I debated a bit between Toyota Sienna and Honda Odyssey at the time, decided to go with Sienna because it appears Odyssey may have transmission issues as it ages.
Overall I am quite happy with my purchase.
Main repair costs
The rodents (squirrel): the main reason was I didn’t have a garage between summer 2013 and summer 2019. And I had to park outside: I usually parked at the same place, and on some work from home days, I didn’t move the car. It took me a while to figure out the rodents don’t like the orange smell of the “Bounce” dryer sheet, and I was able to use that to keep them away. I also moved the car around as needed.
The tires: which is not unusual. Because it’s a bit heavy. But proper tire rotation and balance, and wheel alignment will help too. It seems I usually got about 40 k miles from a set of tires.
After quitting alcohol, I am substituting some of my daily coffee ☕️ with green tea 🍵. I tried to cut off coffee completely in the past too. But it seems coffee is a more addictive substance, at least to me, because I would get headache in the afternoon if I didn’t drink the morning coffee. So right now I am only moderating coffee consumption.
Also probably more importantly I believe longer term green tea will be better for my health.
As I read the benefits of green tea from food and wine magazine via Apple News: “
Turns Out, One Simple Drink Could Be the Key to Better Sleep, Sharper Focus, and a Happier Mind
According to new research, this centuries-old beverage supports long-term brain health by dialing down inflammation and balancing hormones, leading to better sleep, steadier moods, and sharper focus.”
Sara Blakely intentionally embarrass self: this reminds me of I may want to do this to my kids occasionally. Both my kids are quite shy now.
an image of Sara Blakely LinkedIn Post
Public Appearance on Internet, and social media in general
Something related to this, partially due to pandemic, we are seeing the booming of live broadcasting on social media, such as TikTok, Douyin or Youtube.
Something interesting, or obervations from Jamie Zhong, she said on DY, people usually come to listen to her songs, while at WeChat, some people come to listen to her talk. I guess it goes both ways, for people who are freelancers, or no longer go to office, there are very little real human to human interactions nowadays, and broadcasting gives a meaningful way for people to interact, or talk.
Also 在M记等一个不会来的人 and I am quoting the album description below (it’s written by Ayen何璟昕, btw）。
I did Toast Master in 1998. I led Math Fact Scholars between 2019 and 2023 (including a break during pandemic), Spode Passport Night (twice), taught at Webster University for a year, St. Louis high schools catalyst program (once). Presented at work including when work as graduate research assistant (since 1998 ).
Fraternity (1998 to 1999): main goal was to learn English
Most recently I drove for Uber (288 trips total in about a year).
I had to provide both Uber driving and tech support for my younger daughter – she wants to print a PDF file on her school iPad. The file is available on google drive in her school google account.
It’s the 1st time I am using the printer at the new County Library the Clark Family Branch (it used to be the HQ before the rebuild). I think initially we tried to log into her school google account on the PC dedicated to the scanner. That didn’t work. I asked her to log into google drive on my iPhone. It worked. But there are no “Air Printer” from my iPhone. Also per school IT policy, she could not share the file with me because I am not a school employee.
So there is how I did: I made the file available offline. Then I went to Google Doc app, and shared the file via “send a copy” aka email to myself.
Later I log into one of the library computer, and logged into my email there, and click “print” (we gave the job a name). There are one more thing before the printer job will go though – there is a computer between the two printers (the black/white and the color printers). And I log into that computer and approved the “named” print job. Each library patron gets $5 printer credit each month, and it’s enough for small printing job. If not, I believe they take cash or credit card.
Last but not least: you will need to bring your library card in order to use the computer and the printer at the library.
PS: we have printer at home and it supports air print: meaning we can print it from an iPhone or iPad. But this time our younger daughter wants color printing and our printer only prints black and white.
(Update 11-21-2025) So S6 wants to print color copies for a file in Canva app on her school iPad. The process is similar, I asked her to export the document as PDF and save it to her Google Drive. Then on my personal iPhone she was logged into the Google Drive app, I just need to send the PDF file to myself. Tomorrow I am going to print out the file at country library. Again all this is to get around the issue of she cannot share file directly with me. So we have to do it in 2 steps (via the intermediary of Google Drive).
And recently I gave more thoughts on activities that is not work related. And my conclusion is I need to take care of myself 1st. And it’s okay to have 2nd thoughts or change mind. For example, I think it was probably 9 days ago, I realized I have 3 things to do in about one hour or so. So, what did I do: I changed my mind and only did the 2nd thing, the most important thing, which is to drop off S8 our old daughter to the pep band (for the HS football game). I skipped the 10th grades (sophomores) parents’ happy hour, and the Ladue Education Foundation celebration of 20 years, both activities I signed up earlier, but I am not VIP at both activities, and I don’t need to be there. I dropped off S8, I took a peek at the LEF thing and went home. Later on, that evening, I came to school and pick up her – because the following morning she needs to go to a Cross-Country Race/Meet.
It’s okay to say NO. I used to think “saying NO” will hurt people’s feelings, but at the same time I just realized “saying too many Yeses” will hurt my feeling. I learned the lesson the hard way recently too – and after I realized it, I started saying NO to a friend who thinks I have nothing to do during the day for my WFH job.
(Update 01-01-2026) Yesterday evening Mr. R called and asked for a favor when I was at Pan Asia grocery store. I said I was not at home. She said she needs a ride at about 6:30 to 7 to go to the bar. I said okay. At about 6:15 pm I was home, Mr. R called again, and she said if she could drop off something before going to the bar (her daughter’s ask). The place is 13037 Old Farm Dr., I was not nervous about it as I drove for Uber this past year, and this is at a middle class neighborhood. But after dropping off the thing (she said clothes) I had some uneasiness – as I don’t know what it exactly is. Maybe her daughter was doing some delivery job? I hope it’s the case. I think from now on I really need to politely decline those kind of asks because it made me not comfortable.
I talked about my recent exercise trend here. But I think I need to focus on my sleep a bit more, as in recent years, due to various reasons, I didn’t get the necessary sleep and that is taking a toll on my health.
Fortunately both my last job and my current job are less demanding, and less stressful. But I am getting older too 🙁
Recently I started to listen to music during sleep. That alone may not be the best solution for “not being able to fall into asleep”. But I am fine tune it, as well as adjusting so that I don’t listen to my iPod Nano (I talked about it here and here), or a new MP3 player I bought the whole time.
Also, back to exercise, I think in addition to swim or walking, I am going to focus a bit more on meditation, such as breath on Apple Watch or Yoga via YT (see my YT Yoga playlist).
PS:
I got to see my uncle (my mom’s little big brother, who is 89 years old) this summer. He commented on the sleep problem we have. He said, not exact words, but why we are worrying about things in the night? His point was we probably had too much stress from our day job (which is probably true). Back to the time when he was young, he probably doesn’t have the material things we have now, but he is much happier. Probably one reason he lives to 89 🙂
(Update 10-17-2025) I just came across this at FB “What is Success? Success is being able to go to bed each night with your Mind at Peace.”
PS 2:
To my fellow HS students’ parents especially parents of student athletes: now we have this AI thing – let AI do the work and let our kids and all of us have some more sleep 😴 (not my words, coach and my uncle’s words – they are wiser than me. Okay I added this AI thing for dramatic effect [捂脸]). Btw, tonight is the blue and white night at #LHWHS and if you have time (no impacting on your or your kids sleep schedule): the girls powder puff flag football game is fun to watch. #homecoming #powderPuff
I did one thing similar: something I mostly figured out my own, with some inputs from friend(s). I listened to Cantonese music (slow music, more like lullabies). Do you want to guess which musicians (singers) I listened to most often? Btw, I mostly use my 13-year-old iPod Nano (as shown here). Because it doesn’t have the fancy stuff on my iPhone and won’t pull me into the blackhole of “doom scrolling”.
I think in theory at least, a podcast or a book would do the similar trick. I mostly just listened to one song non-stop (loop) – a side benefit is it saves the battery of iPod Nano.
I have a friend who is by no means rich, but I saw the friend orders food delivery often. For me personally I usually order the store app and pick up food myself, and occasionally I order via Uber Eats or Grub Hub (also self-pickup). My Amex Gold card has some benefits for both apps: $10 cash back for each app each month, note the card has an annual fee that kind pays itself. For Uber Eats I bought discounted gift card at Costco. I just noticed today that Grub Hub price is slightly cheaper than Uber Eats, which the article also confirmed.
One thing though: when scrape the Uber Eats physical gift card, always do it via a coin, and do it gently. Don’t make the mistake I made on the bottom card: initially I though I can peel and see the code. I was wrong and almost lost $50 due to my stupid mistake 🙂
My uber gift cards: already redeemed. Make sure you don’t make mistakes that I made on the bottom gift card
I didn’t realized I am privileged
I just realized that when I made comments above, I didn’t realize that I am somewhat “privileged” in terms of I have the flexibility of working from home and can pick up food myself if/when needed. Not every job offers this kind of flexibility. But at the same time though, I still need to make up the lost time in the evenings or weekends when it’s applicable. Also, I actually helped that particular friend quite a bit whenever I was called and when I can.
Re: the “when I can” part, more recently I also realized that I need to make sure that I take care of myself: including my family and my work first. This is a bit touchy topic and I will talk more about it when it’s the time.
I think it’s time. Right now I am only drinking the non-alcoholic beer. I may quit that too. I never tried non-alcoholic wine, but may taste it once later on.
I think my main motivation factor is better sleep, as I talked a bit here. But there are other concerns: mainly around driving as I got my Uber duty for my kids. Also eating, which is related to sleep too.
It looks like I tried quitting about 3 years ago. I have since quit whiskey. Btw, I never drunk whiskey before I watch the Netflix show the Ranch.
Note in last 20 years or so, I don’t recall I ever got drunk once. But I do recall once, more than 20 years ago, I did had too much alcohol at my home, probably my house warming party or something, and I ended up calling up other friends and talked too much… 🙂
Note DUI (driving under influence) is a big problem in the USA. And it’s something one should never do. Because I have Uber duty (mentioned above), I think quitting drinking completely also removes one factor when I am on the duty.
Somewhat related to this: I recall a few years ago, when our older daughter was with the St. Louis Children’s Choirs, the artistic director who is a bit older than me, told the parents of the Concert Choir kids, that we write down her cell phone number and give the number to our kids. The reason is she cares deeply about the kids, and she want the kids to know, they can text or call her anytime, even when the kids are drunk or something. I think I am at this stage of my life too, if any of my family members or friends truly needs urgent help, I can be there.
When I was much younger, note I grew up in China and there was no legal drinking age. I remember a few incidents such as this one (in Chinese), I drunk some wine trying to help me fall into asleep – the results was not very good, I think. Before I was 10, I recall two incidents in which I drunk too much alcohol, and I just went to bed and slept. The other notable drinking time was around time I graduated from college.
I will update this post as time goes. Action is louder than words.
(Update 09-25-2025) I came across this tweet (a very short video) about addiction, and I found it’s helpful. There is a longer both English and Chinese versions here. The talk is actually a Ted Talk – Everything you think you know about addiction is wrong | Johann Hari | TED (YT link here).
If I can extrapolate a bit, I think a lot of times we put too many “artificial” (self-made) constraints around us and thus limiting us to achieve our full potential. I was thinking I did this to myself many times in my life, and probably many friends suffered from similar syndrome too.
The best time is now; the second-best time is tomorrow. –anonymous
After 25 years career I finally got an office with windows
Career
Per my age and typical stereotype, I think I am expected to wind down my career in the software field now (my LinkedIn profile here). I understand career is more than a LinkedIn profile or a resume, but here in the USA IT IS one of those things that MATTER, in addition to title, experience and compensation history. Useless or but fun fact: I started my LinkedIn profile in 2008, about 17 years ago.
US companies are mostly snobs, in my not too humble opinions. I mean CEOs or the higher ups, not the average Jane and Joe. Doesn’t matter whatever they say publicly – their mission is making money for the owners, not for employees. This is quite obvious from the recent high-profile layoffs such as Amazon laying off 14,000 back-office people/white collar workers last week.
And I have my favorite quote related to that topic too. When questions by reporters why he took $55 million exit package in 2002, when he was forced out, former CEO of EDS, Electronic Data Systems, Dick Brown famously said: I have an expensive wife. I know I know, I don’t have expensive wife. But I also have two daughters who like to buy things. Or should I ass that they have good taste? 🙂
Sorry a bit off topic 🙂 Last month (Oct 2025) I passed 25 years’ work anniversary in the USA. I started working here on Oct 2nd, 2000. A lot has changed since I started working here. I have seen quite a bit of industry underwent paradigm shift. From the Internet bubble (web 1.0) burst to web 2.0 (remember delicious, Flickr and digg.com?). And now we have web 3.0 and more. My career wise, I changed from working in the CAD software to mostly enterprise web applications, with a bit of consulting and iOS dev in between.
I don’t want to be forced out
I have seen coworkers who are about 50 years old, being laid off, at multiple places. Some of them were caught off guard. I was much younger or a bit younger then. Now I am at that age. And I don’t want to be in their shoes. I have literally seen grownups crying when they got laid off.
Also, right now I felt I can still do some meaningful work. If the time comes that I feel I cannot contribute in a meaningful way, I will just quit.
Re: AI, we all know the AI is causing a lot of disruptions and anxiety among IT/software workers nowadays. But I also believe at least for now, my job is not impacted. And if I can learn those AI tools and they can actually help me doing my job.
How much money is enough
One problem is most of us don’t know the answer to “how much money is enough?”. Or my favorite answer is “a little bit more” (it’s both a joke and also has some truth to it).
But seriously I need to think about this question as the date of retirement is approaching, either I want to face it or not. Some of the things I am thinking about regarding this topic.
1. My retirement is probably going to be different from my parents’ retirement. They have a more traditional retirement. My dad has a pension, and I don’t. And they stopped working completely when they retire. I think I will likely do some work (not too strenuous), for example, I will manage my 401k and IRAs, as well as doing other things I like to do (music, walking outside, does that include swimming??? 🙂 And some social life too (not drinking at the bar, I mean probably I am good enough, I can play music at the bar, again just for fun, not for money 🙂
Do I continue to mow my lawns? If I am health enough and feel like it. If not, I can either outsource it or sell the house and move to a townhouse or condo. Note selling the house will be a joint decision not solely mine.
2. I will probably have some hobbies and some travel. But probably equally important, I need to manage my 401k and IRAs, making sure they have decent return and will last. This is also something my parents don’t do. Sorry I am getting repetitive here – signs of my age and the need to retire 🙂
Still TBD as of 11-03-2025 (JIRA board doesn’t look good in terms of velocity 🙂
I need to calculate how much my 401k and IRAs were earning in last 35 or 10 years or so. If the total earnings (capital gain + dividend) are approaching my take home pay of my day job, that will be a good sign. Obviously, I need to fact into my financial obligations: the big-ticket item will be my kid’s college costs, and it will also be a big unknown because the US higher education industry is very similar to the US healthcare industry in terms of price transparency 🙂 You may read more about the college cost here as I learned last year. Note that’s applicable for the American students only (I assume US citizens and permanent residents, not sure about the children of visa holders), and not for the international students. Consult an expert on this topic, if applicable.
3. When applicable, I am thinking some side hustles including but not limiting to Uber or eBay to make some money and have something to do.
Cannot counting on that for meaningful amount of money though – ideally main income stream should come from investments, as said in this old saying “if you don’t make money when you sleep, you will work until you die.” I for one definitely don’t want to work until I die.
I have a Mac Mini, and I owned it for quite a few years now. I bought it at Costco St. Peters store, at around Christmas 2021. I used to use it to get to Citrix via Citrix Workspace, the remote desktop software that I used for work. The main reason I prefer this over the company provided IGEL product is I like the keyboard and touchPad for my Mac Mini better than the IGEL’s. I no longer uses Citrix as my employer switched to another software for remote work, also they provided a company laptop for work.
But I still have the Mac Mini, and sometimes I like to see my kids use the Mac Mini, instead of the laptop. Because the Mac Mini (the desktop) is in a public location, and I know what they are doing there. My older daughter (15) has the MacBook Air too: and not surprisingly she would goof around much more – aka doing TikTok etc. compared to do real things at the desktop.
Other benefits of a desktop computer is a larger display or screen, and family members can work on something together, if/when applicable. This is similar to the good old days, when we work in office, we have desktop or large screen, we can do pair programming or debugging together.
If you have limited budget, and don’t have extra money for Mac Mini or something similar, I fully understand. And if you have an extra display, you can still connect the laptop to the external display, to take advantage of the real estate. In fact, I think I have one or two extra external displays, if you are in STL area and are interested, shoot me an email at minjie dot xu at gmail dot com, and you can pick it up at my home at Olivette (aka 橄榄村)。
Separately, I just bought a new iPad for myself. I hope to use iPad more often (instead of iPhone). This has been my goal, but previous effort (a Samsung Android tablet) has been fallen short.
