I put the double quotes around because looking back I don’t think I would die. Probably “scared to death” is more appropriate. But at the time I was really scared. It was probably in my 1st grade or 2nd grade, I cannot remember exactly. Maybe my parents or siblings or the aunt who helped me can verify.
It was on the way from the village school to home, and for some reason the strongest boy in my class decided to throw stone at me. I could not recall if I provoked him. But the stone hit my forehead, and blood started bleeding from there. That’s the time I thought I was going to die, because I never encountered something like this in my life. Obviously I started crying, and the other school kids that were walking home probably noticed too. And it just happened an aunt who is a good friend of my mom (she is the accountant for the village and sits in the same office as my mom, if I am correct) happened to be nearby, so she put me on her back. And walked to the doctor’s office, which is next to where my mom’s office is. Note at that time, it was the “barefoot doctors （赤脚医生）”, because China then doesn’t have formal medical schools for at least 10 years (due to culture revolution). I asked the aunt whether I would die, and she said No. I probably asked this question more than once. Btw, he was throwing from a distance of probably 75 to 100 yards (meters) so it was not too bad in terms of the hit. I don’t know if the teacher gave him a warning or not. I would not think too much about it personally. A few years later, I made a similar mistake myself, I played too rough with a boy in the class, and his mom talked to my parents. A few years later, I recall seeing him in the Zhenhai Middle School too.
I think in year 2016, I walked to the renovated village office, and I saw one of the doctors picture still there. He probably worked all these years from 1980 until 2016. He is one of the doctors who gave us vaccines when I grew up in the village, as well as treating us very much like the urgent care does in the USA nowadays. Before elementary school the barefoot doctors would actually walk to every home and gave out vaccines to the little kids. And I would close the door, hide behind my grandma and tried to get away from the shots. That usually didn’t work. I probably said cursing words at the time too. When I started attending elementary schools, I could no longer act out, because I was the class president and had to lead by example. Nowadays I can see some of that from my younger daughter – she doesn’t like getting the shots at doctor’s office, usually the vaccine shots. And I saw little kiddos crying at the Covid shots place (Christian Hospital to be specific), I recall one of the Washing U doctor was trying to comfort the kids. And I talked about my “shot scare” in twitter a while ago. Such as this one:
I was that kid before I attended elementary school back in China (1970s). I would hide behind my grandma's back or ask my grandma lock all the doors to the "barefoot doctors" who came to give vaccines. My effort is in vain because the doctors know my parents (esp my mom) well. https://t.co/GVosjJmoEK
Just booked the vaccination 💉 appointment for my 11 year old. Still need to persuade my wife re: our 7 year old’s vaccine 💉 shot. I recall things were easier when I grew up: the “barefoot” doctor would come to my home or school to give shots. /1
Another time, I was almost drowning. Note I didn’t know how to swim when I grew up. I think one reason is our parents didn’t want us to swim (or learn to swim) at a big (water) reservoir (it was man-made). And we heard the stories of two guys (young healthy men) who died years ago when they swam there after work. Now I am guessing they were probably exhausted, and somehow their bodies or legs had some issue then. Because it’s a reservoir it’s static water and there should not be any danger from under current etc. Anyway, back to the topic, I recall when I was probably completing 3rd grade, and in the summer sometimes my parents would send me to my maternal grandma’s house, living with my uncle’s (my mom’s brother) family including my grandma. Once my grandma asked me to bathe in the pond, the pond was not big or anything, but it was quite deep, I could stand up at the edge but that’s probably it. So that day for some reason I slipped off the edge, and I probably screamed (again I couldn’t swim), and someone quickly picked me up. I recall running back naked to my grandma’s house, and the reason I was naked was my grandma didn’t bring any new clothes for me, and she took my old clothes and was washing it in the pond. Again washing clothes in the pond is quite normal as at that time the villages didn’t have faucet water. So the drinking water was usually from a well or from collecting rainwater. And for washing stuff etc. a pond, a brook or a river is common then.
Got Lost: another time, when I was with my maternal grandma at Chai’qiao 柴桥老街 street, I got lost because I didn’t follow her close enough, and probably she walked too fast without looking back (I may have gotten distracted by something). I think that day, a neighbor who probably knew my grandma, sent me back to my uncle’s home. In those days (before 1983), I don’t think there were human smugglers like today, so in theory, I was still pretty safe.
Probably a year later also in the summer, I was probably finishing the 4th or 5th grade. I was joining my elder brothers to 割稻 （cutting down the rice staunch before getting the rice kernel), and I barely cut probably a few yards, before my cut into my finger. So there goes my rice-cutting job for that summer. I still have scars from that episode. Talking about getting the rice kernels 打稻 (threshing rice), it’s actually quite dangerous, I heard people got hurt as the machine pulled in their hands or arms.
I recall the aunt’s son (the aunt who carried me when I was hurt), once got his legs either into another machine 水车 (water wheel) for some reason, and he had to amputated both his legs.
水车 (water wheel)
Mental Health
I don’t recall there was much consideration of that when I grew up. One of my cousin died from suicide when she heard her younger brother (not her) would take over the job from her dad, also she may have some other issues (I heard one of her eye may have some problem), she was probably a bit over 20. At my high school or college, I heard from my mom one of the girls in my village died from suicide, after her parents scolded her for dating a carpenter or something. She was one year senior than me. We went to the same village school (the elementary school).
(Update 11-03-2025) Come across this Chinese blog post 被裁员是祸是福 -没准是柳岸花明又一村 and I agree. In English it’s called blessings disguised as curse 🙂
(Original) A touchy topic. I have been in the tech industry for almost 23 years, and I have seen my share of the layoffs. I saw the layoff very early in my career, and the most recent ones in last year or so amid the big tech post pandemic layoffs.
Layoffs are usually not pleasant. But putting emotions aside, I recall an older wise gentleman once told me: it’s not necessarily a bad thing, as it gives an opportunity for someone to look beyond the daily grinding, to reflect, to pivot or reposition and hopefully find something better or more suitable for someone (not exactly words, here someone is actually yours truly back in the early 2019).
Also sometimes the old timers (the good old employers) will ask in the employment history section during a job app: have you ever being involuntarily terminated from an employer? While I am not a lawyer (my wife is), but my legal advice here is: this is somewhat like the situation when I was in the US Consulate in Shanghai back in 1997, when the visa officer asked: what’s your plan after the graduate school? One thing I was 100% sure is: I was not going to say that I planned to stay in the US for good 🙂 I think an honest answer then is probably “I don’t know” or “I am not sure”. Remember in 1997 although the Hong Kong was returning to China, at the time the US was still way ahead of China, with the exception of the Chinese food here. There were a lots more economy developments in China compared to the US since then.
Two traumatic layoffs that left me impression
It was Oct 11, 2001, a month after the Sept 11, 2001. We knew the layoff is coming, after our company bought a rival company. The day came and it was not the 1st time I saw layoff, I think I saw a smaller layoff shortly after I joined the company in fall 2000. But Oct 11, 2021 is probably by far the worst in my career, we had 3 coworkers being let go on that morning. I worked closely with one of them, and the coworker cried or sobbed when the news broke. Her husband also worked at our team. Later the department manager rallied or tried to console the people who being left (we had about 30+ people, mostly devs). And we also learned the overlapping dev team at the acquired company were all let go. I recall there were quite a few ethnic Chinese people, who probably had similar background with me, but they may have came to the US a few years earlier than me. A side note amid all this is a QA engineer (test engineer) was laid off, and a few weeks ago during a townhall he asked question to the CEO about layoff 🙁 That day the company laid off about 18% of the people, and that’s probably 1,300 people.
Another case, while at the Mercy Health, we also knew the layoff was coming. And this time around we lost our QA engineer again (see the pattern here?), as well as an old engineer who cried / sobbed quite loud. I vowed to myself: never put myself into this kind of position when I reach his age (which is getting closer and closer, btw 🙂
My own share of layoffs
I had experienced 2 layoffs myself so far. Both times I was a bit surprised. But I think the second time it worked out for me better as my severance package is better, also due to the timing, it helped us bought our single family house at the right time before pandemic in summer 2019 (so here is another side benefit in addition to the career pivot).
The 1st time it was a bit sour taste. But I was not totally caught off guard either. I know one or two project leaders (they are more like team lead, not managers) didn’t like me. And I couldn’t do much to change the situation (the dynamics). The layoff came, the admin assistant was really nice actually. Looking back I think she is one of the few people who probably knew a few days in advance. I calmed down and negotiated a calm exit before my China trip then (year 2011, I had to email recruiters when I was in China, which is not ideal). I got a contractor position quickly after I came back from China. In this particular case, I actually learned that individual who said bad things about me before my manager(s) once got into a fist fight with another coworker there. I think looking from another angle, avoid toxic people at work place is a good idea 🙂 I do recall the evening in which I just lost my job, and I went to the Bread Co, thinking I would probably spend say $15 off my $40k savings: I may have seen a friend there, but I forgot exact who etc. I did couple interviews before the China trip, and no offer before my flight 🙁
Technically there was another case that I was laid off, in Nov 2013, very briefly. My contract job ended and they gave me 2 weeks notice via my recruiter. And I recall I saw a “Lord’s Prayer” in the weekend I learned the news, while at a friend’ friend home attending the 1st friend’ baby shower. That “layoff” left me a sour taste as well. But luckily I was interviewing before this and was able to quickly secure a new job offer in a few days.
Strategies
I think the most important thing to remember is never assume your job is there tomorrow. Because we have very little control. CEOs came and go, and little guys (or girls) like us can be let go really at any time. Never assume your work is so important that your boss or your company will keep you forever.
Along those lines, make sure you have the urgent savings account, which should at least cover 6 month of living cost: thinking mortgage / rent, grocery, gas, car payment (if applicable), and health insurance (remember if you pay out of your own pocket, it will not be cheap, as companies usually subsidize some cost aa a part of the benefit). This part is important because it gives you a peace of mind when you got the layoff. Note not every company offers generous severance package. The money you have will also help you have some breeze room when looking for new jobs.
Also get prepared. Always get your resume or LinkedIn profile updated. Test the market once a while. For coders (programmers, developers, software engineers), make sure you do some coding every day / week etc., don’t just sit there and do nothing. Learn something new if there is not much coding work. Nowadays there are so many online free resources for one to learn. In face, in terms of job market, for developers (software development engineers), the job market is usually pretty good. So as long as the developer knows something and can contribute, he/she usually won’t be in the job market for too long. I cannot say that for other positions in the IT job market, e.g., recruiter jobs are very much business (econ) cycle, so there is this famine and feast kind of situation. Similar can be said for the Quality Assurance (test engineer) and manager positions. I saw a director at the credit card got laid off, initially that individual worked for a contractor position as project manager, until eventually going back to similar position as before: took couple years.
But again here we need to be mindful that we are the ones who are responsible for our own careers: e.g., there is a manager position opening up at a software company or an IT shop, and someone hinted that you jumping at the opportunity. Remember what I just said: in terms of the job opportunities disparity between devs and managers, or architects for that matter. At one time of my career, I did become an architect as well, but I decided that was not for me longer term. I like to be closer to the coding.
Tips
Remember try not to be emotional. Also you are entitled to ask “why the layoff on me”? Although the answer is usually “the position is eliminated” or something similar. Remember the employer usually has better resources in terms of legal expertise or lawyered-up. In reality just like in the situation of “being dumped by your significant other”, there is usually signs or legit reasons whey it happened. Ideally you should know and not be caught totally off guard. And hopefully you were waiting for the severance package. For that my advice is not to sign anything on the spot. Just like an offer letter, you may want to bring it home, cool down, talk to someone, before signing anything official.
Also sometimes looking back the writing is on the wall or the hints are usually there. Like the two traumatic (large) layoffs I mentioned above. Get prepared before the actual layoff happens (again refer to the strategies above). No need to overly worry about the look the admin assistant gave you though, just be prepared when you work for someone or a company, you know in the USA the employment is at-will: meaning people can let you know anytime. This is quite different from the families. And don’t got tricked into thinking company’s sometimes misleading “we are families” kind of talk. We are in a employee / employer relationship, for now. We don’t know what’s going to happen tomorrow.
Last but not least, don’t use your company device for anything that’s in your private life. An example, your kids pictures, your family pictures, if you have company iPhone, try not to use it for those sort of things. And if you do, as a minimum try to make copies and delete the pictures on the phone before turning it in. You know the iPhone has settings that allow you to do that, and do it as needed. You never know what other people are going to do to the company devices that you turn in.
Psychological Impact
I don’t think this is trivial. I believe just like being dumped by your first significant other (boy friend/girl friend, husband/wife), this “being rejected by someone” feeling is usually hard, but at the same time it’s also quite common and normal. If you always got what you wanted, and were never rejected by someone, congrats 🙂 I think some of the websites will use the first name or name of your 1st boy friend or girl friend as an option (btw, this does not work very well in the Muslim countries, from what I heard). The reason for that is simple: people would almost never forget that name 🙂
Over the time though, we can overcome this “being rejected” feeling. It never goes away. But it can be controlled, and hopefully we can direct to something or some endeavor that we can use our passion there.
Another potential side effect, is the stigma associated with layoff, which is totally unnecessary – and I touched those good old companies’s specific question “have you ever involuntarily terminated from your job”? Again not legal advice just ignore those. Things don’t always work out as we liked. As long as we learn something and try not to make same mistake (again and again), we are making progress 🙂
Job Search
Last but not least, some job search observations / tips. Related to that, some may point out that although in the US, the employers cannot discriminate against applicants’ age, in reality though, this is still a factor and most employers in fact have preferences on employees’ age. I recall in the company I worked for 8 years, and I know a coworker worked there for 40+ years, and I heard he was laid off after I left (I resigned from that company in Nov 2008, yes it was during the financial crisis :-(. His layoff has nothing to do with my leaving, and I believe there is age factor there.
(Update 09-10-2023) Came across this video “One peril facing job-hunters? Being ghosted” at CBS Sunday Morning. This is actually quite common during a job search, from my experience. Don’t take it personally and move on.
(Update 09-20-2023)How Virtual Layoffs Became The New Normal For Workplaces. Btw, I just learned another contractor got laid off at my work place (my impression is current work place is pretty bad towards contractors, as I was at the other end of the table about 10 years ago, they did give me 2 weeks notice, so it softens the blow a bit). Talking about contractors or contingency workers in the IT and software industry, this is a very common way for an employers to add more people when needed, and get rid of them when not needed. Quite brutal in the sense of “job security” or “provide for family”. Something to keep in mind when jumping ships. || Also from SubStack: Layoff lessons: Four things I wish I knew.
(Update 12-18-2023) Came across this blog post from a former colleague, looks good. From my personal experience, healthcare is a tough industry to work.
Agent brown is the name my girls gave to the AirTag I used to attached to the car key (it has a brown holder) and later my older daughter attached it to her brown wallet. We lost agent brown. Saturday, to be more precise, 8/19 evening, at about 6:42 pm I got a text message when I was driving my girls to the premium outlet. The text message is from Amex, and it said “fraud alert” and someone tries to use S8’s Gold Card at a place called “City Gear” for about $280 worth of merchandise. The store declined it and thus the text alert from Amex.
Basically an hour ago my 13 year old lost her purse at the JCreve Coeur girls locker room. She said there is no lock but I cannot verify. We didn’t know then, until the thief started to use the Amex card in her purse and thus triggered the alert from the credit card company.
We were already very close to the Premium Outlet. And I started to call Amex shortly after I get there. To make the card is marked as lost, and also found out two pending transactions at QT. Those 2 transactions will be disputed. After we talked more, it appears someone took S8’s wallet from the girls (kiddos) locker room. S8 said the locker is not lockable. And because she put one of my airtags in her wallet, and I can see at one point the wallet location was at the City Gear (Gravois plaza, or City Gear, 3519 Bamberger Ave, St. Louis, MO 63116). I can even see the location of this person’s home (which I won’t post, I enabled the lost mode and the last location seems to be at someone’s home, at 7:08 pm), as well as QT location (which can be seen from the Amex website from the pending transaction).
A while later after we got home, we found there is even a text message with a time of 7:25 PM saying “I found your wallet” on S8’s phone (she left a number on the wallet).
After some discussions, we decided not to reply back to that text.
This whole episode seems added some excitement to an otherwise uneventful Saturday evening.
I recall when I was in college, my wallet was picked by a thief when I was at a crowded bus (I realized quickly after I got off the bus), another time my drawer in the dorm got broken into and money was lost. In the US, I recall when I was a graduate student, once I lost a digital camera which I left in my office.
I guess this can turn into a good lesson in safety and security (privacy) for our older daughter as the material loss is fairly small.
Peace of Mind
A side note of all this is the Amex and Apple AirTags seem both gave us peace of mind, they provided more transparency than a traditional wallet loss (such as my loss when I was in college in Wuhan). At the same time, I don’t too much curiosity is a good thing. || (update 08-21-2023) it appears the two fraudulent transactions at QT got posted, I opened dispute in the Amex website.
PS– be vigilant: I recall when I was working for the credit card company, on the loyalty and rewards platform, I was tasked to investigate the “fraudulent redemptions for airline tickets and hotel reservations”. It appears the thief (or thieves) got hold of the victim’s personal email and password: the same email and password are used in the rewards redemption website which was operated by the credit card co. Let’s just say the email provider is Yahoo. So from the victim’s point of view, it’s really not a good security practice. At the time though, it was also the 1st time I encountered a sophisticated thief like that and I started to doubt the “evilness” of some criminals. My daughter is 13 and was more thinking about the “goodness” of the people, e.g., she would try to find an excuse why someone would steal her wallet (maybe someone needs the money for food). I don’t know, I would not say she was “woke”. But at the same time, I think we should all be vigilant.
PS 2: handle of loss. 旧的不去，新的不来 (Out with the old, in with the new)。I understand many people want things back, and my daughter is no exception. Recently I started to realized and reconfirm sometimes we just have too much junk (which I discussed below). As a parent I am certainly quite protective of my kids’ feeling got hurt etc. But again we live in a real world. And this sort of thing does happen.
(Picture above Hilary Hahn, who plays the violin for Suzuki book 1; the piano was played by Natalie Chen)
(Update 12-14-2023) I realized my daughter’s violin teacher also knows how best to keep the kids engaged and interested. Couple things: 1) The practice sheet, he has a worksheet which looks like a printed out Excel spreadsheet and kids feel accomplishment after completing each task. He also plans to do a pizza party for the “most continuously practice” for celebrations. 2) Along similar lines, I saw during group class, yesterday it was probably holiday themed, he gave out candies for small quiz or games, or challenges.
(Original) My younger one started the Suzuki violin lesson recently. I heard about the Suzuki violin lesson a long time ago (more than 10 years ago), when my older one was little. But we didn’t pick violin lessons for her. Like many Chinese parents, we picked piano lessons. We started piano lessons for our younger one a few years ago as well, and kept it through the pandemic (for the most part, the main exception is the shutdown period between March 2020 and May 2020).
Choose the Right Teacher
I picked the violin teacher after doing some research. Mainly following friends and my own gut feeling. Now looking back I feel I am a bit lucky: I think this Suzuki method is probably the way to go here. Note this is the 1st Suzuki violin book – Suzuki Violin School, Vol 1: Violin Part. The book no longer has an attached CD, I believe. So I went to the Apple iTunes store to get the music and searching “Suzuki violin book 1” seems to bring me the wrong music for the book. It brings up Takako Nishizaki’s Suzuki Evergreens and you bet I bought it. It took me to a while to find out the one album matching the book (again it should look something like the photo at the top).
Our younger daughter recently passed the twinkle test. It’s the first level of the test, I would not discount it though. The teacher said the average time to pass it is a bit over one year (I should add the average kid’s age to start violin lesson is probably much younger than our 9 year old too). The start age for kids to learn something is interesting. I think in general, it gets easier for a kid to learn something when he/she gets older, another good example is swimming. But at the same time, if we start something on a kid too late, most likely he/she will do okay but not able to complete in today’s competitive world – that’s the dilemma. I know some kids who have potential to play soccer in college or in the national team down the road, and they worked real hard from a very young age, and the parents are shuttling them to practice/games like a full time job. Similar for mind sports such as Chess. So in other words, we should not just looked at how well a kid did on something, we also should look at how many miles the parent put on her car, or his frequent flyer miles 🙂
Back to the topic: the violin lesson. As I was the parent who drove her to class, as well as help her practice in the early days. I do the bow for her as she was not ready to use the bow yet (the teacher doesn’t want her to build bad habit). She is on her 2nd and 3rd song now. The music (violin) thing seems hard to me for two reasons:
The master of the music, reading notes etc.
The coordination and movement of two hands, in the case of violin, one hand (fingers) need to move and push down the strings, while the other one does the bow. The “bow” part is actually hard, as it was not natural, as I saw from one YouTube video a while ago. Took a while for Sophia to get familiar to it.
To overcome this, I think her violin teacher did a few things right.
He has a spreadsheet-like worksheet for the kid, this way the kid could mark every day’s practice. Talking about the organization.
Rigors with a sense of humor. I think most American-born kids or parents in America can sympathize, maybe I can extrapolate it to the world too, basically, nobody would like to be criticized. In the piano teachers/kids community, I heard horrendous stories such as the teacher would scold the parents if the kids didn’t do the work or practice.
Group lessons and encouragement to the kids to participate in an ensemble (namely, the SE and higher at CMS at Webster U). We just started the group lesson. I think this will be quite helpful as kids like to learn in a social environment too.
Use of computer and modern tech. I think the teacher is probably about 70 years old. He was previously a music teacher at Kirkwood and a violin teacher at CMS (Webster U). He does email communication, word doc, Zoom etc. very well – which is probably standout among his peers. He also encourages me to take video on iPhone for Sophia to learn at home, for music and posture, and hand (finger) gesture.
Violin Kids
In our school district the kids have the options to learn violin at 4th grade. I understand some other school districts offer that too. Our main motivation for Sophia is to have some confidence when the violin lesson starts this school year, and she may have a bit “1st mover advantage”. I know at least one other kid at her grade does violin too (already). Again this is mostly help our younger daughter to find her niche (or calling), something she can feel good about (after doing some work). We have absolutely no expectation for her to play professionally down the road. We respect all the professional musicians. But we know that’s not easy and it’s not for everyone. In fact, the step daughter of Sophia’s teacher is a pro, and she plays for SLSO. The teacher said she played 4 hours a day when she was young, and we saw her video when she was 8 and she looked already like a pro (being 8 years old).
Learning music in general (kids version)
We started piano lesson for our older daughter when she was in kindergarten (she was 5 and a half). She had a pretty rigorous teacher to start. After a while, things became harder for her and she kinda slacked off. And we also stepped back too as we don’t want to be berated by the teacher when our daughter didn’t do her work. Later we switch her to an easier piano teacher. She did other things such as SLCCSing (St. Louis Children’s Choirs), from 1st grade until 7th. This coming year we planned to have her take a break on choir. She started percussion 2 years ago when she was in the 6th grade (middle school), and we will continue her on that. She seems like music in general, as a hobby and a relaxation tool. She sings and occasionally plays ukuleles at home, and sometimes plays piano too now that she doesn’t have piano lessons (more or more willingly compared to the days she has the piano lessons). She doesn’t have plan to major in music so far, but may consider it as a minor in college. She is not talented in piano as some other Chinese kids. She only won one medal from piano (the sonatina thing when she was 6 or 7, at the Lindenwood U).
For our younger daughter we were more laid back, also due to the pandemic, we started her on piano with the “nicer” teacher. And she did the chorus at her school in last school year. And in this April we started her on violin. We hope she can continue this path (a bit like her big sister does percussion for now).
Again like many parents here, we like our kids to learn music (reading notes etc.) as well as mastering one instrument. I understand for percussion, this is a bit hard to identify a particular instrument, marimba is a common one, but drums are also common.
Also, last but not least, a while ago I heard playing piano (maybe easier to start than violin for older people), could have potential benefit of prevent dementia, so that’s something I need to get more serious about.
PS: again please note I am not doing any victory lap here. I am just sharing what I know (and don’t know). And I welcome any feedback, comments or questions.
Island Way Sorbet (actually my younger one probably found this online, not sure if it’s YT shorts or somewhere else). Now I have to wait patiently for this in Spring /Summer season.
KOOSHY CROUTONS (I only bought it once, and my older daughter asked can we get it again)
(Original) I found this one Costco potato corn dog (Eat With Emily post; The Daily Meal post) at my my local Costco (U city), after seeing it from a friend. I made a small mistake when cooking it at 1st try, I put it along side with the Hamburger on the outdoor gas stove (for BBQ), which kinda burned it. Later I tried microwave, which works better. I think we probably only need 1.5 mins to 3 mins via microwave oven. Note the inside is cheese, or to be more specific, the mozzarella Cheese.
Another one is the cheese crips. I think at the local store it’s about $9 a pack. Not as expensive as shown in the online store. I found it at other grocery store too, but it’s more expensive than Costco.
Last but not least, Costco Shoyu Ramen with chicken – Frozen Ramen Bowls. It looks like 5 out of 6 bowls are gone since I bought them yesterday 🙂 One thing is we used regular microwave friendly bowls for warming / heating it up. I joked with my wife it probably would cost $7 or $8 in a restaurant.
PS: I noticed in last 6 months or so, Costco likes to move its merchandize around, mostly to create a “treasure hunt” feeling for the shoppers 🙂 This is applicable to some of the hot or seasonal items too.
Below was written over a few days. Personal story. Hopefully could be useful for people in the USA. As one of my previous colleagues said: the best is to avoid the hospital, but if we do go, it’s important to have the healthcare insurance 🙂
Today (7/01) I spent almost full day at the total access urgent care center (TAUC). I am not complaining but rather quite appreciative of how things came about. Yesterday (06/30/2023) we had a storm here and I did a dumb thing looking back: remember hindsight is always 20/20. I climbed up the ladder shortly after the storm with the intension of removing a few big tree branches on the roof. But things didn’t work as I hoped: I fell from the ladder, back down 1st and totally unexpected. Btw, here are some safety tips re: using ladders, and this one too. And I talked to my colleague about it later, who has medic and safety experience. Reflecting back the loose foundation (with mulches etc.) is also a contributing factor of the fall of ladder.
I didn’t feel too bad in the immediate aftermath, but things turned worse over the night as I found I had blood in my urine. It was about 9 or 10 pm and I didn’t think it’s a good idea to hang out at a hospital emergency room. So I tried to tough it out until 8 am this morning when the urgent care places opens. Note the main reason not going to the hospital emergency room (ER) is the ER usually tries to help the most in needed, those were seriously hurt etc., and I don’t think I am in that category.
But why I still spend almost a full day? I think the short answer is they have many patients that are in similar situation as me. Also my case is a bit more complicated because the doctor wants to do a CT scan on my neck as well as my abdomen with contrast. There is X-ray in the 1st TAUC place I went (Creve Coeur), but for CT scan I need to go to another TAUC place which is about 20 minutes drive (Chesterfield). Note this is my 2nd CT scan in the US. My first one was documented here. This time I got more scans than last time, I think I got both the regular scan as well as contrast scan. And I got the GE CT machine instead of the Siemens machine last time (year 2015).
I think TAUC started to pop up in last 10 years or so in the St. Louis area, with the booming of the urgent care in the US in general. They are not the 1st urgent care place in the area (Creve Coeur to be specific). That honor goes to St. Lukes. But St. Lukes has one disadvantages, they usually have two bills (one from the urgent care, another one from the provider). TAUC only has one consolidated bill. I think TAUC bill is also usually cheaper. For example, yesterday (7/01) I went to the Creve Coeur location 1st. I know from past experience, that I need to queue up online 1st. So I did. I waited at the Bread Co. at Old Olive road. At about 9 am, I saw I am at spot 3, and the restaurant is getting busy, so I went to the clinic.
Tests, lots of them
Typical treatment flow of urgent care goes like this: check in at front desk (may or may not fill out paperwork, or may need to make some payment from last visit, become more rare as more payments are done online nowadays). Go to the treatment room, and wait for the nurse. Nurse come in the take vitals. The provider (a doctor, nurse practitioner, or a physician assistant PD) will come in and ask questions. In my case I talked about what happened, and the aftermath. The doctor will order some tests. Actually I think my urine sample was taken before doctor even come in. And the doctor checked my back etc. and ordered both X-ray for back and legs, as well as CT Scan for the neck and the abdomen. While the X-ray technician started to work on my X-ray, I realized I have some minor pain on head too, so they (the doc and technician) did the head X-ray as well. After that they did some blood draw as well as the prep for IV for the contrast CT scan (basically leave a cap in my elbow area). I was ready to move on at about 12:15 pm at the Creve Coeur location. Thought about ordering McDonald’s but the text message came quickly asking me to go the the new TAUC location, and I realized I have something in my elbow too. So I started going there.
At the new location, I got the vitals again (before leave, the CC location did the vital for me again to make sure, and I realized the med tech/assistant is a Wash U student), and the IV which is just saline. I did the CT there, which is more complicated than last time, mainly because of the contrast scan. I closed my eyes during testing. I recall in my recent China (refer to my recent visit, this one and that one ) trip I realized they do way more CT than they are doing here, and some elders don’t like hold breath etc. and my mom didn’t like some of the tests either.
Waiting
After done the CT, as well as finishing up the IV (again saline). I was mostly in the waiting mode. I noticed in the new location, the TV is not on. I managed to plug in the power adapter for the receiver and was able to watch some TV. At one point I was restless, so I went to the car and get water as well as the portable battery to charge my iPhone, as the iPhone battery was low after I used it for a while. At about 3:30 pm or so, I got the call from the provider and he explained the things to me, and ready to let me go home. I got the call when I was in the restroom taking the call from my Apple Watch (I left the phone in the treatment room). I think I started to order McDonald’s via the app as well. The main thing at the time was to remove the cap on my elbow, and receive the discharge instructions. They did the vitals once again as well.
At about 4:15 pm, I was finally ready to go. And I went to the McDonald’s right away.
PS: on Saturday night when I 1st saw blood in my urine (which is probably the 1st time in my almost 52-year-old life), I was unsettled. Today (07-04-2023) I think about the life insurance I bought in the year 2012, which is a 15-year term life for $500,000 coverage. And today I realized 500k in the year 2012 is probably 250k in today’s dollars. Inflation is another tailwind for the insurance companies, in addition to the benefits of float (they didn’t have to pay out all the claims because people didn’t all die, or claimable accidents didn’t all happen at once). So basically they can invest the float (the income from premiums) money for a long time. Today I went to skating too, and I think I may not need to see a urologist that urgently for now.
PS 2: I found out my elbow has some residue pain from the IV, refer to this. It seems “Once the tube has been placed, the IV site shouldn’t hurt, sting, or burn. When the IV procedure is completed, some swelling and bruising at the site are common and not cause for concern. Most IV sites heal quickly in a few days.” I think I am starting to fear if I got this IV thing when I get older. And it seems to me the pain is there when I visited my mom recently in hospital in China. This seems like something comes with the modern medicine (note IV is used much more in China than there). Before my recent visit to urgent care, I recall I did this only once when I had fever (and maybe cough) a few years before pandemic. I recall the nurse put in some steroids to help me (make me more comfortable).
I was not aware or conscious of the famous Chinese singer Liang Jingru’s age until a few days ago. Note 梁静茹 Sometimes the fans call her Fish Leong. I think Leong is the last name 梁 in her native Malaysia: her ancestor is from China’s Guangdong province and I assume they all speak Cantonese.
The reason for my interest to learn her age was this short video clip tweet; here is a longer and mostly complete version on YouTube and some controversy around it (Sina in Chinese 新浪中文). Btw, the song here is 分手快樂 (YouTube link here). I think you should be able to find out on other platforms easily as this is one of her most famous songs, and Leong is probably one of the best Chinese female singers in her generation.
The controversy is about her gaining some weight in the last few years. Note she is 45 years old. Last few years due to the pandemic, many people stayed at home more and didn’t pay attention to snacking habits, or exercise, and they gained weight that way. Perhaps, age is a big factor too. I recall about 12 years ago when I was 40, one day I hiked with my friend at the Powder Valley trail, and I saw myself in a t-shirt, and suddenly I realized I gained quite a bit of weight in the last few years. Aging and gain weight is quite common due to the change of metabolism and not adapting the food/drink intake at the same time.
I recall in the summer of 2016, when I encountered one of my college classmates after about 23 years, he couldn’t recognize me due to my weight gain and aging over the years.
At the same time though, there is absolutely no need to comment on other people’s weight, especially in a not-so-friendly way. Because we will all age, some age faster, some a bit slower. Weight is a much more personal thing. Some people will gain weight more easily, and vice versa. It’s important to be vigilant because weight gain in a short period of time could mean something health-wise, and we know health is one of the most important things.
There is another subtle meaning that comes with this controversy: that is the perception of aged women are less worthy. Interestingly, Michelle Yeoh, who is also a Malaysia-born Chinese, recently talked about it. I would talk about “aging gracefully” in another post, as this is another big topic.
PS: not to 蹭热度 (cloud chasing) I felt this youtube video explained a similar situation regarding “what can be said in a joke” or whether something is “pushing the envelop” too far. Yes I had to admit that I agree with the “hot lady” there (did I push the envelop too far here? I will remove the hot if most ladies think so 🙂
PS 2: not about sexism (guys, never comment on ladies / girls appearance, vice versa for girls). It’s about ageism. I understand in Chinese there is this saying 徐娘半老 – not a complements I believe. Until recently to be precise it was during my recent China trip, in the Shanghai subway I realized I am probably the older part of the passengers in the train. So God forbid, if somethings happens in the train, I should lead, or give the opportunity of life to other younger folks 🙂 Last but not least, I created a YT playlist for her live performances in last few years. Please note to singing a few hours non-step or with little stops are not easy. Not everything is Taylor Swift.
(11-06-2023) Design with Reach has some deals for the Herman Miller chairs. The website popup says 20% off (not sure if it can be stacked on the existing 25% off offer).
(09-25-2023) And now I realized I had an issue with the jeans. Googled it and it seems people were talking about it on Reddit. For now I am just going to use a seat cushion. Figured a seat cushion is probably cheaper than a pair of jeans (I have story for the jeans price too 🙂
(07-11-2023) Came across this one – again I am for #reuse #recycle and #reduce.
(06-19-2023) I changed 3 wheels out of 5, all out of necessity 🙂 || Separately, just came across this how Herman Miller tests its chair.
(06-11-2023) One of the wheels broke. I bought a replacement wheel set from Amazon and replaced it in one minute (btw, later on, I found the price is cheaper on eBay. Note this is not unusual, I mean the price difference). I saw a few choices for the wheels. and decided to go with the more expensive “Amazon’s Choice”. Here is a very short YouTube video explaining how to take out the old wheel and put in the new one. I also found there is a headrest for the Aeron chair (FB, used, $98 + $9 shipping); and it’s available on Amazon as well ($152). || Some day I will work a separate post on buying/owing the Herman Miller Aeron chair.
(Update 06-05-2023) I bought a used Herman Miller Aeron classic from an office that’s closed down, near where I live. I feel good about it so far. The other day I just realized this thing is heavy, about 48 pounds per Amazon. Btw, I found this PDF adjustment guide from the Herman Miller website too.
(Original 05-2023) The high-end office chair is not cheap, it costs more than $1,000. Let’s say a chair of $1,350 (note Haworth Fern is in that range), typical workers work 2,000 hours a year. Let’s say a typical worker sits 60% of the time, 1,200 hours sitting on a $1,350 chair. A dollar an-hour chair sitting cost. The chair lasts at least 10 years though. So it’s more like 10 cents an hour chair sitting cost.
Why is a chair important for office workers?
Weight problems, back problems, and other ergonomic chairs may help out. As explained by this YouTube video by Ahnestly (Dan Ahn) here. I don’t want to go much into detail here. I think for normal office workers (people who sit before the computer every day for a while), a good chair, a good posture, and even keyboarding, mouse/trackpad clicking/tapping are all important. Remember, your personal health is your responsibility. And I think standing desks could be a fad; see this Harvard Medical School article for reference. Wearing the Apple Watch (or other equivalent watches, that remind people to stand up and stretch a bit after sitting for a while), and standing up once in a while is the way to go.
Where to buy?
I see 2 (or 3) choices:
Buy new (from the manufacturers or from retailers), usually via the website (e-commerce, such as Steelcase Leap at the manufacturer’s website, Steelcase Leap chair at Amazon, note the Amazon link here is my Amazon Associate link) nowadays. With today’s logistics, they could be shipped from the warehouse quickly, via UPS, FedEx or Amazon. The customer just needs to open the box and start to use it.
Buy preowned. There are also “like new” such as this 3-month-old Haworth Fern asking for $900 (picture shown below), “refurbished” sometimes with warranty and buy used still in good condition. This is somewhat like buying a used car, we need to pay a bit more attention here. It seems nowadays CraigsList (sample search Steelcase chair on local CraigsList) and Facebook marketplace (sample search on FB for Herman Miller Aeron) are two popular places to look. || I think on coming Monday 05-22-2023 I am going to proceed with/check out this one on FB marketplace that’s very close to my home. Note like buying used cars, the prices for used office chairs vary, and again Ahnestly (Dan Ahn) explained it very well in one of his YT videos too: this one is specifically for Herman Miller Aeron (and I tried to follow his instructions when I checked out the chair). Btw, I also created a YouTube watchList for office chairs.
If one likes to have neck support (headrest)
From memory, it seems Steelcase Leap V2 (Amazon*; Steelcase) is a popular chair with headrest option.
The business of office furniture makers
It seems the manufacturers (mainly Haworth, Herman Miller, and Steelcase) do not have a business model like the iPhone. Typically people upgrade iPhones every 2, 3, or 4 years. Office chairs last more than 10 years.
Also, some knockoff products (e.g., this one on local Craigslist) may have an impact on the brand names (Haworth, Herman Miller, and Steelcase). What exactly is “equal to or better than Herman Miller Aeron Chair”, anyway? From the picture, the shape looks like Herman Miller Aeron Chair (picture shown below). It seems this person is doing it (selling used chairs) as a business.
It’s more a consumer win/manufacturer “did okay or lose a bit” kind of situation.
Danger zone
I have had some brief interactions with two manufacturers. In Spring Festival 2009, I visited Haworth for a business trip when I was working for Autodesk. Then recently I started looking into Steelcase stock ($SCS). I heard the Steelcase for 1st time probably back in 2009 when I asked Haworth folks who are the competitors. The two companies are close by, Haworth is in Holland MI, and Steelcase is HQ’ed at Grand Rapids, MI. When I visited Holland, the airplane is from STL to Grand Rapids (I recall it was an old MD DC airplane).
Investor Day presentation (webcast; PDF) for Steelcase 05-04-2023
Quick thoughts after doing office chair research
For Steelcase, a unique problem is its vast used inventory in the market, this is evident on the FB Marketplace and on CraigsList. It will take some time to digest those inventories that were a result of the pandemic (and work from home).
*Note the Amazon link is my Amazon Associates link. Your price will be the same, but I may earn a small commission if you click through the link and buy.
Reading Time: 3minutesNot my PR, but hey I finished the race without hurting myself (I haven’t done much running last few years)
(Update 10-28-2023) Senior moment of yesterday: I was trying to find my Sienna minivan key, via the Tile app. I left it in the minivan after I filling the air for the tires. The reason I left key there was earlier I needed the accessories ON to power the portal air pump. So I was using the find feature in the iPhone Tile App, and only got the “moderate” signal, after probably 7, or 8 minutes, I realized I left the key in the car. For some reason I didn’t hear the beep, probably the door to garage has good sound insulation.
(Update 10-20-2023) Something I realized recently. A solar guy came by and asked if I was interested in installing the solar panel on the roof top. And on the 2nd conversation (which is a bit more serious) he mentioned the investment will pay off the future electric/utility bill for next 20 or 30 years, which may be $30,000 or 40,000 over the span of that time duration, due to inflation, rate increase, etc. || Yesterday and today I was thinking: will I live for another 20 or 30 years? Note this is not the main factor I am thinking about the solar panel: the main factor I see right now is we have a tree in the front yard, which blocks quite a bit sunshine in the morning; and in the afternoon, our neighbor’s tree will do the similar 🙂 I actually read up and did some research, the total cost (without any tax credit consideration etc.) is about $18,000 in Missouri. I am still not sure about the overall the worthiness of the solar panel as well as Net Metering with the electricity utility co.
Aging is one reason I restarted selling on eBay this year. I am on a couple “buy nothing, sell nothing” “give away stuff” group (FB, WeChat) as well. The main goal is make sure the house is not overly cluttered (garage included). And be conscious of buying new things – see if I can sell or give away a thing when buy a new thing. And so on.
Also noticed 17 years ago I wrote on similar topic: Senior Moment || At least the last problem is a muted issue now: I rarely bring wallet with me nowadays, bring my phone with driver license and 2 CC instead. We live in the post iPhone world, everyone 🙂
(Original written in April 2023, updated in early Oct 2023)
Aging
Big 5 (people usually said big 5 for 50). I recall years ago my AutoDesk colleague was nervous about it. Now I am qualified for senior Olympics at the J, and I suddenly realized that I am a senior in the Shanghai subway 🚇 a few months ago.
Workout or exercise to be fit, hopefully less a burden for my wife and kids when I get older.
七成饱 don’t gullet, and don’t eat late ⏰ e.g., after 8 pm. This is further confirmed after I talked to my kid’s violin teacher (he is 65) and he emphasized his veggie diet as we as excises.
Limit alcohol and caffeine intake too.
Sleep 💤 issue
Listen to the radio 📻 via iPod 📱 nano when I could not fall asleep. Put iPhone and computer outside bedroom. Try to get up when I am awake, go to the J instead of watching iPhone while lying on bed 🛌
More Senior Moment
Above mostly was written in April during / after my China trip, my today 10-03-2023 “senior moment” – I parked my white Camry outside the Korean grocery store near home, I did shopping and came out to look for my silver Sienna minivan, and obviously it’s not there. Sienna is my car and Camry is my wife’s. I took Camry because it’s close by and short trip. It took me a while to resize my minivan was not stolen and I came with Camry 😂
“No short cut; and I wish I could get those sleepless night back but I do understand no pain no gain in life sometimes.” -MXU April 2023
Everyone knows the prices for single-family houses (SFHs) in the US went up since the pandemic, and this is applicable to the SFHs in the Ladue School District (LSD) too. It may go up more than the national average. Luckily for us, we bought our starter home, a nice little ranch house, about 9 months before the pandemic shut down in March 2020, and we were grateful that we have the room to spread out, both for virtual school and our Work From Home (WFH) jobs. It’s not perfect, but it put us in a better position than the 2 bedroom condo we had earlier.
I lived in the LSD since the year 2005: I bought a condo across the street from the Schnucks/Monsanto in April 2005, at a price which is the market top at the time. Note that condo prices topped before the actual housing/financial crisis in 2007/2008. At the time I have basically two choices, and I think I still made the right choice looking back. The other choice was a 1st-floor condo near Creve Coeur Mills Road and Olive Road (Parkway School District, PSD): the condo was facing north which is not the best direction in terms of facing (it will be cold in winter and hot in summer). Plus the LSD is considered a notch above PSD (this is probably subjective opinion).
Since our 2nd daughter was born in the Summer of 2014, our 2 bedroom condo basically needs one more room, not in a hurry but in a time ticker bomb – as we believe eventually our younger daughter needs her own room. We didn’t put her in a separate room when she was an infant (same for our old daughter). When we hired a nanny when Sophia was a newborn, note it was customary to have some external helper in Chinese culture when there is a newborn in a family, the nanny had to sleep in the living room. My wife, myself, and Sophia were in one bedroom, Serenity the big sister took the other bedroom.
Fast forward a few years, I changed jobs in June 2015 and started working for the credit card co., hoping to make a few more bucks for the new house down payment. I recall probably in the summer of 2017 I joked with a few friends that the SFH is out of reach. Also, I don’t miss the sleep deprived nights and on calls while I worked for the credit card co: it’s basically a “sweatshop” that pays better than a normal sweatshop 🙁
In the Summer of 2018, we almost bought an SFH (Zillow link), and my wife had a second thoughts after realizing the house didn’t have a dishwasher. So we backed out after inspection while it was still in the cooling period. I really liked the backyard, but over the years I learned to listen to my wife. East or west, listening to the boss is the most important 🙂
Fast forward one more year, Sophia is also about to start attending Kindergarten at Spoede Elementary, and we were looking at houses more seriously: we even got a buyer agent who is grew up in/familiar with the area, and has a good supporting team. For us, Luckily everything worked out for our current house in June 2019. We saw the house listed, and my wife liked it, we did not really negotiate the price – we paid the asking price. Another small break for us is we had built a bit more savings in one year for down payment etc, since the summer of 2018. Now I think about it, we made decision pretty quick, I did not even do my neighborhood check: basically come at one morning, and come at one afternoon to make sure the neighbors are nice 🙂
I understand with the Pandemic and the SFHs price went up a lot. But we have zero control over things such as the pandemic, the economy, interest rates, mortgage rates, and so on. We do have control over ourselves, in terms of saving money, and being proactive. I heard a friend bought the house directly from a lady by knocking on the door, I have not confirmed but seems like a variable approach to me, as long as he/she asked it nicely. In another case, I heard friends did the SFH transaction privately. Both were done before pandemic, and the houses are not brand new. In recent years I did see more new houses come to market, after the investor buy/tear down/build much bigger 2 stories home etc. Another trend is the developers’ activities, such as I wrote it here earlier. Overall though, the supply is not catching up with the demand. One reason is sometimes the seller can afford to hold on to it, e.g., this century old house at the entrance of our neighborhood. I did a little research on the St. Louis county real estate website, and found out the owner likely lives in a mansion in Florida. The reason for my research was: I was thinking about investment property, and this one is close to where we live, and I walk by that house every day.
