stlplace

Category: Life

  • Grace (prayer) before meal and before bed

    Reading Time: 2 minutes

    Below was started in year 2016, and I just finished it today 12-27-2023

    Immanuel Lutheran Olivette Day School

    Come lord Jesus, be our guest, let those gifts to us be blessed.

    Hope Montessori Academy Creve Coeur

    Thank you for this day , thank you for this food, thank you for the friends we have and our families, bona boti, you may eat.

    Hope Montessori Infant Toddler Community (Creve Coeur)

    Look around you will see a friend, a family, we are brothers and sisters too.

    ======

    (I forgot the exact grace before dinner at Fraternity. I recall there may be something about brotherhood. If I look carefully enough, it may be in some of the materials I still have)

    ======

    Serenity Prayer

    Oh, God, give us courage to change what must be altered, serenity to accept what can not be helped, and insight to know the one from the other.

    Lord’s Prayer

    Our Father, which art in heaven,
    Hallowed be thy Name;
    Thy kingdom come;
    Thy will be done
    in earth, as it is in heaven:
    Give us this day our daily bread;
    And forgive us our trespasses,
    as we forgive them that trespass against us;
    And lead us not into temptation,
    But deliver us from evil;
    For thine is the kingdom,
    the power, and the glory,
    For ever and ever.
    Amen.

    I came across this prayer on a Sunday at a friend’s friend’s house: baby shower (Nov 2013). I was just told by my recruiter that my contractor position would end in 2 weeks on the Friday evening prior. And I suspect someone at the company I worked at, may have said bad things about me then. I don’t have proof, just suspicion. Now I think it’s more a business decision, change of direction basically. The prayer made a difference on how I feel about the situation, or at least how I wanted to approach the things.

    I got a job offer a few days later 🙂

    Prayer before bed

    Probably not as common as the prayer before the meals. But when our older daughter was younger, I usually say a few prayers before she goes to bed. A few years ago, she would say “love” to everyone before going to sleep. Now our younger one does the same.

  • How I went to the HUST 我为什么去了华中理工大学

    Reading Time: < 1 minute

    (Update 09-20-2025) English version is on YT – My colleague and engineering career journey

    Below is original in Chinese, written in 12-20-2023

    I got this key chain from HUST probably in year 1996 or year 1993

    现在叫华中科技大学（没有对钢铁学院*不敬的意思：但是在我心里我的母校一直是华中理工大学，或是华中工学院）。大家有时候自己开玩笑叫关山口技校。因为最早的时候学校的站名是关山口。我估计现在那里不只一个车站了。

    我是1989年上的大学。我从小在浙江农村长大，能否考上大学对我来说是个很大的事（俗话说的跳出农门）。我的老大现在十三岁，我告诉她，如果我考不上大学，我就只能做农民。她在美国出生长大，当然没法完全理解我说的做农民的意思。

    我在高三的时候理想的大学SJTU是在上海。但是那一年高考我没有完全发挥出我的水平，再加上那年春夏之间北京发生的事，我有不少同学和她们的家长希望小孩去上海。所以虽然我的第一志愿还是上海某大学，我心里知道我的第二志愿（second choice)这一次有可能会有用。

    虽然很多大学不喜欢接受选了她们学校作为第二志愿的学生，这个有点像一个女孩听到一个男孩说她是候补（second choice）。NO。That’s a bitter pill to swallow.

    但是对我们在浙江长大的小朋友来说，大多数人不想去除了北京上海以外的外地。我上面已经说了北京那年不少家庭不想让小孩去。这样就给其它外地高校（大学）出了个题：怎么招满她家在浙江省的招生名额。所以我说第二志愿对我来说也可能会有用。

    填最后的志愿表之前，我爸爸带我去见了他认识的刘同森老师，好像当年也是他的老师。刘老师说了三个选择，大连理工，天津大学，还有就是华中理工。我妈妈在这之前，经常跟我说有谁去了北方：西安交大还是天津的大学，我现在记不清了。总而言之，我的理解去北方的话就得吃黑面包。这个有点吓人。我就挑了华工。

    我记得当我接到华工的入学通知书时，还是悲喜交加。主要是担心上学的行程较不方便：我在长江轮船的博客上也有提到。四年以后，我试图通过考研再试试上海某大学，还是因数学考试没有准备好而再次失败。没有第三次，第三次我来到了密苏里大学罗拉分校（现在已改名密苏里理工大学）。看来我跟理工大学有缘。有一个原因可能是因为我们那时候有一个说法：学好数理化，走遍天下也不怕。Another reason is I was under the impression having a profession is good to make a living, something along these lines (In the blog post, How To Survive As An IT Contractor? I mentioned my maternal grandma and (actually my maternal uncle, my mom’s brother) think it’s good to be an engineer.

    同时我一个人可能把理工大学给用完了，我的十三岁的大女儿现在是没有上理工大学获学工程的打算。当然女大十八变，我希望她将来至少在数学和计算机方面是相对较强的。(Update 09-20-2025) This is no longer accurate, I think she is now planning to study in Engineering, as she believe that she can make a difference in climate change by majoring/focusing on engineering. Remember the old Chinese saying “女大十八变“？I think it’s all good, btw.

    *有一些钢铁学院改名，比如北京钢铁学院叫北京科技大学，武汉钢铁学院改成武汉科技大学等等。中国科技大学不是中国钢铁学院改的，她家本来就是中国科学技术大学。

  • How I learned spoken English after coming to the USA and started teaching

    Reading Time: 3 minutes

    Using Spoken English the 1st time in the USA

    97年夏天我第一次来美国，我的飞机航班是东航上海虹桥(SHA) 到洛杉矶 (LAX, China Eastern MU 583), 当时好像用的是麦道11(Btw, 93年好像有一次事故），再从洛杉矶坐TWA航班飞圣路易斯(STL)。我在洛杉矶机场犯了一个不大不小的错误。我当时很想上厕所，急着从机场（入境处和海关）出来，结果一出来就拿错了行李。等我发现我拿错了，我已经出了海关，我赶紧用我的英语跟美国机场的工作人员解释，还好他听懂了，让我进去跟东航的地勤人员说上话，交换了行李（取到了我自己的行李）。这个箱子是当时上海第一百货的牌子，估计我们都是在一百买的，这个箱子实用也较便宜。这一次是我的口语第一次在美国派到用场。

    PS: 大概在2005/6年在圣村的机场，又碰到一件类似的事情，这一次是Diplomat的灰色硬壳箱。对方把我的箱子拿到家以后，没有多想，直接撬锁。后来她通过航空公司陪了我大概是五十还是一百块钱(USD)：她没有拿我的东西，就是赔我的坏掉的箱锁。那个箱子今年回国才退休。Also: I have other stories with the diplomat luggage (1 and 2) back in 2007 when I tried to replace a broken wheel. So this one really last for a long time: at least from 2007 to 2023. I think I bought it before 2007 too.

    Learning English in Missouri S&T at Rolla

    Note the adults tend to stay or social with her/his own ethic group or friends, and use the 1st language he/she is familiar with. When I was a graduate student in Rolla more than 20 years ago, I used to have an American professor, and he made a comment which I agree: American grad students stay with the Americans, Chinese students stay with the Chinese, and Indian students stay with Indians.

    I have Indian born advisor, and I talked to Indian born graduate students. One nice thing is one fellow graduate student sometimes corrected my English, and that really helped. Not many people would correct or point out. Btw, that particular grad student is now a technology VP at a credit rating agency.

    At one time, I was able to translate for the professors during a meeting. I think the fellow graduate student is from Africa and he has some accent, but it’s not too hard to guess or figure out.

    Host family
    When I was new to Rolla, I got to learn the Stoltz family through the international office’s host family program. And they helped my English (via conversations), and get familiar with the America culture in many aspects. I still remember, the dinners, the trips to the Governor’s Manson, to Branson and the Xmas gifts.

    Fraternity

    At one time because I live with American undergrad everyday, and listen to their talking daily, I felt English is almost like “my native language”. Also once my “big brother” told me: you lived in a quite unique fraternity. And I agree: in the beginning of my stay there, I rode bike from school to the fraternity house every day. When the weather was bad I would call the house for help, and my brothers never failed to pick me up. That includes the rides in the snow days too.

    I retook the English test again a few years later: got a “fair” grade from another Indian born professor.

    TV and Movies are also a very important source of education for my Oral English. Back in those days it was mostly the Blockbuster videos, and just movies on the TV. Now it’s mostly streaming mostly from Netflix, Amazon and Hulu. American middle schools and high school tv 📺 or movies 🎥
    High School: Gilmore girls (Netflix)
    High School: Breakfast club (I watched via Amazon Prime, free)
    College: back to school 🏫 (Amazon, for a fee)

    Holiday themed movies

    Love Actually (a classic, watch it on Netflix before 12/31/2023)

    Holiday in Vineyard (Netflix)

    Christmas with a View (Netflix, going away on 1/1/24)

    More

    Romantic series: the Virgin River (Netflix, the series 5 just debuted and the last episode has holiday theme/Christmas celebration)

    Other comedies:

    Seinfeld

    Friends

    No Hard Feelings (Jennifer Lawrence, new on Netflix)

    NPR

    Most listened programs: morning edition, all things considered, market place, planet money and ted radio hour.

    Listened in the past, enjoyed but no longer available or no longer listen much due change of taste or programming: Diane Rhem show, Fresh Air (Terry Gros), Car Talk, Wait Wait Don’t Tell Me, Weekend Edition.

    Including BBC World Service (in the night)

    Teaching

    I taught in China. Many years ago in SH. Failed. Will talk more about that exp. later, hopefully 🙁

    When I was new to Rolla, I failed in the Teaching Assistant (TA) English test – later I tried to practice oral English with a English teacher during lunch (once a week). I didn’t teach when at Rolla (again because I flunked the spoken English test), and had to look for RA (research assistant) job in the school. Later on I taught in Abacus Rolla, to a few fellow grad students, and I did okay. It was friendly environment too.

    This fall I started teaching graduate course at Webster U. 韦伯斯特大学客座教授（其实就是兼职 adjunct professor 🙂 Couple funny things:

    1. I was nervous before doing this, but my wife and 13 year old daughter were quite nervous too;
    2. I think it’s giving me some energy interacting with younger folks (all graduate students are younger than me). I do interact with my kids quite a bit too: to be precise more than interacting with them, or Uber-ing them around. But most kids will eventually grow up and live on their own. That’s where interacting with young folks becoming more important: I believe that’s one reason Warren Buffett likes to teach at school sometimes, or hosting the MBA students at his company’s HQ or at the annual shareholder meeting. Also the BRK meeting, plus Charlie’s Daily Journal Co and past Wesco shareholder meetings allow both of them to interact with many people, including many young people too. That’s one secret sauce of their longetibity.

  • St. Louis Area Nature Trails

    Reading Time: 3 minutes

    For hiking or walking. Some are paved, while others are not. By nature I mean there are trees etc. around the trail. I am adding difficulty levels (categories) for hiking or walking. By easy, I mean it’s suitable for family. By moderate, I mean, the old or the young may have some challenge complete the whole trail due to distance, or the surface.

    Easy

    Gentry Park at Bridgeton: paved

    Malcolm Terrace Park: some nature walk, 1 mile round trip from the pavillion (the longer loop).

    Millennium Park: paved.

    Stacy Park: some nature walk, newly installed in last few years.

    Venable Park: full name is Dr. Phillip Venable Memorial Park.

    Warson Park: Stacy Park: some nature walk, newly installed in last few years.

    Chesterfield central park: all paved

    Creve Coeur Lake (paved), the loop is about 3.6 miles. Gets popular in nice days (weather). Note many St. Louis county parks have the exercises equipment or station along the trail, sometimes my kids would like to play with them during the walk. The only thing we need to be careful is: sometimes an equipment could be broken – stay away from it. Don’t attempt to work on the broken equipment, and got hurt (then sue the county park division 🙂

    Powder Valley: mixed paved vs gravel. There are a few short distance trails.

    Longview Farm park: at Town and Country. Note the Quneey Park is not too far away, and it’s much bigger.

    James McDonnell County Park: it has quite a few amenities, and it’s fairly close to where I live.

    Moderate

    Boot Leg Trails at Creve Coeur Lake: note this is a trail sometimes the bikers riding bikes. Most of them are mindful of the hikers, but in general try not to listen to AirPods (especially with the noise cancelling features) so that you don’t get hit by a bike. I think the Lost Valley in St. Charles are like that too.

    Quneey Park: this along with the Boot Leg, are probably two popular longer trails in the St. Lous county. I recall I ran once at the park during the SnowBall series a few years ago (maybe year 2017 or 2018?). There are two popular winter run series in the STL area, the other one is Frost Bite. I am running the latter series last year and this year. Both are good. I had quite some memories over the years from the Snowball series, including once, had to run briefly in the Creve Coeur lake (paved) trail in the melted snow water: one gentleman fell unfortunately, and that’s the reason I remembered.

    Lost Valley: St. Charles. We did a large portion of the trail during the rock runner morning run. Below is quote from Andy K. who is the organizer of Rock Runner

    ======

    • Physical Address is: Lost Valley Trails Parking Lot, Lost Valley Trail, Defiance, MO 63341 (trailhead). 
    • Technical Level Yellow as the trail includes a variety of the following: single track, gravel road, creek crossings, dirt and semi rocky trails, switch-backs, moderate climbs and descents
    • For the History Buffs among us, here is a great link with tons of information and pics surrounding the unfortunate events in the 1940’s in the surrounding area of the park. Lost Valley area history  

    ======

    Mastodon: Jefferson County

    More nature trails

    I also maintain a Google doc that has more nature trails in the area. I intend to maintain that google doc as time goes. Probably hike (re-hike) some of those trails too.

    During 2020 to 2022, we (as a family, many times with friends) hiked quite a few places, especially in the year 2020 and 2021 (due to pandemic, I guess the moms were worried about kids’s well beings, and they don’t like kids glue their eyes to the iPads all day). Unfortunately “gluing to iPads or computer” is the new normal now with the pandemic is largely behind us 🙁

    In Summer 2022 I also joined the Rock Runner by Fleet Feet and got to hike or ran in some of the area nature trails.

    PS: AllTrails has a nice website and app for the trails in the US. I used their paid app in couple years and they allow the map to downloaded so that even in the trails (a lot of times we don’t have reliable cell data), we can still have the map and GPS.

  • 长江轮船🚢

    Reading Time: < 1 minute
    The picture is from 春节回家路上，你是否还记得那张旧船票？

    再过几年，如果不出意外(knock on the woods)，我会送我的老大去上大学。希望是一所她理想中的学校。今年是我大学毕业30周年。也就是说我是34年前（也就是1989年夏天）开始去上大学的。我家在宁波，我的大学在武汉。那时候国内火车没有现在那么发达。但是那时候有轮船，有客运的海轮和长江轮船。宁波到上海一般是坐海轮或是火车，上海（十六铺码头）到武汉（汉口，忘了几号码头了）有长江轮。大学生坐火车有半票，轮船没有这个优惠。火车要相对快一些，但是有时候（很多时候）会没有座位。轮船较慢但是有床位可以睡觉。可以说各有利弊。其实还有飞机，宁波到武汉有运七(Wiki, Baidu))的飞机，很可能是螺旋桨的飞机。我没有坐过（因为机票更贵），但是我有镇海中学的同学坐过。

    第一次去大学

    我第一次去武汉上学是坐了两个/趟轮船，宁波到上海，上海再到武汉。我爸爸送我到上海。宁波到上海一般是坐/睡一个晚上。上海到武汉，长江逆流而上，是72个小时，大概是两天三夜。武汉到上海顺流而下大概是48小时。还有长江轮其实有两个分公司，江申号是上海的（上海简称是申），江汉号是武汉的。

    轮船一般会有不同等级的仓位，一般坐四等仓较多。我有一次坐了回长江轮的五等仓。那一次好像是我表姐带着我去买票，她可能有点节省惯了，她建议我买五等仓，我就买了。

    四等仓和五等仓

    五等仓的一个房间人/床比四等仓就更多一些。四等仓我印象中是十二个人，五等舱可能是二十四人。还有就是五等舱是在最底层，机器的声音好像也响一些。我现在美国呆久了，我住的地方也有不少华人。我觉得华人有一点是有待改进的，那就是攀比和歧视。轮船的仓位也是有歧视的：我记得当时五等舱的同仓里面好像有上海知青一家人。男主人说：他们有些人认为我们是穷人（他用了穷鬼这个词），其实我们并不是没钱，我们只是想省钱。我觉得他的话也是有道理的。其实除了五等仓，还有一种叫散仓，就是给一个折叠床和被褥，一般可以放在船头。有一回，大概是1993秋天，我刚毕业不久，出差从青岛回上海坐海轮，没有床位，大家都坐了散仓。

    我第一次去武汉坐了四等仓：我记得当时同仓有几个国家排球（青年）队的几个队员，湖北人，他们说的湖北话我基本上不懂。不过武汉/湖北话其实跟普通话较接近，到了学校以后很快就能听懂了。有一个小小的笑话，有个湖北同学，我们两个可能是到寝室最早的，他说：我的“鞋子”（孩子，湖北话鞋子听起来像孩子）（从窗口）掉下去了。

    我印象中四等舱和五等舱的价格大概差别是十几/二十块钱（五十几🆚七十几）。我记得火车票因为是半票大概是二十七块钱。那时候十几/二十块钱对我来说还是值一点钱的：我印象中到我大四的下学期，我爸爸妈妈大概会给我一个月一百块钱的生活费（主要是吃饭的钱，加上零花）。我倒推一下，估计我大一的第一学期，可能一个月是五十块钱的生活费。

    总的来说，坐船比坐火车还是舒服很多。因为火车，尤其在春运期间，不仅没坐的位置，有时连站的位置也没有。我以前在这两个博客文章里也讲过, search for “train” (blog post 1, blog post 2)。我记得，有一次，我从宁波回武昌，从南昌转车，经株洲，最后到武昌，总共大概站了十几个小时。那时候是绿皮的火车。我记得有一段时间，我站在一个东阳到武汉大学上学的师姐（88级），她给了我一个苹果，削了皮的。

    餐厅

    轮船上有餐厅，当然也不会很便宜。很多时候，我应该是吃方便面的。那时候好像还流行火腿肠。偶尔有时也会去餐厅买个饭。记得有一次同仓的有个在武汉上学的师姐（比我高一级的女生，她家可能是马鞍山的），她的男朋友也会上船，她见到男朋友自然很开心。

    轶事

    有一次，好像是冬天，有个人跳下去了，是白天（我估计这个人不是真的想自杀）。结果很快被发现，大船掉头，放下小艇把那个人捞上来，费了一点时间。

    我为什么去武汉上学

    有一个原因，我家里人，主要是听我妈妈说去北方要吃黑面包（馒头）。我们南方人本来就不喜欢面包，好像有个老乡去了北方（天津还是西安）回来说的。我估计，我妈妈可能希望我上学的地方近一些。结果我第二志愿报了武汉（第一志愿是上海某高校）。因为武汉是吃大米为主的。我有个山东同学，在老家主要是吃馒头（面食）。他们一帮山东老乡在校门口的饭店吃饭，问有没有饭，结果拿上来的是米饭，很是失望。那时候在学校里，听到苏南，上海，绍兴等地的话都是感觉较亲的。

  • The 4 right hand men of Warren Buffett 巴菲特的四大金刚

    Reading Time: 3 minutes

    油管：my Youtube 2022 video for BRK HQ video below (narration mostly in Chinese)

    Charlie Munger

    We know Charlie Munger (Wiki) passed away recently, and he was the vice chairman of Berkshire Hathaway: he had some influence on Warren Buffet’s investments over the years, including See’s Candy, Coca Cola and so on. Here is the free online book Poor Charlie’s Almanack (you can purchase the paper versions through the links here). Also, the last interview before he passed away with CNBC’s Becky Quick (1 hour 42 mins, YouTube link here). I still think Warren makes most investments decisions independently. though.

    If you like to have a quick look, I listed some shorter videos of Charlie Munger’s classical moments here.

    四大金刚 (google; baidu baike, Wiki) is a common idiom in Chinese, and I think it may be suitable to describe the current top 4 men who works for Warren Buffett. And I assume they take over most of what Warren does today, should Warren decides to retire.

    Top Two (Duo)

    Greg Abel (Wiki): current Vice Chairman of BRK, responsible for all non-insurance operations, which also means he is in charge of the BRK Energy (formerly Mid-America Energy), BNSF Railway, many manufacturing and retail operations ranges from BH Home Service (real estate agents), Brooks Running, Clayton Home, Diary Queen, to ISCAR, Nebraska Furniture Market (NFM), Net Jets, See’s Candies, to Oriental Trading, Squish Marrow and so on. Note there are many business people may have not heard of. As of now, Greg will be the CEO of Berkshire Hathaway when Warren Buffett retires, in addition to his curent Vice Chair title.

    Ajit Jain: current Vice Chairman of BRK, responsible for all insurance operations, companies such as Geico (car insurance) to reinsurance business.

    Warren asked Greg and Ajit to be on the stage in last few years’ annual shareholder meeting, and they answered relevant questions in their portfolio. This is a good move. I think also, once Charlie slipped his tongue during an Q&A, and he said Greg will keep the culture (or something similar). So the world knows Greg is the CEO heir apparent.

    Investment managers (also a duo)

    Ted and Todd are two former hedge fund managers that Warren Buffet hired about 15 years ago (exact date please refer to their Wikipedia links below, or you can google it). Quite a few people including $BRK.A and $BRK.B shareholders would question Warren Buffett’s age and they are worried what if Warren suddenly became incapacitated or die. Who is the heir apparent. This is a tricky question or problem, because very few hedge fund managers would give up their career, at the same time would basically be prepared when this inevitable happens. It seems in Ted W. and Todd C. Warren found the perfect duo for this job. This is somewhat like the duo of Warren himself and Charlie.

    Berkshire began buying Apple stock in 2016 under the influence of Buffett’s investing deputies, Todd Combs and Ted Weschler.

    Ted Weschler: Ted got a bit unwanted attention from his personal IRA investment. But his performance speaks louder than his words. Quote Wikipedia: in 2012, Weschler joined Buffett at Berkshire Hathaway, a year after Todd Combs joined as Berkshire’s first investment manager. As of 2019, he managed $13 billion of the equity portfolio and $8 billion in pension funds.

    Todd Combs: in addition to his investment duty (along with Ted), note Todd is also the CEO of Geico (and technically for that role he reports to Ajit). Here is a picture of Todd during “invest in yourself 5k” during the annual Berkshire Hathaway shareholder meeting. Here is a picture of Ted, Todd and Tracy Britt Cool during that run. Note Tracy used to work for Warren as well, and she started to work on her own investment partnership in recent years. Maybe someday she will come back to BRK: if the right opportunity arises.

    Board

    Howard Buffett, Warren’s older son, plans to take over the Chairman role when Warren retires. Susan Buffett, Warren’s daughter, and a few others will be on the board. They may need to add one or 2 board seats because Charile used to be a board member.

    One thing it’s interesting is Warren likes #pairProgramming, or #pairWorking, because he has two pairs of magnificent managers for CEO and investment managers job.

  • Winter Camp and Some Holiday Tips

    Reading Time: 2 minutes

    OR shall we call it winter break camp?

    I still think during the holiday season, it’s best to spend more time with the kids as they do grow up so quickly. Enjoy the moment when we can. I recall one of the best preschool teacher and administrator, also a Montessori educator in the area, Susie Dodge-Shelton, once said something like this, basically she said “hug your kids more” during holiday season. We knew Susie since year 2008 (?, I think), and knew her husband David who was the director of Hope Infant Toddler Community (HITC): HITC which is next to the Hope Academy in Creve Coeur (HACC, and Susie served as director for the CC campus for many years), there is a short cut between the two campus as I recall. Now they are behind the giant BJC west campus (there was more trees and greens in the front of HACC. They are both wonderful couple and educators. And I believe they are both happily retired.

    With that being said, I am aware of winter break camps, and we have been to some of their equivalent summer camps in the past. Below is not a complete list, to be updated as new information arrives.

    Camps

    All American Gymnastics and Super Ninja

    Basketball: Bobby McCorMack: noticed Dec 18 to Dec 20.

    Forest lake tennis camp: Winter Junior Camp

    NRG WinterCamps & Specialty Camps

    The J

    Maryville Holiday Drop and Shop: Dec 10 and Dec 17

    Olivette (In The Center of It All 🙂

    Below are some holiday tips

    Don’t Let Stress Ruin the Holidays (copied/pasted from my employer’s benefit email)
    Stress often goes hand in hand with the holiday season. There’s the pressure of buying the perfect gifts — and making sure you don’t go broke. Holiday party after holiday party can stretch you thin. And for many of us, missing loved ones who are not around can make celebrating difficult.
    Many adults deal with stress, anxiety, and depression during this time of year. Here are several strategies to reduce stress during the holiday season.

    1. Lean into healthy habits. Virtually any form of physical activity can act as a stress reliever, so get regular exercise during the holidays.
    2. Know your limits for time and money. Consider saying no to some invites to avoid felling overwhelmed. Set a realistic budget to prevent stresses from overspending.
    3. Limit social media. Social media may increase potential negative effects on your mental health. Try to use time around the holidays to step away from your phone and enjoy in-person time with loved ones.
    4. Stay present and be proactive. If you feel tension or worry building, address it before it becomes all-consuming. Giving yourself a chance to catch your breath and refocus may help you feel better. #holiday #stress #health

  • What’s for dinner? 晚饭吃什么 – a series on what we eat and its impact on our bodies – I

    Reading Time: < 1 minute

    我的小女儿经常说的一个口头禅是如上的标题。这个好像也是my better half （aka 也就是我太太)有时头疼的一个问题。我觉得吃或者饥饿也是人的本性之一吧。我自己总的来说应该是没有因为经济的原因，在小时候饿过肚子。我太太应该也没有（她也是浙江人）。有一次我闯了一个不大不小的祸：小朋友玩捉迷藏，我好像躲在那个油菜的杆子后面，后来那家人说他们那个还有菜籽（可以榨油的那种油菜籽，canola oil), 我爸爸妈妈可能陪了他们五毛钱(no pun intended, for real)。那个时候我爸爸的月工资大概是50块钱，也就是我的错误大概是我爸爸月收入的1%。比我十三岁女儿最近的iPhone事故稍好些。那天晚饭我不敢回家吃饭，后来我的哥哥把我叫回去了。一般来说，再大的事不影响吃饭。那时候还有一个大人经常用来吓唬小孩的故事：浪费粮食，打雷的时候雷公会打的。后来在美国，我的美国host mom(她四八年生人，我不是住在他们家，但是他们对我刚来美国有很大帮助，以后会单独写），她的妈妈在她们小时候经常说：finish what’s on your plate, because in China and India a lot of pepiple are staving. 让我又想到小时候的台湾人民生活在水深火热之中，后来在美国碰到台湾人，好像他们也这么说。

    我是七十年代初在浙江东北部农村长大，相对来说应该是较富的农村。但是还是很怀念过年或是暑假去我外婆（大舅小舅家的日子）。我可能是比较贪吃的人。我想起来，我五年级，我小哥初二，他有一次开玩笑说我肚子里有馋虫。我将信将疑，可能有点像我九岁的小女儿（四年级）不久前对圣诞老人的相信程度吧 🙂

    还记得有一次，我在镇海中学上学，我大舅来镇海（城关镇），他的学生（我一般叫她阿姨，因为她也是我妈妈的朋友，我妈妈比我大舅小十几岁），叫我一起去吃晚饭。虽然当时我已经在学校食堂吃过饭了。我就去她家吃了个十二分饱 🙁

    很多年以后，严格来说也就是在我年过半百的时候，我才慢慢意识到，在我现在这个年龄，吃饭最好最好吃个7️⃣分饱。亡羊补牢为时不晚。Better late than never.

    小时候，好像总的来说，肉比较少，有时候好像要凭票。牛肉更少，好像生产队偶尔会分牛肉：我印像中一般可能是耕牛（干活的牛）可能老死了。顺便说一下，我骑过一次牛，我应该很小，还没上学，我的叔叔给生产队放牛（不是亲叔叔，但是比较近）把我放在牛背上，感觉牛背很高（多年以后我后来在美国骑过一会马，感觉有点类似）。公公（叔叔的爸爸）很能干，我现在还记得在他家吃的高粱饼的味道。我们那里一般大家不怎么种高粱，印像中高粱主要是北方种得多一些。偶尔我们也会到邻居阿嫂家蹭东西吃：比如寒假暑假里，我们爸爸妈妈要上班，阿嫂做得东西很好吃。当然，可能还有一个原因，就是跟”neighbor’s yard is greener” 类似的道理。有一次，还听说一个笑话。事情是这样的：有一家在做“汤锅”，就是没有馅的小圆子，另一家正好经过，就开玩笑说等一下做好了，就来吃晚饭吧。主人就说好的。我估计这个客人的智商可能跟我小时候的智商差不多，因为她们后来真的穿着漂亮衣服，去吃晚饭了。

    为什么提到我的智商呢，其实严格来说应该是情商，就是察言观色的水平，英文叫read the room, or read/listen between the lines。就是有一次，我大概是我小女儿现在的年纪，春节期间去我爸的亲戚家做客，他的表哥家，我爸的姨娘（也就是我奶奶的姐姐）也在，他们拿出了所有的好菜。结果，我可能把我姨婆/大伯家的黄鱼给撬了。后来知道有的菜主人可能就一份，不能随便撬的 🙁 我的大哥小哥可能把我好好笑话了一下。我记得这是我去唯一一次去大伯家做客。我爸爸可能后来有去的：我倒不是觉得是因为我撬了不该撬的菜。我估计主要还是春节期间我们一般会去外婆（小舅家）住几天。也有去过外婆家旁边的姑婆家：应该是我妈妈/舅舅的姑妈，和我妈妈的表哥家。我记得有一次（我应该比我小女儿现在还小），我在公共汽车站，说口渴，我外婆就走到相对较近的姑婆家给我去倒了水喝。小时候去外婆家，坐车，走路都有。我小时候有时会觉得，如果我“聪明”一点（用现在流行的话来说情商高一点），我的肩膀上可能跟两个哥哥一样是三条杠（而不是两条了）。这个可能在现在看来很好笑，但当时是我真实的想法。我后来有一次还真的拿到了三条杠，可惜时间不长，因为我五年级很快转学了：也就“削官为民” 🙂

    在我的外婆家（也就是大舅，小舅家）没有这个不能撬菜的讲究。八零后九零后出生的朋友们可能会没听说过”拿出来装样子的菜“：生活水平后来慢慢上去了。还有一个，后来也是听朋友提起，就是重男轻女，女生先不上桌。这个可能现在也好多了。外婆可能还是重男轻女的，比如说她会让我的表妹（跟我同岁）帮我洗衣服，等等，但是总的来说还好。春节在我外婆家的主要任务就是吃吃吃。我现在想起来她有时会问我们，早上，coffee time (宁波话想不起来了), 中午，点心时（下午三点左右），晚上各吃什么。

    记得我小舅也是很会做菜。我记得几年前在他家还吃过他做的菜。小时候有一次夏天，我在他家，他发现我吃饭较慢。他说是不是因为菜不够好。有一次，他买了不少好菜，比如大虾啥的，后来发现我还是吃得很慢，他就知道我这吃饭慢的习惯了。

    当然我的主要时间还是在自己家里。可能吃了不少海鲜包括各种鱼。当然过年的时候会更多一点。平时也有一些，我奶奶会买。比如马鲛鱼（Spanish mackerels），现在在这边日本餐馆，还有有一次在Share Sweet 有买到。

    TO be continued… (下面部分，我会慢慢展开）

    ======

    民以食为天是什么意思: 我估计在中国古代能吃饱饭可能是比较奢侈的事情。“国以民为本，民以食为天，谚语，意思是国家把人民看作根本，人民把粮食当作生命，指统治者应重视解决人民所需的粮食。”

    冰箱坏掉的日子： 最近几天家里冰箱坏了。

    但我后来慢慢知道在美国也有小孩吃不饱饭的。其实来到圣路易斯以后就知道了。主要倒不是听了John Edwards 的speech: 我在2004年美国大选时在Delmar Loop 的Blueberry Hills 见过他。还记得2008年那一次有人开了宝马车去food bank领救济粮/食品的。

    https://www.nokidhungry.org/blog/how-many-kids-america-go-bed-hungry

    https://www.rileychildrens.org/connections/food-before-bed-what-to-offer-kids-and-when-to-hold-back (this is not economy or financial related)

    ======

    Ozempic (the new and hot)

    西方最新减肥药（处方药）以下是我的一些推（或着严格来说是X）。肥胖是西方尤其是美国很严重的一个问题，有个数据说美国成年人有42%的人偏肥胖(Source: National Institute of Diabetes and Digestive and Kidney Diseases NIDDK, NIH)。

    (Update 12-31-2023) I happened to see this book “How Not To Be Wrong (the power of mathematical thinking)” by Jordan Ellenberg, thanks to my wife. On page 24, it talked about nicomachean ethics. Let me quote: Aristotle observes that eating too much or too little is troubling to the constitution. The optimum is somewhere in between; because the relation between eating and health isn’t linear, but curved, with bad outcomes on both ends.

  • Micro managers and micro management

    Reading Time: 3 minutes

    My wife who started working for a localization company since this past April, for the most part she was happy. But recently she started to talk about this exact issue of her leader (more a tech lead or project lead, not necessarily a manager). This reminds me of my own experience of dealing with micro managers and micro management. It seems to me, in her case it was mostly her lead is fairly new to the position, and he listened to the client especially a guy who was on the team and has since moved to the client company as an employee. I can understand to some extent. If I was in his position (being new and would like to please the client), I may do some of what he did. Basically he wanted my wife vetting the “slacks messages” with him before posting them directly, also he made some changes to the messages and it seems to my wife he made it worse (I didn’t see the messages, so this could be a bit subjective to say the least). But I do know my wife is somewhat technical and she used to be testing engineer (quality assurance) and she does find bugs and sometimes would discuss those with me. For example, recently she saw a text in the web page (website) was wrong, and she asked whether that text is pulled from the backend (database etc.)

    I don’t have a lot experience like this. But I can certainly empathize. I recall at a small contracting company I had a project lead like she has now. In that case I was let go eventually and I found a new place. Another case, at a coal mining company, my boss was also new, and he would like to make sure that I do the job properly especially in terms of the pace. So he started to do some Xcode (I was doing objective C development work for iPad). But he quickly realized that I was not goof around, and gave me a longer leash.

    I have seen two micromanagers in my last job. I didn’t work for them, and I did work with them. One manager, and I think he is probably 20 years senior than me (I am pretty old). And I think he is just old fashioned manager. He would stand there, and use hand gesture to the people who report to him: you, come here. And once he had a fallout with one developer (which looking back, we should not hire, I will write about the interview later). Basically he won’t accept the developer’s code. Essentially he was saying that code is junk (which again may have some truth). But the way he communicated was blunt to say the least, and I had to step in and play a peace maker.

    Another case, the new manager in another city called a Zoom meeting, and in the meeting essentially he sided with one developer, and fought against another two. Such a rookie new manager mistake. We had to calm the manager down, and told the manager it’s not the right forum for this. But if the manager can think, that’s not the right attitude to handle any workplace dispute either.

    This also reminded me one more thing. That is how we micro manage our kids. We are not helicopter parents, as shown in the new Netflix movie No Hard Feelings. But I think my wife now realized she probably micro managed too much on the girls sometimes 🙂

  • Credit card rewards

    Reading Time: 3 minutes
    PenFed Credit Union is asking me to lobby the congress on rewards Credit Cards

    Or rewards credit cards. Today I received an email from PenFed Credit Union and they are asking me to lobby the congress on rewards Credit Cards. I no longer have their credit cards, I used to have their reward cards, and earned quite a bit gift cards from them. Basically I redeemed the points for various gift cards.

    Some background

    On the Credit Card rewards, and the legislations to eliminate rewards Credit Card:

    NerdWallet

    WALL ST USES BOGUS REWARDS ARGUMENT IN CREDIT CARD DEBATE

    The Truth About Credit Card Rewards

    (NPR) The dirty secret to credit card rewards

    Are credit card rewards at risk? Congress eyes swipe transactions

    (YouTube) Legislation in Congress could end credit card rewards

    Note I have a page on this website related to the Credit Card Rewards too. Also, it seems I talked quite a bit on credit cards in my blogs.

    What I think

    Honestly at this stage of my life I have got “free” iPhone from the credit card rewards, and I got free stay at the Park Hyatt at Shanghai Pudong. But I am ready to give up those perks for the common good. 1% cash back from discover debit sounds good enough for me (see below screenshot). I understand I may be a bit superficial in the sense, that I received quite a bit benefits from the credit card rewards and now I don’t care. I think I am not taking sides on this: it’s a good position to be. I do understand the impact of credit card fees on the smaller retailers. Here in St. Louis, we have a Chinese grocery store that used to accept only cash, and debit cards, somewhat like Aldi did until a few years ago. Grocers have quite low profit margin and the 2 or 3% credit card swiping fee (processing fee) is meaningful or significant for them.

    Who wants the free cup from my new dental office, btw?

    This is a free cup given to me by the new dental office – as a good well gesture I guess. But I really don’t need it. Recently I am in the mode of declutter, and hope to clean up the house a bit so that we have more real living space 🙂 In a way rewards credit card is the same thing, basically it encourages or nudges the cardholder to spend more, I heard one research is credit card users will in general spend 15% than the consumer who uses cash only. I noticed this cup is from a company I know (Ariel Premium Supply) and I know a few people working there. Compared to the credit card companies, Ariel makes not a lot of money, but I think Ariel is in the rewards business too.

    More about the business of Credit Card: The Credit Card Game (full documentary) | FRONTLINE (Aug 15, 2023 #Documentary #Debt #CreditCard)

    Full disclosure: a few years ago I worked in the loyalty and rewards platform for a major Credit Card co. and once I spent 2 hours trying to give a Card Holder (CH) 13 cents worth of points.