Sorry for the long subject or title for this blog post. Next time I will try to be more concise 🙂
I just found a way to turn off the Lane Departure Alert feature on my 2020 Camry, thanks to famous mechanic and YouTuber Scott Kilmer: refer to his video “3 New Vehicles You Should Buy” at the 8’50” mark. The work around is turn on the left turn signal. This is handy when I had to dodge (or make room) for the bike that is on the right side of the road: in a two lane situation. But another thing to keep in mind, this is almost like passing a vehicle in a two lane road, and we need to make sure we don’t collide with the incoming traffic. I recall once near the Yellow Stone north exit, I got into this scary situation.
Over last week or two I realized that the driver side sliding door no longer open, even in the manual mode. I vaguely recall in the past, if I cannot open automatically, the manual mode usually still works. And this time it seems there is a block there. I looked around the YouTube, and found axllebeer has a video Toyota Sienna 2014 driver side sliding door malfunctioning. Incidentally a while ago I was thinking about how to fix the gap cap hinge. And there was a YouTube video on how to fix it too.
All 3 above are fairly simple one cause – one issue type of problem.
Last but not least, I did the larger maintenance item for Sienna at the 125 k mark recently: oil change, coolant and transmission fluid change, engine spark plugs, tire 🛞 rotation and a minor cable repair (rodent or squirrel 🐿️ caused). Regarding the oil change (change at every 5 k or 10 k miles), and transmission fluid, I slowly converted into the “TheCarCareNut” and Mr. Kilmer’s camp: that is change oil at every 5 k, also change the transmission fluid when applicable. There is no life time transmission fluid (there was a joking comment under Mr. Kilmer’s video).
This was actually the second dental office I visited in the US, it’s at Bridgeton near the #STL airport. The 1st one was near the apartment I was living at the time (River Des Peres and Chippewa Street, year 2004 or early year 2005). But the hygienist was quite judgmental to my dental hygiene or overall dental health. See, I came from China and we didn’t have proper dental care when I grew up. Also, I probably had too much candy (and sugar) when I grew up, and didn’t brush teeth properly. I did go to hospital (or dental office) at Chuan’shan (Ningbo, my hometown) a few times, to pull out the baby teeth or to fix some issues.
I am changing my dentist and the dental office I went to probably since year 2005. I have seen a few dentists in that office, but since this year, it seems they cannot get hygienist (this seems related to the labor shortage post pandemic, as explained here, and here. Btw, both articles are interesting to me.), also the dentist I was seeing in last few years is retiring. And last but not least, it seems the ownership (and the office name) changed as well. I still tried to call them twice in last few weeks, but they never returned my phone. And I think it’s time for a change.
I did my 1st root canal in the dental office I visited for long time here in the US. I did twice (the second time was at the recommendation of my dentist). I also saw a periodontist in last 2 years (again at recommendation of my dentist): I talked about this last year. It was basically a deep scaling.
Today I found a new dentist and dental office. It’s more close to where I live. And I saw them when I visited the St. Louis Kolache next door. And my 1st experience was good too. It just happened the hygienist and I both know a couple (my former colleagues).
“At that point in time in my life, I didn’t know what my track was scholastically. My mom worked in the public school system in my neighborhood—it was a good school system—but she felt like the young Black men were being tracked along the lowest common denominator, and she felt like she wanted more for me; the potential to be as fully realized as possible,” he said on the show.
I am fairly certain that Mr. Brown lived in Olivette (the city I live now), also attended Spoede Elementary School (where my kids attended). Mr. Brown went to MICDs for high school.
Quote: Deion and Demetrius, known as “Meechie,” were next-door neighbors. Both of their families moved in 2018 from Pagedale to the 9300 block of Rothwell Heights Lane.
My family experience in China when we (the 3 kids) were little
I think it’s fully understandable that all parents want their kids to be successful or do better than their parents when the kids grow up. Also many parents believe their kids are gifted.
My parents moved me from village school to town school in grade 5 and moved my big brother to a better middle school in 8th grade. Those moves were probably strategic helping us get into the Zhenhai Middle (High) School. The reason I said “probably” is my other bro just got into Zhenhai High School after graduating from our hometown middle school.
Some random thoughts
One thing from my own experience and observations is it’s very important for kids to have friendships during their adolescent age. As parents, we should all pay attention to that. No judgment, just to make sure they hang out with the right friends, don’t do drugs, solely focus on appearance or getting Lululemon, etc. You get the point.
Another thing, maybe more relevant in Ladue, is we have a diverse community in terms of economic conditions, and races. Try to integrate (from school, and parents’ point of view) and hang out with kids from all backgrounds, if possible. Some kids could really use some friendship. Remember Mr. B asked why we don’t let the kids pick roommates for the 6th-grade camp 🙂 Hint: don’t just hang out with the “cool” kids.
Our goal is we have one integrated school community.
Last but not least, this whole thing reminds me of 孟母三迁 story.
Equality
(Update 09-16-2023) Something I just recall. I thought of team sports. Note I don’t think my kids can make the Ladue varsity team, be it basketball or tennis, at this time. But a few years ago I did try to push my older daughter to the basketball, and we played a few leagues and games in the process. At one time, I think the girls wanted to get hold of one of their friends, but we could not because we didn’t have her mom’s (or dad)’s contact info. I tried to ask the school, but the school couldn’t give out the info. I recall the girls just passing out the info themselves. We didn’t get the specific girl to sign up for the team. A related thing I could think of, is we need to consider health insurance too, what if the girl didn’t have health insurance, what if she played basketball and got hurt? This is a uniquely American problem because in all the other developed economies in the world, there are universal healthcare.
For parents of the Ladue school bus riders: here is the SafeStop app (Android on Google Play, iOS, and the School Access Code is here). The app started working for me again (tracking and notifications, for the most part) on September 11, 2023 for the new school year.
I am on iPhone and I set up the bus routes (you can scroll down the web page to get to the route for each school ), added my kid (you may find your kid’s student ID either from the ParentSquare Android App, iOS App, website or the Infinite Campus), and added the bus to my kid, etc.
Here is a blog post that laid out all the common steps and screenshots, if needed.
If anyone needs help setting up the app, please let me know. I can do Zoom if needed . This app is not the most reliable app I personally used. But I also understand it gave some parents and caregivers peace of mind sometimes.
Yesterday, with the launch of Apple’s new iPhone 15, some people noticed that Apple released a new USB C to lightning adapter. And, it’s going to cost $29 dollars. Such a rip-off 🙂
USB C to Lightning adapter
However, few people touted that Apple kept the iPhone 15 price the same as iPhone 14, while at the same time slashing the iPhone 14 price. See the chart at the beginning of the post. And yours truly ran two survey on the interest in buying iPhone 15 last week too.
We all know the Fed is printing money like a drunk sailor, and with the pandemic relief in 2020, etc., there is much more money lying around. And it’s the major factor that’s responsible for the US inflation.
Reading Time: 2minutesPhoto taken at the Simmons Bank at Olive and Warson Roads, 09-11-2023
Today I saw the flag was lowered at a local bank, and I knew it’s the 22nd anniversary of Sept-11, 2001, and I still remember that day. That morning, I was watching TV before going off to work, and it appears to me something hit the twin tower, and there was helicopter responding to the accident. Note it was before both the towers came down. I went to work, and quickly saw all the coworkers glued their eyes to the TV, and I knew something real serious happened…
At the time, I lived in an apartment that was very close to the STL airport. And in the next few days all the airplanes were grounded, and I couldn’t hear the airplane sounds I used to hear before 9-11. That evening (9-11) was also a bit panicking as people started to line up to get gasoline (I didn’t join). Also, my company had a large layoff a month after 9-11 (that was a co-incident, as there was a layoff plan before 9-11, the attack just made the layoff worse due to the economic outlook).
I recall a lot of things after 9-11, Here is something from the History Channel. I recall President George W Bush said “Go shopping (and support the economy)”. The two wars (Afghanistan, which started in late 2001; and Iraq, which started spring of 2003). Also, the airport security was totally revamped. Came across the below tweet from President Obama and he ordered the assassination of the head of al-Qaeda, Osama Bin Laden (On May 2[a], 2011).
Today we honor the memory of all the brave souls we lost 22 years ago. May we always remember their stories, the courage of our first responders, and the sacrifices our troops made to protect us in the years that followed. pic.twitter.com/z7BZSWBgRQ
We lost a lot good people that day, and there are lots of memorials for them, such as this one.
“Stop crying,” he told her. “I have to get these people out safely. If something should happen to me, I want you to know I’ve never been happier. You made my life.” https://t.co/IYWLraN7zO
There is an error in the Chinese translation above, Rick works for Morgan Stanley not JP Morgan (摩根斯坦利，不是摩根大通）。Also this Rick’s action just reminds me of the movie Titanic: during extreme time, there are usually heroes (put other people’s life 1st), and there are also people who just care for themselves.
PS: I talked about the 9-11 at the Monday class at Webster U. And many students were very young when it happened. But they were aware of it and similar attacks in their home country (India).
I put the double quotes around because looking back I don’t think I would die. Probably “scared to death” is more appropriate. But at the time I was really scared. It was probably in my 1st grade or 2nd grade, I cannot remember exactly. Maybe my parents or siblings or the aunt who helped me can verify.
It was on the way from the village school to home, and for some reason the strongest boy in my class decided to throw stone at me. I could not recall if I provoked him. But the stone hit my forehead, and blood started bleeding from there. That’s the time I thought I was going to die, because I never encountered something like this in my life. Obviously I started crying, and the other school kids that were walking home probably noticed too. And it just happened an aunt who is a good friend of my mom (she is the accountant for the village and sits in the same office as my mom, if I am correct) happened to be nearby, so she put me on her back. And walked to the doctor’s office, which is next to where my mom’s office is. Note at that time, it was the “barefoot doctors （赤脚医生）”, because China then doesn’t have formal medical schools for at least 10 years (due to culture revolution). I asked the aunt whether I would die, and she said No. I probably asked this question more than once. Btw, he was throwing from a distance of probably 75 to 100 yards (meters) so it was not too bad in terms of the hit. I don’t know if the teacher gave him a warning or not. I would not think too much about it personally. A few years later, I made a similar mistake myself, I played too rough with a boy in the class, and his mom talked to my parents. A few years later, I recall seeing him in the Zhenhai Middle School too.
I think in year 2016, I walked to the renovated village office, and I saw one of the doctors picture still there. He probably worked all these years from 1980 until 2016. He is one of the doctors who gave us vaccines when I grew up in the village, as well as treating us very much like the urgent care does in the USA nowadays. Before elementary school the barefoot doctors would actually walk to every home and gave out vaccines to the little kids. And I would close the door, hide behind my grandma and tried to get away from the shots. That usually didn’t work. I probably said cursing words at the time too. When I started attending elementary schools, I could no longer act out, because I was the class president and had to lead by example. Nowadays I can see some of that from my younger daughter – she doesn’t like getting the shots at doctor’s office, usually the vaccine shots. And I saw little kiddos crying at the Covid shots place (Christian Hospital to be specific), I recall one of the Washing U doctor was trying to comfort the kids. And I talked about my “shot scare” in twitter a while ago. Such as this one:
I was that kid before I attended elementary school back in China (1970s). I would hide behind my grandma's back or ask my grandma lock all the doors to the "barefoot doctors" who came to give vaccines. My effort is in vain because the doctors know my parents (esp my mom) well. https://t.co/GVosjJmoEK
Just booked the vaccination 💉 appointment for my 11 year old. Still need to persuade my wife re: our 7 year old’s vaccine 💉 shot. I recall things were easier when I grew up: the “barefoot” doctor would come to my home or school to give shots. /1
Another time, I was almost drowning. Note I didn’t know how to swim when I grew up. I think one reason is our parents didn’t want us to swim (or learn to swim) at a big (water) reservoir (it was man-made). And we heard the stories of two guys (young healthy men) who died years ago when they swam there after work. Now I am guessing they were probably exhausted, and somehow their bodies or legs had some issue then. Because it’s a reservoir it’s static water and there should not be any danger from under current etc. Anyway, back to the topic, I recall when I was probably completing 3rd grade, and in the summer sometimes my parents would send me to my maternal grandma’s house, living with my uncle’s (my mom’s brother) family including my grandma. Once my grandma asked me to bathe in the pond, the pond was not big or anything, but it was quite deep, I could stand up at the edge but that’s probably it. So that day for some reason I slipped off the edge, and I probably screamed (again I couldn’t swim), and someone quickly picked me up. I recall running back naked to my grandma’s house, and the reason I was naked was my grandma didn’t bring any new clothes for me, and she took my old clothes and was washing it in the pond. Again washing clothes in the pond is quite normal as at that time the villages didn’t have faucet water. So the drinking water was usually from a well or from collecting rainwater. And for washing stuff etc. a pond, a brook or a river is common then.
Got Lost: another time, when I was with my maternal grandma at Chai’qiao 柴桥老街 street, I got lost because I didn’t follow her close enough, and probably she walked too fast without looking back (I may have gotten distracted by something). I think that day, a neighbor who probably knew my grandma, sent me back to my uncle’s home. In those days (before 1983), I don’t think there were human smugglers like today, so in theory, I was still pretty safe.
Probably a year later also in the summer, I was probably finishing the 4th or 5th grade. I was joining my elder brothers to 割稻 （cutting down the rice staunch before getting the rice kernel), and I barely cut probably a few yards, before my cut into my finger. So there goes my rice-cutting job for that summer. I still have scars from that episode. Talking about getting the rice kernels 打稻 (threshing rice), it’s actually quite dangerous, I heard people got hurt as the machine pulled in their hands or arms.
I recall the aunt’s son (the aunt who carried me when I was hurt), once got his legs either into another machine 水车 (water wheel) for some reason, and he had to amputated both his legs.
水车 (water wheel)
Mental Health
I don’t recall there was much consideration of that when I grew up. One of my cousin died from suicide when she heard her younger brother (not her) would take over the job from her dad, also she may have some other issues (I heard one of her eye may have some problem), she was probably a bit over 20. At my high school or college, I heard from my mom one of the girls in my village died from suicide, after her parents scolded her for dating a carpenter or something. She was one year senior than me. We went to the same village school (the elementary school).
(Update 11-03-2025) Come across this Chinese blog post 被裁员是祸是福 -没准是柳岸花明又一村 and I agree. In English it’s called blessings disguised as curse 🙂
(Original) A touchy topic. I have been in the tech industry for almost 23 years, and I have seen my share of the layoffs. I saw the layoff very early in my career, and the most recent ones in last year or so amid the big tech post pandemic layoffs.
Layoffs are usually not pleasant. But putting emotions aside, I recall an older wise gentleman once told me: it’s not necessarily a bad thing, as it gives an opportunity for someone to look beyond the daily grinding, to reflect, to pivot or reposition and hopefully find something better or more suitable for someone (not exactly words, here someone is actually yours truly back in the early 2019).
Also sometimes the old timers (the good old employers) will ask in the employment history section during a job app: have you ever being involuntarily terminated from an employer? While I am not a lawyer (my wife is), but my legal advice here is: this is somewhat like the situation when I was in the US Consulate in Shanghai back in 1997, when the visa officer asked: what’s your plan after the graduate school? One thing I was 100% sure is: I was not going to say that I planned to stay in the US for good 🙂 I think an honest answer then is probably “I don’t know” or “I am not sure”. Remember in 1997 although the Hong Kong was returning to China, at the time the US was still way ahead of China, with the exception of the Chinese food here. There were a lots more economy developments in China compared to the US since then.
Two traumatic layoffs that left me impression
It was Oct 11, 2001, a month after the Sept 11, 2001. We knew the layoff is coming, after our company bought a rival company. The day came and it was not the 1st time I saw layoff, I think I saw a smaller layoff shortly after I joined the company in fall 2000. But Oct 11, 2021 is probably by far the worst in my career, we had 3 coworkers being let go on that morning. I worked closely with one of them, and the coworker cried or sobbed when the news broke. Her husband also worked at our team. Later the department manager rallied or tried to console the people who being left (we had about 30+ people, mostly devs). And we also learned the overlapping dev team at the acquired company were all let go. I recall there were quite a few ethnic Chinese people, who probably had similar background with me, but they may have came to the US a few years earlier than me. A side note amid all this is a QA engineer (test engineer) was laid off, and a few weeks ago during a townhall he asked question to the CEO about layoff 🙁 That day the company laid off about 18% of the people, and that’s probably 1,300 people.
Another case, while at the Mercy Health, we also knew the layoff was coming. And this time around we lost our QA engineer again (see the pattern here?), as well as an old engineer who cried / sobbed quite loud. I vowed to myself: never put myself into this kind of position when I reach his age (which is getting closer and closer, btw 🙂
My own share of layoffs
I had experienced 2 layoffs myself so far. Both times I was a bit surprised. But I think the second time it worked out for me better as my severance package is better, also due to the timing, it helped us bought our single family house at the right time before pandemic in summer 2019 (so here is another side benefit in addition to the career pivot).
The 1st time it was a bit sour taste. But I was not totally caught off guard either. I know one or two project leaders (they are more like team lead, not managers) didn’t like me. And I couldn’t do much to change the situation (the dynamics). The layoff came, the admin assistant was really nice actually. Looking back I think she is one of the few people who probably knew a few days in advance. I calmed down and negotiated a calm exit before my China trip then (year 2011, I had to email recruiters when I was in China, which is not ideal). I got a contractor position quickly after I came back from China. In this particular case, I actually learned that individual who said bad things about me before my manager(s) once got into a fist fight with another coworker there. I think looking from another angle, avoid toxic people at work place is a good idea 🙂 I do recall the evening in which I just lost my job, and I went to the Bread Co, thinking I would probably spend say $15 off my $40k savings: I may have seen a friend there, but I forgot exact who etc. I did couple interviews before the China trip, and no offer before my flight 🙁
Technically there was another case that I was laid off, in Nov 2013, very briefly. My contract job ended and they gave me 2 weeks notice via my recruiter. And I recall I saw a “Lord’s Prayer” in the weekend I learned the news, while at a friend’ friend home attending the 1st friend’ baby shower. That “layoff” left me a sour taste as well. But luckily I was interviewing before this and was able to quickly secure a new job offer in a few days.
Strategies
I think the most important thing to remember is never assume your job is there tomorrow. Because we have very little control. CEOs came and go, and little guys (or girls) like us can be let go really at any time. Never assume your work is so important that your boss or your company will keep you forever.
Along those lines, make sure you have the urgent savings account, which should at least cover 6 month of living cost: thinking mortgage / rent, grocery, gas, car payment (if applicable), and health insurance (remember if you pay out of your own pocket, it will not be cheap, as companies usually subsidize some cost aa a part of the benefit). This part is important because it gives you a peace of mind when you got the layoff. Note not every company offers generous severance package. The money you have will also help you have some breeze room when looking for new jobs.
Also get prepared. Always get your resume or LinkedIn profile updated. Test the market once a while. For coders (programmers, developers, software engineers), make sure you do some coding every day / week etc., don’t just sit there and do nothing. Learn something new if there is not much coding work. Nowadays there are so many online free resources for one to learn. In face, in terms of job market, for developers (software development engineers), the job market is usually pretty good. So as long as the developer knows something and can contribute, he/she usually won’t be in the job market for too long. I cannot say that for other positions in the IT job market, e.g., recruiter jobs are very much business (econ) cycle, so there is this famine and feast kind of situation. Similar can be said for the Quality Assurance (test engineer) and manager positions. I saw a director at the credit card got laid off, initially that individual worked for a contractor position as project manager, until eventually going back to similar position as before: took couple years.
But again here we need to be mindful that we are the ones who are responsible for our own careers: e.g., there is a manager position opening up at a software company or an IT shop, and someone hinted that you jumping at the opportunity. Remember what I just said: in terms of the job opportunities disparity between devs and managers, or architects for that matter. At one time of my career, I did become an architect as well, but I decided that was not for me longer term. I like to be closer to the coding.
Tips
Remember try not to be emotional. Also you are entitled to ask “why the layoff on me”? Although the answer is usually “the position is eliminated” or something similar. Remember the employer usually has better resources in terms of legal expertise or lawyered-up. In reality just like in the situation of “being dumped by your significant other”, there is usually signs or legit reasons whey it happened. Ideally you should know and not be caught totally off guard. And hopefully you were waiting for the severance package. For that my advice is not to sign anything on the spot. Just like an offer letter, you may want to bring it home, cool down, talk to someone, before signing anything official.
Also sometimes looking back the writing is on the wall or the hints are usually there. Like the two traumatic (large) layoffs I mentioned above. Get prepared before the actual layoff happens (again refer to the strategies above). No need to overly worry about the look the admin assistant gave you though, just be prepared when you work for someone or a company, you know in the USA the employment is at-will: meaning people can let you know anytime. This is quite different from the families. And don’t got tricked into thinking company’s sometimes misleading “we are families” kind of talk. We are in a employee / employer relationship, for now. We don’t know what’s going to happen tomorrow.
Last but not least, don’t use your company device for anything that’s in your private life. An example, your kids pictures, your family pictures, if you have company iPhone, try not to use it for those sort of things. And if you do, as a minimum try to make copies and delete the pictures on the phone before turning it in. You know the iPhone has settings that allow you to do that, and do it as needed. You never know what other people are going to do to the company devices that you turn in.
Psychological Impact
I don’t think this is trivial. I believe just like being dumped by your first significant other (boy friend/girl friend, husband/wife), this “being rejected by someone” feeling is usually hard, but at the same time it’s also quite common and normal. If you always got what you wanted, and were never rejected by someone, congrats 🙂 I think some of the websites will use the first name or name of your 1st boy friend or girl friend as an option (btw, this does not work very well in the Muslim countries, from what I heard). The reason for that is simple: people would almost never forget that name 🙂
Over the time though, we can overcome this “being rejected” feeling. It never goes away. But it can be controlled, and hopefully we can direct to something or some endeavor that we can use our passion there.
Another potential side effect, is the stigma associated with layoff, which is totally unnecessary – and I touched those good old companies’s specific question “have you ever involuntarily terminated from your job”? Again not legal advice just ignore those. Things don’t always work out as we liked. As long as we learn something and try not to make same mistake (again and again), we are making progress 🙂
Job Search
Last but not least, some job search observations / tips. Related to that, some may point out that although in the US, the employers cannot discriminate against applicants’ age, in reality though, this is still a factor and most employers in fact have preferences on employees’ age. I recall in the company I worked for 8 years, and I know a coworker worked there for 40+ years, and I heard he was laid off after I left (I resigned from that company in Nov 2008, yes it was during the financial crisis :-(. His layoff has nothing to do with my leaving, and I believe there is age factor there.
(Update 09-10-2023) Came across this video “One peril facing job-hunters? Being ghosted” at CBS Sunday Morning. This is actually quite common during a job search, from my experience. Don’t take it personally and move on.
(Update 09-20-2023)How Virtual Layoffs Became The New Normal For Workplaces. Btw, I just learned another contractor got laid off at my work place (my impression is current work place is pretty bad towards contractors, as I was at the other end of the table about 10 years ago, they did give me 2 weeks notice, so it softens the blow a bit). Talking about contractors or contingency workers in the IT and software industry, this is a very common way for an employers to add more people when needed, and get rid of them when not needed. Quite brutal in the sense of “job security” or “provide for family”. Something to keep in mind when jumping ships. || Also from SubStack: Layoff lessons: Four things I wish I knew.
(Update 12-18-2023) Came across this blog post from a former colleague, looks good. From my personal experience, healthcare is a tough industry to work.
Reading Time: 5minutesThe VUE apartment, off Old Olive Road
(Update 2026-05-11) GRAESER STATION (not sure if CC will approve this). If my memory is correct, the neighbors rejected a previous redevelopment plan for a QT gas station.
At the same time, in recent years, I saw quite a few new apartments development along the Olive road, and all those apartments fall inside the School District Boundary. I think I even saw a sign for the townhouse project at Dielman and Olive road, and I quote: ……boundaries of the award-winning Ladue School District and its new $65 million high school & and current $126 million dollars of improvements to the elementary schools……
Naturally there is some anxiety among some current residents and some administrators (and school board members too?) regarding the potential crowding of the schools.
Pre-mature Worry?
From our recent past experience, though. This worry may be pre-mature. Two new apartments developments, the Vanguard Heights, and the Vue, did not bring as many new students as the school district initially feared. Spoede Elementary School made room for the apartments residents, but the apartment residents didn’t come to the party, for the most part. I don’t know about the Oliver apartment and Old Bonhomme Elementary, but it seems it’s similar to the Vanguard Heights and the Vue, from my casual observation.
Next up, it’s going to be the Olive Crossing: look we are going to have 181 new apartment units. Start panicking, people 🙂
And then there is this massive development at the former Bayer Lindbergh west campus: that one is planned to open in year 2025. Note the Olive Crossing project didn’t complete at the beginning of school year (2023 to 2024) as their banner said, so we may assume similar slack for the Bayer campus project.
One may ask why so many apartment developments. One reason I think is the soaring home prices (this is a national trend after the pandemic, btw. I used an example in Jackson Hole, WY in the recent CBS Sunday Morning video), rising mortgage rates, and the affordability and availability of single-family houses in the school district. Another reason is peace of mind in terms of not worrying about the home maintenance work (apartments) and yard work. Note for the condo or townhouses, the owner still has to be responsible or maintain something (AC, furnace came to mind). Anyway in St. Louis County, some of the houses in the city of Ladue, and Frontenac (both are located in the LSD) are expensive, along with the Town and Country.
My priority on school district
I think this is probably interesting to some new people coming to the district. I do believe most parents want the best of their kids when they grow up, in terms of education and career (or business) opportunity. I have lived in the district since year 2005. And in last 8 years or so, I have 2 kids going to the school here.
For the parents, I think the number 1 thing in the America (this is true across the world, I think), is the safety of the kids. When I say America I think people would understand the unique America problem.
Back at the end of the day, we do what we can, and we have to take some risks in life. As old Chinese saying goes – 因噎废食，we cannot stop eating food for the fear of choking. That way we will stave (to death).
Back to school it’s important to know the kids feel safe at school. Sometimes it’s small things, or small gestures, e.g., the other evening, my 13 year old suddenly realized she likely left the school iPad at library. Mom was worried, my 13 year old wasn’t. She said, she will likely get it back in the morning. So this is opposite to what I talked about the other day. Another time I learned from my younger one saying she fell during the recess, there maybe some push when the kids went off to the playground. But it’s really minor and I don’t think the kids were doing it intentional, if any. Middle school may be a bit more challenging though, from what I heard. And there is high school.
“Los Altos High School culture pushes students to participate in a college applications rat race, piling on taxing course loads and extracurriculars in an effort to stand out from their classmates in college admissions.”
I think this is a thread probably worth its own post, and I will write more as my older one going to high school next school year 🙂
I think of one reason that the developers build more apartments in the St. Louis area (both city and county) than single families houses is due to “perceived lack of demand” for single family houses, and I just noticed other booming cities have more housing development, as shown in this YT video.
Other apartments developments I saw/heard recently: Kirkwood downtown, Westport, Grand Ave (near SLU) and Manchester (near Sam’s Club).
Agent brown is the name my girls gave to the AirTag I used to attached to the car key (it has a brown holder) and later my older daughter attached it to her brown wallet. We lost agent brown. Saturday, to be more precise, 8/19 evening, at about 6:42 pm I got a text message when I was driving my girls to the premium outlet. The text message is from Amex, and it said “fraud alert” and someone tries to use S8’s Gold Card at a place called “City Gear” for about $280 worth of merchandise. The store declined it and thus the text alert from Amex.
Basically an hour ago my 13 year old lost her purse at the JCreve Coeur girls locker room. She said there is no lock but I cannot verify. We didn’t know then, until the thief started to use the Amex card in her purse and thus triggered the alert from the credit card company.
We were already very close to the Premium Outlet. And I started to call Amex shortly after I get there. To make the card is marked as lost, and also found out two pending transactions at QT. Those 2 transactions will be disputed. After we talked more, it appears someone took S8’s wallet from the girls (kiddos) locker room. S8 said the locker is not lockable. And because she put one of my airtags in her wallet, and I can see at one point the wallet location was at the City Gear (Gravois plaza, or City Gear, 3519 Bamberger Ave, St. Louis, MO 63116). I can even see the location of this person’s home (which I won’t post, I enabled the lost mode and the last location seems to be at someone’s home, at 7:08 pm), as well as QT location (which can be seen from the Amex website from the pending transaction).
A while later after we got home, we found there is even a text message with a time of 7:25 PM saying “I found your wallet” on S8’s phone (she left a number on the wallet).
After some discussions, we decided not to reply back to that text.
This whole episode seems added some excitement to an otherwise uneventful Saturday evening.
I recall when I was in college, my wallet was picked by a thief when I was at a crowded bus (I realized quickly after I got off the bus), another time my drawer in the dorm got broken into and money was lost. In the US, I recall when I was a graduate student, once I lost a digital camera which I left in my office.
I guess this can turn into a good lesson in safety and security (privacy) for our older daughter as the material loss is fairly small.
Peace of Mind
A side note of all this is the Amex and Apple AirTags seem both gave us peace of mind, they provided more transparency than a traditional wallet loss (such as my loss when I was in college in Wuhan). At the same time, I don’t too much curiosity is a good thing. || (update 08-21-2023) it appears the two fraudulent transactions at QT got posted, I opened dispute in the Amex website.
PS– be vigilant: I recall when I was working for the credit card company, on the loyalty and rewards platform, I was tasked to investigate the “fraudulent redemptions for airline tickets and hotel reservations”. It appears the thief (or thieves) got hold of the victim’s personal email and password: the same email and password are used in the rewards redemption website which was operated by the credit card co. Let’s just say the email provider is Yahoo. So from the victim’s point of view, it’s really not a good security practice. At the time though, it was also the 1st time I encountered a sophisticated thief like that and I started to doubt the “evilness” of some criminals. My daughter is 13 and was more thinking about the “goodness” of the people, e.g., she would try to find an excuse why someone would steal her wallet (maybe someone needs the money for food). I don’t know, I would not say she was “woke”. But at the same time, I think we should all be vigilant.
PS 2: handle of loss. 旧的不去，新的不来 (Out with the old, in with the new)。I understand many people want things back, and my daughter is no exception. Recently I started to realized and reconfirm sometimes we just have too much junk (which I discussed below). As a parent I am certainly quite protective of my kids’ feeling got hurt etc. But again we live in a real world. And this sort of thing does happen.
. This app is not the most reliable app I personally used. But I also understand it gave some parents and caregivers peace of mind sometimes.
