do that job. It’s usually the DTW DL389 (DTW to PVG) gate agent’s job. The latter gate agent talks a lot about the PCR tests and the health code before departure. They actually check all the relevant documents including the PCR test, before put a “checked” sticker on the passport. The boarding identity verification is done by facial recognition, btw, which surprised a senior Chinese citizen a bit. More on facial recognization latter.

    Entering China

    Show the QR code the 海关指尖码, then proceed to border agent. After that it seems pretty smooth, and I only saw the customs people check a (I assume) service dog.

    Leaving China

    Boarding pass plane open at 4:30 pm for UA 858 for 9:05 pm departing time. An older gentleman asked my help (borrow my Visa credit card) to pay the $100 extra bag fee (they don’t take cash or Chinese credit card). Note one still need to do a new health code (2D or QR code, aka 海关指尖码) and scan the code when entering the international boarding gate. The United gate agents checked in some carryons free of charge as they worry the overhead bin space is not enough for all the carryons. Similar thing happened to me (my carryon) for my SFO to ORD flight (in my case, once checked in, it goes to final destination without my intervention). So make sure you take out essentials (paperwork, phone, battery park, water bottle etc.) as you will need them for the remaining of the flights/journey.

    Re-entering the US

    One only need to show green card (for permanent resident), and their camera look at the face, as well as some finger printing scan. The agent who serviced me was not nice though. Note for those hold B and F visa, they will need to show the vaccination records when getting the boarding pass. This is not required for US citizens and GC holders.

    Tips for travel in China

    Mobile phone with data plan, here is one possibility to get a local number (Amazon Associate Link).

    Apps nice to have: WeChat (and WeChat Pay 微信支付) or Alipay 支付宝。#高德地图 (GaoDe Map) for navigation and get #网约车which is similar to Uber/Lyft in the states. I know WeChat and Alipay can get the 网约车too, similar for #滴滴出行。All those apps will need a mobile phone (likely with a Chinese cell phone number) as well as identity verification (not sure how it works for a US passport holder).

    Useful links and resources

    回国机票价格表和检测规定: https://www.flychina.com/update.asp (in Chinese).

    Also look at 美国-中国 直飞航班专区 section: right now there are direct flights between 6 US cities and mainland China (note the flights are not daily, the most frequent one seems to be the SFO to PVG flights, 5 times a week). The 6 US cities are: LAX (Los Angles), JFK (New York), SEA (Seattle-Tacoma), DTW (Detroit), DFW (Dallas Forworth), and SFO (San Francisco).

    If you live in or near those 6 cities, consider yourself lucky. Because the connection time for people from other cities can be long, and number of connections are usually more than compared to 2019: e.g., I usually transfer at ORD Chicago O’here before pandemic because both AA and UA offered daily flights to PVG. In fact, now I recall I took the United Airlines flight last minute in Mar 2007 to see my then girlfriend (now my wife, I have an old blog post dedicated to this). Did you notice anything interesting regarding the blog post’s published date 🙂

    What’s next and upcoming

    I think I will write up some of my observations and thoughts for my trip as well, e.g., the emergence of EV which is much more than just Tesla here. Or to be more precise, I understand it’s Tesla plus a few more here, such as Polestar, Ford Mach E, Lucid, Rivian and Ford F-150 lightning, but in China, it’s BYD (Build Your Dream) in the leading position, with Tesla following, and followed by Nio/Xiao Peng/Li Xiang (all 3 companies stocks listed in the US, they are $NIO, $XPEV and $LI), as well as many players such as 零跑汽车(Leap Motor, it’s traded in HKSE as HKEX: 09863): their C11 is very impressive, btw, I would trade my Sienna with it in a second. Too bad I live in a country there is really two choices: model 3 and model Y (I hate model X’s funky doors). What I really want is something like Leap Motor’s C11 (small SUV with 600 km which is about 400 miles range 🙂 || Incidentally I came across this article abut China EV industry – China auto show highlights intense electric car competition.

  • 不在国/华人里面扎堆

    Reading Time: 2 minutes

    Google search: 不在国人里面扎堆 （不在华人里面扎堆）: this talked about the Chinese students abroad like to confine among themselves, in terms of social interaction etc. I can sense it when I saw my niece was here for her high school and undergraduate study.

    Recently I realized some Chinese parents like to gather among Chinese parents as well. It’s not surprising and to some extent understandable for people like to gather among their races. I saw that during pandemic. But at the same time, as we gradually go back to the new normal, we should strive to step out our comfort zone.

    My take

    No need to be that absolute. Ideal scenario: now that we are in Rome, (for the most part) let’s do as Romes do. Otherwise why we came here at the 1st place.

    When I was in Rolla during my graduate school, I stayed at Fraternity with undergraduates mainly to learn more about the English language and American culture. At my first US employer after the graduate school, I was the only Chinese at the branch and I learned all the computer programming topics in English.

    Now that my kids go to middle and elementary school, I encourage my kids to play with the kids from all background. At the same time, I acted as the permanent DEI (diversity, equity and inclusion) rep in the PTA/PTO organization. There are always something to learn from other cultures. And we are not always the best, the smartest, or most hard working.

    One downside solely gathering among Chinese people

    One word (in Chinese): 卷。Look no further than the San Francisco bay area, among the Chinese kids. Many parents either went to ivory colleges (or other very good universities) for graduate school, and for them if their kids don’t go to good universities, it’s a failure both for the kid and the parents. I have friend who moved from bay area to Miami and one reason was to reduce some competition for his kids. This is true in the school district my kids attend, although they are still a bit young (7th and 3rd grades, respectively). But I can see the pressure going up as they progress through their grades.

  • “He can go to technical school” and teachers’ impact on students

    Reading Time: 2 minutes

    When I was in the 5th grade in village elementary school, once a teacher said to my dad (they probably knew each other): your son (me) can go to a technical school (they are like technical high school), but he needs to work harder if he wants to be admitted to college/university. This is a not too bad assessment for my dad, because in my case, going to technical school or 中专 means I will get out of the village and be a white collar worker down the road. This is a big jump for kids in village due to the China hu’kou system: essentially a person jumped from the lower class to the upper class. Also, I don’t think he said it out of a strategy of 激将法 (a way to motivate me), he was mostly giving an honest assessment at the time.

    Eventually I didn’t disappoint the teacher and my dad, I was able to attend college in China, via gao’kao. There are probably a lot horror stories on gaokao in China. Mine was I could not fall asleep as I was nervous, but nonetheless I was able to carry through. As my now deceased uncle (my mom’s big brother) liked to say: he (me) drunk the wines to help sleep before gaokao (I stayed at my uncle’s house during gaokao).

    I think I talked about my strict teacher somewhere in my blog (search for: “a very well-known counselor”). So I am not going to repeat it. I think overall my teachers had an impact on me (search: “When I was a middle schooler”) made me a better person both academically and otherwise.

    My old daughter is a 7th grader now, and she knows some good colleges and wants to go to one when it’s her time. And I just realized her homework load is not light, to say the least. And she has some very good teachers too. Once she told her she may fail the class, which was a bit surprising. Later I realized her teacher was mostly to make sure the kids do their work. Another time, she got this red carpet award, I am the proud dad here :-), and she told me winning the award was easy: she followed the teacher’s directions while some other kids don’t (yesterday she told me some kids using AirPods in the class, she did not give specifics re: which class). Now I realized with the tiktok and smartphone, today’s teachers have a much tough job than our time in middle school.

  • Car Accident 车祸

    Reading Time: 4 minutes

    Car accident is probably much more frequent than shooting in the US. But the latter usually gets more news coverage and much more attention. Here in St. Louis we know the shooting situation is bad. But the car accident and car/pedestrian accident are bad too.

    (Update 08-22-2023) Came across this car accident involves school bus in Ohio – UPDATE: Student killed, over 20 other students injured after school bus crash in Clark Co.

    (Update 27-Feb-2023) This one got national attention recently: ‘I can still hear the roaring of the engine,’ says father of teen injured in downtown St. Louis. Basically a 17 year old girl who came to St. Louis to play volleyball tournament and stayed at downtown hotel, was hit by a car and got both her legs amputated because of the injury. || And this one just come over the weekend: 4 killed, 4 critically injured in crash at South Grand Boulevard and Forest Park Avenue. || It seems aggressive/careless/reckless driving are the culprits for both cases. We know drunk driving is usually another cause. Other causes include totally avoidable issue such as “traffic signal got turned” (but people got killed in this scenario none the less, I guess the only preventable tactic is to avoid the intersection if known before hand, or drive slowly or carefully at every intersection pretending there is another car will not care about the red light).

    I heard about non-fatal accident too. I know a friend’s wife was recently involved in a car accident with school bus, on a snow/slippery day/road surface, when she was dropping off kids to school.

    Some tips I like to share: don’t drink and drive; don’t drive when I am really tired; drive defensively, don’t get upset or emotional when other drivers go crazy, ignore them and pretend nothing happened; last but not least, watch this YouTube video “5 Defensive Driving Strategies To Become A Safer, Smarter Driver” which is about defensive driving.

    Looking back, I think I did a few stupid things such as “fatigued driving”: once we drove from STL to Yellowstone NP overnight, we didn’t stay at the hotel in the night, just driving continuously. I forgot whether it was on the way to YS NP or on the way back, but the check engine light came on. And that’s not the end of the story, I recall on the way back, I was the driver between 1 am and 3 am, and I was really tired. Eventually I had to pull aside and take a break. I did a similar thing when I was a new driver, driving back from the training at West Lafayette, IN (where Purdue U is) to Rolla, MO (where my graduate school Missouri S&T is), and when I drove past STL metro area, it was between 1 and 3 am, and it was the 2nd time I drove past St. Louis 🙂 I recall changing the lanes for the right highway was both exciting and scary 🙁 Now I think I will tell my daughters don’t do this sort of things when they get driver licenses.

    (Original) Here is one just happened last night, a pedestrian was hit/killed by a semi truck on highway 44. I first noticed it from Twitter.

    Here is another one in which two cars were involved.

    And one more recent accident: “The Saturn was hit on the passenger side by a Ford transit van.”

    And this “A preliminary investigation revealed a gold Chevrolet Cavalier was traveling southbound on Halls Ferry Road and was attempting to turn left into a parking lot near the intersection of Halls Ferry and St. Cyr Road, when it was struck on the passenger side by a gray Toyota Camry traveling northbound.”

    ……I don’t want to add more. Or compare car accidents with shooting victims. This is not my point, my point is mainly on the safety and precautions in terms of driving or walking. Also, from the incidents above and common sense/stats, I think we should strive to get a car that’s proper sized (my personal opinion is Toyota Camry/Honda Accord or above).

    Personally I have involved in car accidents, mainly two collisions and one self induced accident (my own car, snow, slipped into ditch, good thing nobody was injured, and car was fine too). I am briefly explaining my accidents and also I like to emphasize the insurance rate will go up after we file claims (regardless who is at fault or the other party has insurance or not, something I realized yesterday).

    First my self induced accident. It was about 20 years ago. Christmas night. After dinner at friend’s house, we drive home amid snow. I was driving the 2001 Nissan Altima, and on the outer lane. I lost control of my car near an exit, and I ended up went out to the exit (not my intention, I intended to stay on 270), and ended up in the ditch off the exit ramp. No injury and no damage to the car. But eventually needed AAA tow truck and we cannot get out even with a few pass by driver’s help.

    A few years later, on my way home (get off work), I was hit by a left turn vehicle, again it was Nissan Altima. My bumper etc were damaged. The lady hit me had no insurance and my main loss was the deductible plus rising insurance rate after that. Initially the lady also ran away from the incident but I was able to find her the following day with some detective work (not recommended).

    Lastly it was last Oct. I was rear ended at a red light near Costco west county, it was my 2012 Toyota Camry. It seems I wasn’t hurt but the car was totaled.

    My takeaway is be careful when driving and try to drive defensively when possible. Don’t cut the lanes. Don’t react or be emotional when others drive crazy. Take needed breaks during long distance trip. Be alert and focus on road and surroundings when driving, don’t look at the phone etc. Listen to music (calm ones) or podcast. Remember the most important part is come home alive, and this applies to pedestrians and bikers too.

  • Some random thoughts on teen sports

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    Something random came to my mind the other day. I think overall our middle schools, high schools and some colleges *may* have emphasized too much on sports, especially team sports. I can see that from the NCAA Division I sports, basketball and football, etc. The reason I am saying that is twofold. We have limited resources, and I think compared to making sure every kid has some sports he/she likes/plays, team sports only draw a certain number of students (because it’s a selected team). And I think “make sure every kid has some sports he/she likes/plays” is more important, although it’s obviously less glamorous. Another phenomenon I saw is some kids started to specialize in some team groups fairly early (let’s say middle school, grade 6, or 7), at the same time they may not pay enough attention to academics and other things such as knowledge on “personal finance”. This obviously does not make much sense. But in this FB/Instagram/Reel/TikTok/YouTubeShorts world, I can certainly understand. Again no judgment here. This reminds me of a friend/neighbor who joked with me once: he volunteers at Human Society. He said, someone, paid $100 to adopt a dog, feels good, put it on FB, and never thinks about the long-term cost/commitment of taking care of the dog.

    I said what I said, and I understand sports has its meaning and importance too. For that matter, academic as well. It’s hard to be the best nowadays, on one thing. I learned sports is hard when I was young, in my 1st year of high school. In China middle school was 3 years, and high school was 3 years too. We have the annual sports festival which is basically a track and field meet for the whole school. Because our school then is a combined middle and high school, and each grade has about 4 grades. It’s a big deal for the whole school, I vaguely recall probably when I was in the 1st grade at middle school, our class even has a mercenary of sorts, because technically a girl who specialized in sports (yes, in China there was sports school for kids talented in sports even when they were 12, or 13, they go to this sports boarding school, with everything covered by the government). So basically this girl got all the gold medals she can get, in our grade’s competition. Now you decide whether it’s fair or not. This girl probably spent 4 or 5 hours training, and I think she is in Heptathlon (https://www.topendsports.com/…/athletics-heptathlon.htm), so basically she can earn us quite a few gold medals (things such as long jump, high jump, 100 meters, 200-meter dash, etc.) for our class.

    Note I don’t have that kind of talent. But I found a quick trick to earn some points for my class. I was doing okay for 200 meters sprints during middle school, likely because I got to adolescence a bit earlier than some other kids. During my freshman year in high school, that edge was going away. So I did the 400 meters. It was a tough race. Eventually, I got the No. 4 spot among 8 classes of my grade (yes 8 classes, with 50+ students each; assuming boy/girl 1 to 1 ratio, I was competing against probably 8 fastest boys out of 200). I was almost dying, as I hear my classmates cheer for me at the last 100 meters. Later on one of my friend told me I was really close to the bronze medal winner and I did give him some scare. He said: when you push hard, the other guy was scared of you as well. That’s something I learned out of that race. Psychology is definitely interesting topic including in the sports/competition. 

    Other benefits I can see from doing sports (or any other activities that we can see quick progress) are the feel of accomplishment and self-esteem. Please note this does not have to come with “beating the opponent” or “winning”. In a sense, as long as we did better today than yesterday, or we learned something today, that’s a win. Self-esteem or pride should not come at the cost of “beating down others or opponents”, again this is something the recreational or competitive sports/athletes need to keep in mind. In that sense, we all can learn a good lesson in terms of how to be a good teammate from the Cincinnati Bengals’ loss of game last Sunday.

    (Update 09-14-2023) Came across this post “Elite Club Sports Teams and the Dramatic Shift in High School Athletics” via FB. I agree. Quote the article: “Youth sports, now a $17 billion dollar a year industry in this country, has skyrocketed into a galaxy that is close to being insanely unrecognizable. ” (my comment: are NCAA sports similar?) || Personally I hope something like our 8th grader cross-country running for fun/exercises can continue. For team sports, I am aware of something like this – (I heard from Dr. Wipke our Superintendent, and some other parents about this). || Last but not least, it seems that in the 10th or 11th grade, they would have a really heavy course load, prep for college, etc., so finding time for team sports may not be trivial. That being said, a habit of exercise is beneficial both in the short term and in the long term.

  • Keep fit

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    I am trying to keep fit and I have been doing this for a while (before pandemic). This includes both the physical fit, weight and most recently, the iPhone addiction. Also as the weather is getting colder, and I am thinking doing a bit more swimming. Last but not least, I am thinking slowly going back to office: my office is about 5 minutes away.

    About 5 years ago, I started running (joggling), initially doing a few 5K races. I still remember I ran out of breath quickly after running probably a few hundred yards. I did better and ran longer over the time, until I ran a half marathon with about 2 hours 23 minutes before the pandemic shutdown. Did a few 10k and 5K, and trail runs too. But since pandemic and reopen, I did not do as well as I thought and hoped. Due to various reasons. This year I did two half marathon: the Creve Coeur (near CC lake and the bridge to St. Charles Katy trail and back), and the St. Charles (near research park at Weldon Spring). I finished but the time is not as good as 2020. I also signed one or two races last year and this year, and eventually bailed out at the last minute. Last March (year 2021) was due to the 2nd Covid Vaccine shot, this Oct (2022) I did not do the Inns Brook HM at the last minute as I felt my right leg is not perfect the day before. I do have a few frost bite series paid for but not sure if I will do it this winter eventually.

    Back to swimming

    At the same time, I decided to go back to swim a bit since Sunday (this past weekend). I used to do it for a few years from 2012 to 2017, at local JCC. My initial reason for running in 2017 was mainly to make sure I don’t gain more weight. From year 2004 I gained quite a bit weight, probably from 135 lbs to 155 lbs. I did quite a bit Tae Kwon Do back in 2002 to 2004 and lost some weight. The tough part is to keep it that way. One good thing about swimming this time: now I have Apple Watch (series 5) and it can track swimming (previously between 2012 to 2017 I didn’t have something like that). The other day I did the steam room, it’s probably the 1st time I went back since pandemic. Once I was interviewing for jobs in Seattle (in early fall / Sept 2014), I decided against it one Saturday morning when I was enjoying the outdoor pool with my family.

    Pandemic

    Working from home is probably not the best for me as I am not best at disciplined myself in terms of snacking. That’s one reason I decided to go to office, another reason is to be more focused.

    iPhone

    It seem the screen time for me is just way too much. I am using 2 apps to help me: Off Screen and MiiDii clock. I paid $20 total for both. I like the gentle reminder from Off Screen regarding “don’t use phone when walking”, as well as “pickup challenge” (default limit is 50 times a day). Basically I need to get off WeChat and other frequent used apps.

  • Alternatives to Facebook, LinkedIn and Twitter

    Reading Time: < 1 minute

    The three legacy social networks 🙂

    I have been using the 3 for a while, since 2008 to be precise. I started using LinkedIn after I switched job in Nov 2008 (amid financial crisis), because I realized I want to look for a developer job quickly after I jumped ship. I cannot remember the reasons I joined Facebook and Twitter. But both companies are under tremendous pressure nowadays, and both have lots of issues in terms of “doom scrolling” as well as their business model: the longevity of companies. For Twitter, bought by the worst richest person Elon Musk could have many implications as he was very much unpredictable. Facebook’s Mark Zuckerberg is in full control of the company (Meta) and there were lots of controversies in recent years as well.

    I think some people probably just live on FB, LinkedIn or Twitter. I don’t use much the newer and cooler social media such as TikTok, instagram or Snapchat. I may be too old for these. In addition to this blog, I am explorring the following, both on written and video contents:

    1. Medium
    2. YouTube (video and community). YouTube has a feature of custom handle: I still need to think about it (major1xu or oliveCapital)
    3. Substack (noticed Substack has some relationship with Twitter).

    PS: I am thinking minimize the use of WeChat too, and use LINE instead.

  • Rain, umbrella and persuade preteen wear jacket

    Reading Time: 2 minutes

    Seven years ago, when my 12 year old was 5, and we sent her to a summer camp. One day she came back in the afternoon with wet clothes, and we were upset and I sent angry email to the camp lead counselor (adult who is in charge). At the beginning of last school year (fall 2021), at the middle school, they had similar incident, in which kids wait in the rain for the bus, I recall there was a heated discussion thread on the FB private group (on Ladue Community Connect: more precisely the Aug 26, 2021 post). When I grew up I was taught in a culture to avoid rained on, and more importantly don’t wear the wet clothes for an extended period of time, as it will be bad for one’s health. On the other hand, until recently I started to appreciate that got rained on is not necessary bad. Something like described in this tweet.

    Yesterday morning, it rained, and we told our 12 year old to bring umbrella. She was reluctant, and later told me she doesn’t know how to open and close umbrella. I let her practice a few times. She took it.

    Dressing warm or put on jacket is more a struggle. Sometimes I was successful, other times I decided it’s not the fight I wanted to pick that day. Like this morning. It was about 40 degrees fahrenheit, and she was the only kid with a T-shirt. She probably put her jacket in the backpack. I waved to her, and did not ask her to put it on. I wish her well today. Hope she doesn’t get cold (I heard getting cold is not necessarily from lack of clothes 🙂

    PS: I posted it on Facebook, LinkedIn and Twitter. With a hashtag #preteen (daily struggle etc). And I got warning from the Twitter: “We put a warning on one or more recent Tweets because they might have sensitive content. If you think this warning is a mistake, you can appeal.” || I deleted the tweet.